Why is it so difficult to communicate with children? How can we communicate equally?

In the establishment of parent-child relationship, the most important way is communication. Many times, there will be various contradictions between parents and children, and the biggest reason for the problem is that there is a problem in communication between them.

Many parents always complain about why they find it difficult to communicate with their children. Children always have no way to understand their own ideas, nor can they understand their children's ideas. Sometimes when you talk, you will quarrel directly.

And when I carefully tell my children some life lessons, the children will not listen and go in one ear and out the other, which is irrelevant.

Parents may wish to think that there will be so many problems in communication with their children. In fact, it is very likely that there are some mistakes in their communication methods.

For example:

My friend's child has recently started to go to the third grade, which is a critical stage in his life because of the great pressure of entering a higher school. Friends all hope that their children can get good grades in the senior high school entrance examination and then be admitted to key high schools on the market.

However, it is still very difficult to rely on children's current grades, so they are very strict with their children every day, and they will be given an encouraging lesson regularly every week. In fact, it is to instill in children the benefits of going to a good high school in a university, and study hard to help them in their future work.

In such an environment, children are under great pressure to study. There are often some insomnia problems in the evening, and finally the pressure breaks out, and there is a weariness of learning.

Every time I hear a friend talk, I have a headache and cover my ears and don't want to listen. For such a situation, friends have also tried to communicate with children, but it has not played any role.

Because in the process of communication, friends have always put on the authority of their parents to preach to their children, and have never considered the problem from the perspective of children.

As for this way of communication and the problems arising from communication, I think many families will have the same troubles.

In fact, the biggest reason for the communication problem between parents and children is that parents don't know what equal communication is, and they always put themselves in a dominant position in the process of communicating with their children.

The whole communication process is that I have been talking to my child and turned a deaf ear to the views and ideas that my child wants to express.

So why can't many parents have a good effect when communicating with their children?

Parents pay too much attention to their authority.

This is also a typical feature of China's parents. The most outstanding performance is that when a child makes a mistake, he doesn't think or listen to the child to explain why he made a mistake. They just scold their children.

Because these parents feel that only by giving their children such a sense of authority will they listen to themselves and be smarter.

But I don't know, in the process of communication, if parents pay too much attention to self-authority, it will only lead to two consequences, which will make children choose to compromise, but they still don't accept it in their hearts, which will only deepen contradictions. The second will cause children's rebellious psychology and directly intensify contradictions.

In the process of communicating with children, the most important step is to put themselves and their children on the same level. What should parents do to communicate with their children on an equal footing?

1.

Parents should not be prejudiced against their children.

As children grow older, their self-awareness will also develop to a certain extent. They also want to express their thoughts and opinions. But in the eyes of parents, they always think that their children's ideas are naive, and all their views are incomplete and should not be accepted.

Therefore, when children want to express their ideas, they will be directly denied by their parents. In fact, the correct way for parents is that when children want to express their ideas, they should not be biased against them, but learn to listen to their ideas.

2.

Parents should not interrupt their children's expression.

Good communication is carried out on the premise that both sides are respected. When a child expresses his ideas, being interrupted by his parents because he disagrees with their opinions will only make him feel that he is not respected.

This is also a problem that many parents will have. When children's ideas are very different from their own, parents will get angry, which will directly block children's expression.

Because parents always try their best to instill their ideas into their children, this practice of directly interrupting the expression of children's ideas is also making the communication between parents and children fall into a dead end.

3.

Parents should give their children some encouragement and affirmation.

Only when children feel that their ideas have been affirmed by others will they have more desire to talk. Many parents are always complaining that after their children reach puberty, they are increasingly reluctant to talk to themselves about some troubles in their lives.

A lot of words are in my heart, but I might as well think about whether some educational behaviors of parents have blocked this expression of children. In fact, many times children's ideas are not mature enough, but some aspects are also remarkable.

Parents should not just criticize their children's immature and relatively naive ideas, but should give more affirmation.

This kind of affirmation will make children more willing to express themselves bravely. Only in this way can children and parents communicate at the same level, and communication can achieve its real role.

In the establishment of parent-child relationship, communication is very important in the process of children's growth, so if there is good communication, what impact will it have on children?

1. Help parents to better observe their children's emotions.

This is something that many parents really want to do, because parents want to know about their children, but children like to hide their emotions in their hearts, and they can talk to their friends without telling their parents or even many problems, only parents will not know.

But if parents and children can have a good communication relationship, then children will be more willing to talk to their parents about these emotions in life. This kind of conversation can help parents better observe their children's emotions and feelings.

2. It is conducive to establishing a good parent-child relationship.

When children reach a certain age, they have many ideas and many behaviors will change to a certain extent, especially in junior high school and senior high school. After facing the pressure of entering a higher school and psychological pressure, children are likely to have a rebellious period of youth.

At this time, their most prominent feature is that their parents can do whatever they want. Such rebellious mentality will also make the contradiction between children and parents more and more acute. Even the frequent occurrence of family atmosphere such as the Cold War is not conducive to the growth of children and the maintenance and cultivation of relationships.