One Hundred Thousand Bad Jokes English Version

One Hundred Thousand Bad Jokes English Version

One Hundred Thousand Bad Jokes English Version 1:

A burglar breaks into a house . He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS ??is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it...Once again he hears a voice "JESUS ??is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses?" The parrot replies "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".

One Hundred Thousand Bad Jokes English Version 2:

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

A newspaper organized a competition to collect the best answers to the following question: ? What if Louvre There is a fire in the Floating Palace, and you can only save one painting. Which one will you save?

The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

The winning reply The answer is: The one closest to the door.

?

One Hundred Thousand Bad Jokes English Version 3:

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

The passenger tapped the taxi driver on the shoulder and wanted to ask a question. The driver yelled and the car was lost. Control, almost hit a bus, went on the sidewalk, and finally stopped when it was just a few centimeters away from hitting a store window.

The driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

The driver said, "Man, don't do that again. You scared the shit out of me!" ?The passenger said apologetically, ?I didn't expect that I would be so frightened just by slapping you.? The driver said, ?I'm sorry, it's not entirely your fault. Today is my first day driving a taxi. I have been driving a funeral service for the past 25 years. Car.?

Note:

Daylights: When used in the plural, daylight does not mean "daylight", but means "consciousness, consciousness". ;