Humorous jokes and quotations on the internet.

It is best to find some humorous quotations to relax yourself during the beautiful weekend. I have carefully arranged the following contents for you. I hope you like it.

1, middle school has a thief heart but no thief courage, and college has a thief courage and no thief courage. At that time, there was a thief's heart and no thief's courage.

As the saying goes, there must be a road in front of the driveway, and I can't stop it.

I have died humbly, please live bravely!

If you are so rich, why don't you let the mare go?

Say to those women who love me: if you have the ability, you will love me for life.

6 people are afraid of famous pigs and strong, men are afraid of having no money and women are afraid of being fat.

If you get married, marry someone else first, then marry me, take his savings and lead his sister and drive that BMW.

8 Women are easily dumped if they don't put it off, but men can't get used to it. The more they get used to it, the more * * *.

If you live, you will die sooner or later; If you die, you will live forever.

10 inexplicable backache, is the old woman pregnant?

Humorous jokes and quotations on the internet

1 I am not young, I am getting old; Not getting old, but getting old.

How big a body do you have to be to support your dirty soul!

Since ancient times, there have been no charming mothers on the Internet, but there are several pairs of mandarin ducks and perverted pheasants.

Are you tired? Just tired. Comfort is for the dead.

Being single is not terrible. What's terrible is those who try their best to make you end your single life.

Don't compare people with dogs. Dogs are at least loyal.

The society is different, but I am not your object.

I have to admire my female friend, wearing shorts in such a cold day.

Brother, don't go to the dentist, the door is open!

10 If life is just like the first time, it is suspected that the Milky Way has set for nine days.

1 1 Since ancient times, no one has died, and everyone has died sooner or later.

12 the advertisement was well watched, and suddenly a TV series popped up! Damn it!

13 days can not only give birth to love, but also give birth to children sometimes.

14 since streaking, my waist has stopped hurting and my legs have stopped cramping. It's delicious!

15 what would you do if someone told you that you won w? Calm down and say to yourself: Stop dreaming!

16 men mix well and their hair falls backwards; Women mix well and wear less.

17 Go straight to the point and don't challenge my blacklist with your ignorance.

/kloc-it's so cold in 0/8 days that I feel hot in short sleeves.

19 Without a strong owner, don't think you can bite just because you are a dog!

Love without love is a kind of self-abuse; Love without love is a kind of self-harm.

Shocking humorous jokes and quotations on the Internet.

1 People always want ghosts and gods to know when doing good things, but they always think ghosts and gods don't know when doing bad things. We embarrassed ghosts and gods.

People will only call you a bastard, and I will prove that you are a bastard!

The dream thing is to be shattered.

I am a flower on the cliff, and no one will see me or praise me.

I wanted to get up and leave the world of mortals, but my shadow fell into the world.

I like a melodramatic woman who speaks the same way, just like singing opera.

It doesn't matter if you don't like me. I'll let my son marry your daughter in the future.

8 stars can be more famous if they take off a little, but I got caught when I took off all my clothes!

Men conquer women by conquering the world! Women conquer the world by conquering men!

10 It is better to buy a good house than a good cemetery. Where is your final destination?

1 1 On behalf of my future daughter-in-law, I thank my former girlfriends for letting her find a perfect husband.

Your appearance has affected my healthy growth.

13 love is like a man's sponge, and it is doomed not to last long!

14 The biggest wish of my buddies is: beautiful clothes!

15 We have no intention of sleeping for a long time. What can we pursue besides creating human beings?

16 suddenly looking back, the man is already in the marriage registry.

17 The last injury depends on how itchy your skin is.

18 dry wood meets fire, which is called Ming Sao; Wet wood meets small flames, which is a man show.

19 Real warriors dare to face up to beautiful girls and bleak singles.

I want everything, but I am shameless. Eat everything, but lose nothing.

2 1 use lies to test lies, and all you get are lies.

Twenty-two Yes How famous you are. You've made a lot of movies, but now you're not allowed to broadcast them.

23 it's over, you ignore me. I am a dog.

Happiness has just begun, but sadness is already lurking.

People who have no ability to pretend to be forced, people who have the ability to pretend to be forced!

Life in bed, death in bed, want to live and die in bed.

It is said that the tears you shed are the water in your head.

As soon as I settle down to study, I think of the whole world. The motherland has not been unified yet, and I feel very depressed and depressed. I really have no intention to study.

Boss, don't talk to me about standards, because my salary is not up to standard!

In the days when there are no women, I enjoy flirting with men!