How to find humorous jokes?

A patient came to see a psychiatrist. Patient: I always thought I was a bird. Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start? Patient: Because I am a bird ... 1. Teach the teacher: "If you make a mistake, you should learn from it." Student: "I know." Teacher: "Then why do you continue to teach?" Student: "I did it to learn more lessons." 2. A group of students who violate the school rules will be invalidated the next day. After being punished by the teacher, they wrote a book of repentance. Two days later, this group of students was taken to the teaching room again. The teacher said, "Didn't you write a repentance book?" The student said, "Please ask the teacher to read the reverse side of the repentance book." The teacher discovered that there were four words written on the opposite side: "Invalid every other day". I guessed the wrong teacher: "Why don't you always wash your face?" Look, even the residue from your breakfast today is still hanging on your face. "Student:" Guess what I ate this morning? Teacher: "Jam bread." Student: "You are wrong, that was eaten yesterday morning." "4. The busiest person Jack:" I am the busiest person in the world in my class. Jenny: "Why? Jack: "I am busy listening to the teacher and reading picture books." The teacher is coming, and I have to hide. "5. Weeding Teacher Zhang organized the students to pull weeds on the playground, and most of them were very serious about pulling weeds. But Xiao Ming stood there like a log, with his head down and motionless. Teacher Zhang was surprised and asked, "Xiao Ming, why don't you pull up the grass?" Xiao Ming looked up and said, "Teacher Zhang, didn't you say that everyone should take good care of everything in the school? "Why does the rocket run so fast? Teacher: "Baker, why does the rocket run so fast?" "Baker:" whose ass is on fire, don't run like hell! ""7. The most difficult thing is a Chinese class. The teacher gave a topic "Remember the hardest thing" and asked the students to do their homework. Half an hour passed, and many students were almost finished, but Xiao Wang didn't even write a word. The teacher went over and asked him why he didn't start writing. Xiao Wang frowned and said, "The hardest thing for me is writing." 8. Almost eating people Li Xiaodi always misses words when writing articles. He can't write difficult words or ask people. He would rather leave it empty. On one occasion, he wrote in his composition book: "My father is in poor health and asked me to buy someone. When I walked into the store, I saw that the box was full of people, strong and thin. I bought half a catty of people to go home, cut them into pieces, and began to steam people and steam good people. I brought a bowl of soup to my father ... "The teacher was surprised to see his composition and hurried to ask Li Xiaodi, only to know that he had left out a word" ginseng "when he wrote ginseng. 9. The respected teacher asked his students, "Bulls and cows are walking in the fields. Is this correct? " Most students replied, "Yes, exactly." A boy said, "no, it's not like that." It should be said that' Niu Niu is walking in the field', otherwise it is a disrespect for women. " 10. The fish mother art teacher drew a fish on the blackboard, and then asked the students to draw it like that. Delhi sat there motionless, and the teacher said angrily, "You have a week to draw 100 fish exactly like the one on the blackboard." Next week, the teacher asked Delhi to hand over the painting. There is only one fish on the white paper handed over by Delhi. The teacher asked, "Why is there only one?" Delhi replied, "I drew a female fish, which will produce 99 small fish." 1 1. When describing the geography exam, the teacher asked the students to briefly describe the following places: Arabia, Singapore, Cape of Good Hope, Rome, Nagoya and Macau. Among them, Xiao Ming wrote: A long time ago, there was an old man named Arabia. One day, he went out to climb the mountain. When he climbed to Singapore, he suddenly saw a Rome with the Cape of Good Hope on his head coming straight at him. He was so scared that he ran into Nagoya and quickly closed Macao. 12. A topic of related words requires connecting the following four sentences with related words: 1, XXX sister is paralyzed; 2. Sister 2.XXX studies hard; 3. Sister 3.XXX learned a lot of foreign languages; 4. Sister 4.XXX studied acupuncture. The correct answer should be: "Sister XXX is paralyzed, but she studies hard, not only learning a lot of foreign languages, but also learning acupuncture." As a result, one child wrote: Although Sister XXX studied acupuncture, she was still paralyzed. This has made me laugh. I found a more fierce child writing: Sister XXX not only learned a foreign language, but also learned acupuncture. She studied so hard that she finally became paralyzed! 