After the divorce, I don't have to cook for 18 people to clean up pots and pans for the New Year. Do women bear more burdens in marriage?

In my childhood impression, Chinese New Year is a very happy thing, which is probably the common memory of many children. There are lucky money to take, snow to play with, firecrackers to set off fireworks, delicious food and fun every day, and blatant staying up late. The family got together to push a cup for a change, and a year passed quietly. Often, before we have had enough fun, it's the day of school, and we're still looking forward to next year.

But my mother always says that what she hates most is Chinese New Year. When I was young, I didn't quite understand what my mother said. Later, when I was sensible, I really understood that the Chinese New Year is just a carnival for children, and it may be more difficult for adults, especially married women. My mother is a slow-witted person, and she is slow and not agile. The only thing she is good at is probably the pastry craft inherited from my grandmother.

My grandmother always said that she knew nothing about making pasta and would hardly help during the Chinese New Year. My mother is steaming steamed buns, and it takes only two days from preparation to completion.

One day cleaning up, one day preparing cooked food for the New Year, one day wrapping jiaozi's noodles and chopping stuffing, almost occupied all her holiday time years ago, and she could hardly be free for a moment.

Every day after that, she was busy cooking and cleaning up, waiting for the arrival of relatives at home, waiting for the arrival of marriage and children, elder sister-in-law, meals for more than a dozen people, all by herself. She won't be able to breathe a sigh of relief until all her relatives are gone and everything is finished, and then the holiday will soon be over.

When I was young, I gave her a hand at most, chatting with her to relieve boredom, so as not to be bored. She always tells me painfully that she would rather go to work than spend the New Year. This situation didn't get relieved until I grew up. At that time, my cooking was more exquisite than her, and I was more agile than her, so I could help her share most of it.

You see, for my mother, is the Chinese New Year a disaster? This situation is not a special case, but a Chinese New Year routine for most married women. My mother is still fine. My grandmother, father and I can still help her. We won't rush her or put pressure on her.

No matter what she does, my father and grandmother say yes, and my elder sister-in-law will not judge. At least my mother won't suffer, but some women are not so lucky. Zhu Qing has been married for seven years, and she has been married for love. Her husband's family conditions are average, but he can't afford a house. However, where Zhu Qing's husband's family lives, the ideas of the older generation are feudal and not very fashionable.

The house at home is big enough. Zhu Qing's husband is the only boy in the family, so the young couple in Zhu Qing have been living with their in-laws. From the first day she entered the door, her mother-in-law stopped asking questions. The size of the household chores at home, all by Zhu Qingan row, four adults' meals, a three-story building cleaning, regardless of her mother-in-law, all the power is delivered to Zhu Qing.

My mother-in-law didn't explain it deliberately, but from the first day of marriage, her mother-in-law silently stopped doing it. When it's time to cook, she goes out for a walk with her father-in-law and comes back on time when it's time to eat.

Even if her mother-in-law doesn't say anything, she still knows what her mother-in-law means. Zhu Qing is an honest woman, very virtuous. When she was a girl in her parents' house, she was a diligent person, and she could do well in helping her mother cook and clean up the housework. Now that she is married, she is not going to escape laziness. Since her mother-in-law gave her the burden of the family, she took it obediently. It is impossible to say that you are not happy at all. After all, you just got married, and your mother-in-law wants her new wife to work. Who can be happy with?

Zhu Qing's nature is the same, but the family education she came into contact with since childhood is that a woman has a woman's life and is not in her own hands. "What can I do? Isn't that what women do? It is your blessing to meet a good husband's family and be good to you. But if I don't treat you well, I can't get divorced without looking back, but I still have to muddle along. " She is really honest and doesn't know how to fight for more rights and interests for herself. Instead, she thought it was a very good thing that her mother-in-law didn't give her a fright. At the same time, she also felt that it was a very lucky thing for her that both sisters-in-law went out before she came in.

"I don't have to get along with menstruation under one roof, as long as my in-laws. My life has become much easier. " Zhu Qing's personality is inseparable from her mother, who is a submissive woman, and her father's sisters are not easy to get along with, and her grandmother never treats her mother as family.

Zhu Qing was used to her mother's cautious and trembling appearance at an early age, and her obedience and forbearance brought her peace at home and her own peace. It's not that she doesn't feel wronged in her mother's life, but that she grew up and became a mother gradually, even without knowing it.

She is forbearing and doesn't talk much, but this doesn't mean that she is timid, but her family values are too heavy and she doesn't want to destroy the harmony of the family. As long as it is a small matter, she can't resist it. She thinks that as long as the man loves her and values her, the two can live in harmony and be practical, even if they are wronged.

But gradually, she found that far marriage is actually an act with no future guarantee. She doesn't have her mother's family as a backer, and she is introverted, so it's really a disadvantage to be alone in her husband's family.

In-laws always do all the demands without saying a word, and they begin to think that she is honest and deceitful, disrespecting her more and more, and looking down on her more and more. Sometimes, good intentions don't always pay off. You are kind, others will think you are weak, you are honest, others will think you are stupid, you are tolerant, others will think you pretend, you don't refute, others will think you are not competitive.

This girl does things silently, without saying a word, and never shouts bitterness or tiredness. Her life and marriage should have had a better ending. It's a pity that she was almost lucky. She didn't meet a grateful and reasonable husband's family, and she was never treated well.

Xiao Yan and Xiao Yan often go home for dinner. Every time, Zhu Qing is very busy, busy for most of the day. Before she was served, her family had already eaten.

