Selected campus jokes

"Our dormitory is bursting with heat." "How can it be hot enough to explode?" "He suddenly flew into a rage." "Who is hot fried? ! ! ! ""It burns quickly. " "........."

2. What a great student!

The teacher above talked very hard, but the next student fell asleep. The teacher was very angry.

I woke him up and asked him, "What are you doing with your eyes closed?"

The student said, "I'm reciting."

Teacher: "Then why are you the first?"

Student: "I agree with you."

Teacher: "Then why are you still drooling?"

Student: "Because I listened with relish. . . "

3. The drug acts for a whole day

Xiaoming always giggles at the teacher in class. The teacher asked him angrily, Xiao Ming, why do you always smile at me?

Xiaoming: Because I have a cold.

The teacher asked with concern: I still laugh when I have a cold. Did you take your medicine?

Xiao Ming: Laugh after taking medicine.

Teacher: Why?

Xiaoming: The advertisement says that this medicine will last all day.

Teacher: ...

4. Did I lose money?

When I got up yesterday, I wanted to buy breakfast. I found the money missing. I can't find it anywhere. I asked my roommate, don't worry, you must have lost your room, or you can sweep the floor and see if it will come out. As soon as I heard that it made sense, I swept the floor seriously. Then I looked at the cleaned floor and my roommate smiled. Did I miss anything?

5. Low IQ

The whole class did badly in an exam, and the teacher said angrily, if you think your IQ is low, please stand up. No classmates moved for a long time, and then Xiaoming stood up. The teacher asked: Do you admit that your IQ is low? Xiao Ming said: no, my IQ is not low. I just can't bear to see you standing alone.

6. What happened to those people in those years!

When I was in high school, the canteen dripped rice, which was called a sturdy one. I chewed it in my mouth for a long time before I took off a grain of rice.

Finally, I couldn't help protesting to the chef in the canteen: I said, can your meal not be so hard?

Master: Do you think everyone loves soft meals as much as you do?

This man has a loud voice, which attracts people's attention ... I am very angry ... I shout: you just have a soft meal, no, you want a soft meal, and no one wants to invite you to eat it. ...

7. Evil in the dark

A young couple were sitting on a rumbling train together. When the train entered a long tunnel, it suddenly became dark in the carriage. The girl thought, at this time, if she ... thought of this, she blushed. As expected, the young man's lips turned up, and with a long kiss, the girl fell into the ocean of happiness.

The sun shone in again, and the girl still blushed and whispered to her boyfriend, "hate, so cruel." Boyfriend paused, "what's the matter? What have I done? " The girl exclaimed, "Didn't you just kiss me?"

8. Laugh happily.

When the school reporter group interviewed the long-distance running champion in the department,

Reporter: What were you thinking when you ran to 5000 meters?

Teacher champion: I want to know which lap this is.

Reporter: You still have leisure to think about this.

9. Popular products of the times

At a class meeting, the teacher is instructing junior high school students how to correctly understand "fashion". In order to understand the students' mastery, the teacher asked a question: "Students, what do you think is the most popular in society now?"

Students are talking noisily: some say KFC and McDonald's; Some say online games; There is also a wonderful work, saying that he is in love on the grounds of "adults and children talk".

Finally, Xiao Ming spoke: "I think the most popular thing should be a cold!" " Chickens, pigs and people are welcome! "

10, fill in the blank: stunned-juice

The students answered like this:

A: Rack your brains.

B: chest out.

C: Put the juice on the shelf.

D: rack your brains.

Teacher's comment: I racked my brains and didn't write it.

Finishing: zhl20 16 12