13 13. well, the rules of the university are extremely strict, and you will be fired if you don't come home at night! Three brothers came back late, ready to climb over the wall. A brother carefully poked his head into the wall and saw a migrant worker standing here. He asked in a low voice, "Is there a school security guard?" The migrant workers calmly made an "ok" gesture. Three boys were ecstatic, climbed over the wall and were successfully captured by three school security guards crouching here! Before taking it away, the three boys turned to the migrant workers and complained, "Didn't you say' OK'?" The migrant workers said bitterly, "Didn't I tell you there was a' three'?" When the school began to call the roll, a class teacher was ingenious and said to the students, "I'll look at the student number, so you can report your names yourself, so that everyone can get to know each other, okay?" "No.0065438 +0!" "Teacher, my name is Jiao and my name is Jiao Pei." The teacher was a little dizzy and asked, "Who gave this to you?" "My dad." "What does your father do?" "Open a pig farm!" "No.002!" A girl stood up and said, "Teacher, my name is Zhang and my name is Zhang Dekai." "No.003!" "Teacher, I am Zhang Dekai's twin brother. My name is Zhang. "Who gave you this name?" "It's my dad. He sells pliers. " The teacher quickly took a sip of water. "No.004!" "Report teacher, my name is Qu (pronounced" ou "), and my name is Qu Ye (oh yeah). This is the name my mother gave me. She said that when she gave birth to me, a computer game exploded. " The teacher felt a little uncomfortable. "No.005!" "Report to the teacher, * * Niang!" "How do you call names? ! ""no! Teacher, I mean my last name is Gan, and my name is foster mother. My father makes wine. " The teacher took a pill. "No.006!" "Teacher, my surname is Gou, and I am told to ignore it." "Your dad is a steamed stuffed bun shop? ! ""Teacher, you are so smart! " The teacher has been a little shaken. "No.007!" "My name is Kuai (read fast, send the third sound. ) This is called goods. " "Don't tell me your father runs a warehouse." "Teacher, you are too old-fashioned. My father is a pimp. " Blood oozed from the teacher's mouth. "No.008!" "Teacher, go to hell!" "What? what did you say ? /Excuse me? ! ""I mean, my name is Ni, and I'm going to the temple. My mother is a Buddhist. Is my name interesting? " "Interesting, interesting." The teacher is about to cry. "No.009!" "Teacher, let's talk about it next time." "Why do you want to say it next time, you say it now!" "no! Teacher, my surname is Xia, and my name is Xia Huishuo. My father is a storyteller. " The teacher felt dizzy. "0 10! " "Teacher, my surname is Gao, and my name is." "My name is Mei, and my name is Mei Conscience." "My name is Wu, and my name is Kate." "My last name is Mao Rongrong." It is said that the origin of this cold joke is such a story: one day, the little penguin asked his grandmother, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong? " "But, but why do I feel so cold?" 1 I hate two kinds of people most: one is racist; The second is black; Third, I can't count! 2 ask the canteen: cold. What can I eat to keep warm? A: Eating some cotton helps to keep warm ~ 3 When I was three years old, I said I wanted to be an emperor when I grew up, and my mother smiled. When I was thirteen, I said that I would be a new generation of Chen Jingrun, and my mother smiled. When I called home just now, I said, "Mom, in fact, I'm just a daffodil that you've kept for more than 20 years but still won't bloom ..." On the phone, I heard my mother crying, and my father angrily grabbed the phone and shouted, "When did your boy learn to play dumb? ! ! "There was a man who looked like an onion and cried as he walked. Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. . Cry, cry. . He flew. . The reason why we chose the zoo for the first party in our university is that only here can we feel that we are still individuals ... 7 One day Mung Bean committed suicide and jumped down from the fifth floor, bleeding a lot. It turned into a red bean. It keeps oozing. It turned into soybean. The wound is scarred. Finally turned into a black bean. An egg goes to a teahouse to drink tea, and it becomes a tea egg. Q: Two people fell in. Help 10 Xiao Bai looks like his brother. Do you know why? Because: it's really like Dabai.