Are there any jokes about air conditioning?

The supermarket guide sold me a kind of chocolate. I asked how much is a box of 400 grams? Tease 80. The shopping guide girl answered.

Are you kidding? It's so expensive. I blurted out, hurriedly gave a hand.

Before I went far, I heard her say to a colleague on the side: I'm kidding. My life changed when I heard that the price was high. land

Mother mosquito: teasing the child, what's wrong with you? Look at the little mosquito crying and saying, Doby flies today. They bullied me and called me a bloodthirsty vampire. Mother Earth Mosquito: Don't tease it. Their home is not a good thing either. They all grew up eating shit.

A tramp was stopped by a robber while walking at night. The robber shook his head and shouted, it's killing me to tease you for money. land

The tramp thought, I can't support myself. Why do I need another life? I might as well ask for some money, so he said to the robber, teasing or asking for money. land

When the wife was cleaning the room, she found a photo of her husband and a strange woman and asked her husband what was going on. The husband said disapprovingly, I'm sorry, this is a photo taken with my girlfriend five years ago, and I have already broken up with her. land

The wife said loudly, I want to know if the sweater I knitted for you last year was worn five years ago.

One day, Xiaoming took tomatoes, watermelons and strawberries to the streets. At the crossroads, tomatoes were run over by a car. Xiao Ming said: funny, hahaha! Tomato sauce! Slowly came to another intersection, and the watermelon was hit. Xiao Ming said, are you kidding! Watermelon juice! Slowly at the third intersection, Xiao Ming was run over by a car. Strawberry said, funny, hahaha! Scum! land

I came home late at the weekend, and as soon as I entered the door, my wife questioned me: Why not go home at seven o'clock to see the land?

I said: I attended a press conference this afternoon. My wife rummaged through my bag and said, what cloth is that? Listen, I'm trying to make a pair of pants. land

A couple love each other very much.

W: What do you want to see now?

As you can imagine.

The woman immediately slapped the man and scolded him: you rascal!

Wal-Mart's perch costs 9 yuan a catty, and when it dies, it costs 7 yuan and two pieces of ice, just as fresh. A brother rushed to buy it after work, but it was often bought. One brother stood in front of the fish tank and waited, sometimes one died for a long time.

A brother fished it in with a net and hit the fish on the head with his hand.

The waiter couldn't stand it anymore. He came over to his brother and said, Mr. Doby, those who passed out don't count. ...

A farmer went to a car sales center and saw him take out 2000 yuan and pat it on the table: tease me to get a Santana. The clerk was shocked: the money is not enough to tease you! The local farmers don't understand: Isn't Santana 2000 written outside? Look at the clerk: funny … then go out and turn right, the Mercedes-Benz of that company is only 600! land

Two Beijingers meet.

Let your name look at this land.

I dare not say, lest you eat it. land

Make the teacher look after the land.

That's not interesting land.

Let me see this land.

It is wrong to be funny. land

What's your last name? Look at this land.

Tease history. land

When I went to take a shower, people around me asked me: How old are you? Look at a dozen.

I was glad to say that I was 27 years old.

She was frightened: I don't like it!

Looked me up and down several times, and he said, your chest hasn't developed well, so why are you 27!

These days, ordinary people are worried about housing, developers are worried about selling houses, entrepreneurs are worried about accounting offices, producers are worried about box office, officials are worried about their second houses and corrupt class houses, men are worried about private houses, women are worried about breasts, the elderly are worried about renting houses at work, hospitals are worried about wards, delivery rooms and wedding rooms, and ordinary people are worried about demolition houses. Hey! Sex is really depressing!

Men like golf because the scenery of each hole is different, even the same hole has different ways to enter the water; Women like golf because every stroke feels different, even if the strength and angle of the same stroke are different, it feels different!

Some interesting portraits:

When no one fought for his interests, he put up with it.

He watched someone fight for his interests.

Someone gave him benefits, and he said, I deserve it.

When someone failed to fight for his interests, he said, it's no use teasing me, but he still doesn't believe me.

When someone fought for his interests and was persecuted, he said, make fun of him, and this day will come sooner or later.

There are more and more smart people now!

Ren Lei's course record:

The patient is conscious, in good mental state, able to eat and drink, and the knife edge is growing gratifying.

Today, the weather is warm. I went on a tour with the director. The director asked the patient how he was, and the patient said he was fine. The director smiled, and so did the patient. ...

The director braved the heavy snow and walked into the ward, holding the patient's hand tightly and asking, Lao Wang, do you feel better today?

The director made rounds and said nothing today!

Differences in academic qualifications

How to cook braised pork?

Undergraduate students said to put the meat in the pot and add something to cook;

Graduate students say this is not enough, how much meat, how much other spices, how to cook, how long to cook;

After a month, the doctor published a book called "How to Cook Braised Pork", opened the catalogue and teased the first chapter about how to raise pigs.

1. Chess tells you that everything is to keep handsome.

2. Mahjong tells you that everything you do is only for your own success.

Go tells you that everything is either one or the other, and anything is possible.

4. Military chess tells you that the official level can really crush people.

Beijing opera tells you that all roles have been solidified, from division of labor to manners.

In life, there are many fleeting moments, such as saying goodbye at the station, just hugging each other, and in the blink of an eye, it's gone. Most of the time, you don't understand, and neither do I. That's it. When you talk, you change. Listening is tiring. I'm tired of watching it. You will slow down when you follow. When you walk, you spread out. When you love, you fade. I forget it when I think about it.

Each of us is like a clown, playing with five balls, which are your work, health, family, friends and soul. Only one of these five balls is made of rubber, which will rebound when it falls, and that is work. The other four balls are all made of glass. If they fall to the ground, they will break.

When we were young, we cried and laughed. When we grew up, we laughed and cried. . .

Remember never to leave anything behind when you go out, just to tease me to ask for money (extension: ID card, hand: mobile phone, key, money: wallet).

My name has appeared in the newspaper countless times. The first article I wrote was published in the newspaper. Others exposed my plagiarism because of Fang.

The deceased is like a husband, and he doesn't give up day and night ... A classmate translated: The man who died seems to be my husband, and he looks like it all day long.

You know the earthquake, tsunami, nuclear pollution, salt reserves, national quality, the situation in Libya, the interests of the United States, Britain and France, air strikes and wars. This proves that you are knowledgeable and occupy an important position, and you are actually your brother!

I just changed to high-definition satellite TV, which is awesome, but it's different. I've never seen funny characters without satellite signals so clearly.

I often hear that some people can't live without money, but I've never heard of anyone who can't live without people.

Cui Yongyuan said that telling the truth has three elements: courage, knowledge and rabies vaccine.

If you want to learn sex education well, you have to be like a chemistry class. . . . Do more experiments

The leader inspected Jiangyin Wool Textile Factory and asked the director with concern: Are the raw materials easy to handle?

I have never been a thief, but I want to steal a happiness for you! I haven't lied to anyone, but I want to lie to you about happiness! Never hurt anyone, but I want to give you a happy turn! I have never depended on anyone, but I want to deprive you of peace! Happy May Day!

There is a saint named Joan of Arc in France. It is a fact that there are many leftover women in China.