Who has a joke or a short story? Can you tell me?

In the military training for freshmen, the instructor is assigning tasks: "One class kills chickens, the second class steals eggs, and I will cook porridge for you." "The students are very confused. Why don't they understand what he is saying? Later, a classmate saw the instructor's movements and realized that he had said,' One class will shoot, and the second class will bomb. I'll show you.'

At the bus terminal, there is a waiting car. The seats on the bus are full. At this time, a woman sitting in the middle door seat of the carriage got up and bought a ticket from the front door conductor. At the same time, a lesbian came through the middle door and sat down when she saw a vacancy. The woman who went to buy a ticket turned around and found that her seat was occupied by someone else. Suddenly, she raised her eyebrows and shouted, "It's quite fast to lay eggs." The female comrade sitting first shook her hand and suddenly saw the ticket in her hand. She suddenly seemed to understand something. As she got up and gave up her seat, she apologized: "I'm sorry to keep you from laying eggs."

Is it funny? Ha ha laugh