Are there any poems or jokes about National Day?

Zaka often makes trouble after drinking, so he has filed many lawsuits. That day, he drunk driving again, killed a pig, knocked down a wall and was taken to court.

The judge said with an expression, "Every time he comes, it's because of alcohol! You know, drinking is harmful! You got here because of alcohol! "

Hearing this, Zaka happily replied: "Thank you for your guidance! People say that I am the bad guy who caused the accident. Only you pointed out the real murderer! "

The moon or the sun

Peide likes drinking. Once, he traveled to a strange city and came out of the hotel at night, drunk and staggered.

Just as he was standing in the middle of the road, there came another drunkard opposite, obviously drinking more than Peide. He seemed to see something strange in the sky and asked Peide:

"I'm sorry Is it the moon or the sun? "

Peide raised his head, then shook his head and said, "I'm sorry! I don't know. I'm not from here. "

Help look after the house.

Charles was so drunk that he didn't come home until late at night. He took out the key, but he couldn't lock the door. When the policeman on patrol saw this, he hurried forward and asked, "Do you need help?"

Charles was overjoyed and quickly said, "Please help me hold this house steady and don't let it shake."

be in a dilemma

Ruth: "Since you and your boyfriend are so close, why don't you get married?"

Mary: "well, I don't want to marry him when he is drunk;" He is sober, but he doesn't want to get married.

Drunk driving

A drunk got on the bus with many gifts. He grabbed the handrail of the car desperately to prevent falling. The conductor asked, "Do you need any help?"

The drunk replied, "Please, please hold the handrail for me and I'll pay for the ticket."

How many cups?

A newly appointed officer attended the banquet of the whole regiment for the first time. In order to avoid him drinking too much, in the middle of the banquet, the commander pointed to the middle of the table and said:

"Young man, do you see these four cups on the table? When you think it is eight, you will drink to the limit. "

"But sir," replied the police officer, "there are obviously only two cups here!"

I'm loaded. Do something.

Some friends drank outside all night, and then came home drunk. One of them muttered, "What shall we do? Go home at this time, my wife will kill me! "

The other said; "Nonsense! Learn my way! When I get home, I take off my clothes downstairs, pick them up quietly, and then climb into the bedroom without saying a word to make sure I'm okay. "

The next day, they had lunch together again. The first one said, "Your suggestion really hurts me!" " His friend asked, "What does this mean?"

"Well, I did exactly as you said-I stripped off my clothes downstairs, folded my clothes and climbed the ladder silently-boy, there is the platform of the railway station!"

Drink and chat

Two Irish people are sitting in a bar drinking. One of them asked the other, "Where are you from?"

The other replied, "I am here now, Dublin, but I was born in Cork."

"Are you kidding? I was born in Cork and now I am in Dublin. Let's have another drink! Where were you born in Cork? "

The other replied, "I was born in my mother's house, and there is a small river flowing south from Sac village in front of my door."

"God bless" the first man shouted, "Can you believe it? I was born in my mother's house, not far from sacks village. For our intimacy, come, let's have another drink. Then which school do you go to? "

"I go to the suffering school in the town," another replied.

At this time, the first person was too excited to help himself. He shouted, "God, this is incredible. I also went to that school. The world is really too small. Boss, give each of us another drink. "

At this moment, the phone in the bar rang, and the boss answered the phone: "Crane. Oh, there's nothing new tonight, except that the O 'Hara twins drank too much again. "

Which direction to go?

Klaus hobbled out of the hotel drunk. "Good heavens," shouted Salz, a friend standing at the door. "You're wearing your hat backwards!"

"How to wear it backwards?" Klaus retorted, "You have no idea which direction I want to go!"

For another purpose.

"Mr. Green, I simply don't understand." The doctor said discontentedly, "You always ask me to prescribe sleeping pills for you, but why do you always stay in the bar until late at night every day?"

"You don't understand this. This medicine is not for me, but for my wife. "

"get half drunk"

A: "You only drink two glasses of white wine every night. Why did you ask for four cups today? "

B: "I think two cups is enough, but my wife is still not satisfied."

A: "Why is she not satisfied?"

B: Every day when I come home, she always complains, "Damn it, I'm half drunk again!" " "

Who's driving?

Two people who had drunk were driving wildly in the car.

A: "Be careful! There is a sharp turn ahead. "

B: "What? Aren't you driving? "