Zhu Qing helped to heat the dishes and stir them back and forth. By the time she could serve them, the dishes were almost finished. After dinner, the men patted their bottoms and left. The grandmothers and their mothers-in-law sat on the threshold in the sun, chewing melon seeds and chatting, tidying up the dishes, washing the pots and dishes, and were busy cleaning up the mess. This kind of thing often happens, and Zhu Qing didn't expect her sister-in-law to praise her a few words, but they were satiated with food and had to pick some thorns.

"Sister-in-law, I think the fish you cooked today is too salty, not as delicious as my mother's. You should practice more in the future. " "Yes, Xiaoqing, you are really not as agile as when your mother was in charge. This room is gray and dusty in many places. You are in charge now, but you can't be so lazy. People come to our house to see jokes. "

My mother-in-law didn't say yes or no, and there was some irony in her words: "She is still young and has a bad personality. She won't come to work, and she has no job in her eyes. I have to learn slowly, and when she has been doing it for decades, she will soon catch up with me. " Zhu Qing was speechless and mumbled something for a long time. Finally, as usual, he didn't say a word, and listened quietly.

For Zhu Qing, this situation is good, at least there are not many people, and it is okay to be ridiculed. After all, she has to go to work again, and her two aunts have to go to work, so they don't have to be busy with their in-laws all day. After a while, it would be nice if they left. Her real Good Friday is China New Year.

During the Chinese New Year, the aunts will come for several days in a row, with their husbands and children, and all kinds of seven aunts and eight aunts. Many times, old people and children have to have 189 people. Zhu Qing was busy the day before and the next morning, so he couldn't catch up at noon.

People received lucky money after eating. They all left when their purpose was achieved. Zhu Qing was left alone, worried about this dirty and shabby home. Women, often working hard is not their most wronged, not understood and not respected. Her husband gradually changed his attitude towards Zhu Qing and always gave orders to her like an uncle. What's more, he regarded Zhu Qing as private property, which restricted her freedom.

After seven years of marriage, Zhu Qing never went home for the Spring Festival, and neither her husband nor her mother-in-law allowed her to go home. She said that a woman who is away from home should spend the New Year at her in-laws' home. It is against the regulations to go back to her parents' home, on the one hand, to show her in-laws' authority over women, and on the other hand, because it is inconvenient to leave Zhu Qingshi, she has to leave home to cook and do odd jobs for the New Year.

Zhu Qing always has a good temper and doesn't care. Her homesickness and filial piety can't keep her silent, especially this year when I heard that my parents were in poor health and worried.

So without consulting her husband, she began to secretly grab the train ticket home online. Fortunately, she really caught it. Unfortunately, when her husband found out, he immediately rejected her and gave her a good scolding. "Why are you so selfish? You left. What should you do if you let a big family celebrate the New Year? What should you do if someone comes? My mother is too old to move. You left without saying anything. You were acting before acting. Do you think your husband's family is married? Do you take me seriously? Don't go! "

Zhu Qing looked at her husband helplessly and pleaded, "I only go back once this year, and this year is also very special. You know, my parents are in poor health. I am in a hurry. I promise I will discuss it with you next time, but I must go back this time. What can I do to promise me? " The husband simply ignored it and put down his cruel words: "Unless you divorce, you have to leave." The husband tried to scare her with this. He expected that Zhu Qing would not dare to divorce, he would be afraid and would listen to him. Who knows Zhu Qing was silent for a long time and agreed. "Ok, then divorce and leave now."

You can't take it back if you say it. This man thinks that Zhu Qing is cheating on him, too. Until the afternoon, Zhu Qing hurried to the printing room and took out the divorce papers. He signed it and dragged it to the Civil Affairs Bureau. At that moment, he really understood what was happening now. He was angry when he signed it. When he came out, he saw Zhu Qing's cross-eyed. He was trying to save it. When he was angry, he said nothing.

The next day, Zhu Qing packed his things and went home. She didn't bring anything except a person and some clothes. Even the pieces of jewelry that her husband bought for her when she got married were all left behind. It's too late to resign. She doesn't even want her monthly salary. She walked stubbornly and didn't give her ex-husband a chance to react. While sitting on the train, Zhu felt that he had been suspended for seven years and suddenly fell to the ground. She recalled the past and wrote a circle of friends.

"I am afraid that during the New Year, my sister-in-law and my mother-in-law are busy chatting, and a large family is waiting for me to cook. Really tired. But I'm not afraid this year. I am divorced. I feel so relaxed for the first time. Don't cook for the New Year 18 people clean up pots and pans. I am really happy this new year. " Zhu Qingfa's circle of friends meant to bid farewell to the past, but she left in a hurry. Although she blacked out her ex-husband and sister-in-law, before she could delete all the contact information of her ex-husband's relatives, she was seen and told her ex-husband.

Perhaps it was this message that made her ex-husband's conscience ache, stung his heart and made him really regret it. It didn't take long for Zhu Qing to send this message. Her ex-husband called to stay and begged her not to go. After listening to her ex-husband's pleading, Zhu Qing hung up the phone without saying a word, then took out her mobile phone card and smashed it into the trash can.

Many people are like this. If you get it, you don't cherish it. If you lose it, you don't give up. Even when you get it, when you destroy it or lose it, you will regret it. What's the point? Times have changed, and no one will stay where you are. A woman who is willing to do laundry and cook for you is also willing to be a big momma for you. Later, she didn't say a word to you, even if it was abusive, even if it was extreme words. Then she really gave up and was completely disappointed in you.

If your heart dies, you have no place in her heart. How could she turn back for a nobody? Do you think you haven't suffered enough? Do you feel that your life is not rough enough? The year is approaching, and I hope that all men will pay more attention. Most people who work hard in the new year are women. Their efforts are never taken for granted. Even if you can't help her, she needs your gratitude. A hug, a thank you, more company, don't let her bear everything alone.