Just collect a few jokes, hahahahahaha ~ ~ ~

1. Chatting with my boyfriend, when it comes to rising, my saliva splashed all over his face. Then instinctively wipe it off by hand. I was a little embarrassed, but I deliberately shifted my focus and pretended to be angry: "What? Don't like me, "he said with a gentleman's smile. "No, wipe it evenly!"

2. In the past, the school said that it was necessary to have a physical examination, and stool was used as a laboratory product, and then everyone took a little ~

And then what,

There is an alumnus in Chow Tai Fook's bag box.

Then I walked halfway ~ I was robbed by a motorcycle driver. . . . . .

3. Girlfriend has small breasts. We bury her every day. One day, she finally couldn't bear it anymore and shouted at us, "What about my small breasts? I will follow my dad! "

4. I took my family to swim on the beach in Jinshan today, mainly to play with the children in the sand.

In the process of piling sand, the lifeguard (commander) on the distant high platform shouted with a megaphone: Parents with children should pay attention, please take good care of their children, especially those with their own children and other people's wives, please don't leave them aside, I can see that!

5. In other words,

I have a female colleague,

My name is Li Rui,

There is a male colleague,

The name is Li. ...

6. In winter, I eat hot pot with my classmates. After eating, I'll come out first and wait for the students behind me. I pick my teeth according to the black glass of the off-road vehicle, and then apply lip balm ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I finished fixing my hair, the window rolled down and a group of people looked at me in the car. A macho man's face was close to mine and said, Little Sister, have you finished filming? We are driving!

7. When I first went to college, because our place was messy, some friends in the dormitory went to the market to buy knives and put them in the dormitory for self-defense. After buying it, I passed a bank, and someone happened to carry boxes of money to the cash truck after work. We didn't want the escort to misunderstand, so we asked a friend to hide the knife in his clothes. As a result, when I came to the escort with a gun, the boy fell to the ground. Later, we left silently, afraid to pick a knife. . .

Triboelectricity, a middle school physics teacher, said: We take off our sweaters in winter. The sweater creaked. And lightning. But not in summer. Why?

Boy in the back: Because I don't wear sweaters in summer.

9. Some buses in Hangzhou are high-end, so the glass is stuffy. It says: Break the glass in an emergency.

The temperature has risen these days, and the bus is hot, and there are many people on the bus. The most depressing thing is not knowing that the immoral guy put a silent fart in the car. . . Later, the glass broke. . .

On July 22, 2009, I met a buddy on a BBS and said, "xxx, the eclipse was in the daytime, which made me wait all night for nothing!" "

1 1. The last time I watched a CCTV program, I couldn't remember the name, but I remember that at the beginning, a reporter asked a person at the train station, "Are you happy?" Ask everyone, some people say happiness, some people say unhappiness, and then ask a farmer. .....

Reporter: "Are you happy?"

The farmer looked at the reporter a few times and said innocently

"My surname is Wang."

12. Once, I had dinner with my friends in a restaurant. We sat there waiting for the waiter to serve us. After a while, a beggar brought one.

A bowl came up to my friend's back and touched him gently, imagining that he wanted money. My friend was chatting with me, thinking that the waiter had brought the meal, so I didn't.

I turned and took the rice bowl from the beggar and put it in front of me. We were all stunned at that time, and the beggar wanted to cry more (kill him)

I didn't expect this, and there were people grabbing jobs) ~ ~ ~

13. When I was in college, one of my buddies met a beautiful woman on campus and fell in love at first sight. Every day, he is very emotional. When I went out to eat with him at noon one day, it was

The beauty happened to pass by, and my buddy immediately pulled me back and saw the beauty enter a noodle restaurant, and we also sat in it. I suggest

My buddy: "Senior three, hurry up ~" So he got up the courage, stepped forward, blushed and asked: "What's your name, classmate?" Nami

The woman looked at my buddy blankly: "My name is beef noodles." My buddy was confused at that time, and I was laughing.