Narcissistic funny sentences

I want to be a man and marry a good woman like me in my next life!

2) I am handsome, with fine eyes, well-proportioned figure and star temperament. I have passed the international ISO handsome boy system certification for the first time and have some tips; Signboard beauty deserves attention.

3) From now on, I hope I can become ugly slowly, otherwise I will be molested by erotic fanatics. I'm scared.

4) I don't want to say that I am handsome, because I don't want to say the same thing with people all over the world!

5) The Party needs me to be handsome. Can I not be handsome?

6) The mountain has no edges, and heaven and earth are in harmony, so you dare not be brave.

7) Handsome enough to disturb the CPC Central Committee, even Chairman Mao praised me for being handsome.

8) Once I walked down the street, a group of beautiful women stopped me and asked me: Are you handsome? I said, I am not handsome. The response was five burning finger prints, and then they came up to hit me together, calling me hypocritical while hitting me.

9) The second time I walked into the street, another group of beautiful women stopped me and asked me: Are you handsome? I remember last class, nodding and saying, I am handsome. They hit me again and said I was too modest.

10) Walking down the street for the third time, another group of beautiful women surrounded me and asked me: Are you handsome? Recalling my last two ebbs, I didn't respond. I leaned forward and just wanted to leave. Unexpectedly, they threw their handbags at me crazily, and the girl who hit me the hardest even swore, damn it, are you so handsome?

Complete works of narcissistic funny sentences

1) I heard that ugly people should read more books. No wonder my mother said that I was not cut out for reading when I was young.

2) I treat you as a friend, but you treat me as a goddess.

3) hey. Why haven't I seen anyone more handsome than me?

4) Everyone says that making more friends with beautiful people will make you look good. No wonder you find that your friends are getting better and better.

5) You should find someone who can make you laugh, not me who makes you cry.

6) Don't push me, or I will become great and out of control.

7) I have been worried about one thing: how can others live without me in the world? Oh, I'm really angry.

8) If you are jealous, don't give up. If you are envious, please continue. Today is a good day to go out and release your handsomeness.

9) People who are super funny and have a good temper are really impeccable, such as me.

10) Every day I set a new world record, that is, I keep the most handsome record in the world.

1 1) It's not my fault that you are handsome, it's your own problem that you like me.

12) Handsome is providence, and cool is man-made.

13) handsome enough to alarm the local authorities, who reported to the central emergency consultation and awarded the most handsome medal!

14) People who pretend to be B will be beaten and are not used to it!

15) I'm not in the city, please don't walk around me!

16) Don't just set up a stall in my sister's heart, and then I'll call it a pass!

17) people are not bad, but they are handsome and have no shortcomings!

18) When you meet me, you will find others so handsome!

19) cut the wire with a kitchen knife, sparking all the way!

20) The mood of going to school is heavier than going to the grave!

2 1) a three-sentence suicide note, with a little soil missing. It's stressful. It's gone.

22) Don't cry at my grave, it will dirty my path of reincarnation!

23) If I become a personnel manager, the first thing I will do is to promote myself to the boss!

24) Don't press the video when coming up. You think your TV, if you press it, people will go out. If you need me, if you don't need me.

25) Don't challenge my sister's skill with the speed at which you throw the video!

26) I am pure fiction. If I see it on the internet, this is pure hell!

27) Friendly reminder: The user signature is too personalized, and the system has automatically blocked it.

28) No matter how personalized the signature is, it can't show the sadness in my heart!

29) Brain cells began to rebel and get out of control.

30) A girl who knows me once said to me: If there are only ten minutes left in the world, I will recall your handsome appearance with you; If there are only three minutes left in the world, you have to show me your most handsome and handsome demeanor again; If there is only one minute left in the world, I will tell you once-you are so handsome.

3 1) Every morning, there is another girl standing at the door of the classroom, looking at me blankly and whispering: There is no desert in the world, but every time I see your handsome appearance, a grain of sand will fall from the sky, and there will be Sahara from now on. It's the same sentence every day. One day, I was really bored and asked without interest: How did other deserts come from? Oh, that's because there are too many girls who think you are handsome. ......

32) If being handsome is a crime, then I have committed a heinous crime; If it is a mistake to be cool, then I have made mistakes again and again; If you are smart, you will be punished. Then I'll be chopped to pieces.

33) I want to commit suicide because I am too handsome, but all the girls beg me: you are really handsome, and it is your courage to live. It's not your intention to be handsome, but God depends on how beautiful you are in this world.

34) Idealism says: You are handsome when I say you are handsome. Materialism says: because you are handsome, I say you are handsome. In a word-I am handsome.

35) The sign of an ugly man is that he is willing to die bravely for his ugliness, and the sign of a handsome man is that he is willing to live humbly for his handsomeness, so I am still living for my handsomeness.

36) Handsome to slow down the network speed.

37) One day, the star asked me out to play. Suddenly, a tiger appeared in the Woods. Instead of chasing others, the tiger chased Andy Lau. When Andy Lau disappeared, the tiger turned around and saw that I was handsome and cool, so he pushed me forward and laughed. Don't think I don't know you because you are handsome?

CoCo Lee chased me for three blocks. After seeing me yesterday, he immediately announced that he would quit the show business in June. ! If nothing else, it's because I'm so handsome. ......

40) Don't be infatuated with me, I'm just a legend. I planted girlfriends in spring and harvested a bunch of men in autumn.

Narcissism. Tell me about funny and narcissism.

1, love is not as good as narcissism, love life and love yourself.

2. The external manifestation of selfishness is to love to say that others are selfish.

Everyone will be hurt when growing up. We have just set sail and must learn to be strong.

4, now I, you love to ignore. Remember. In the future, you can't afford me.

5. hey Why haven't I seen anyone more handsome than me?

6. You are so handsome that you can't get away with it, and I'm so ugly.

7. Dear yourself, don't cling to memories. A broken kite can only let it fly, let it go and let itself go. Dear yourself, you must find something besides love that can make you stand firm on the earth with your feet; Dear yourself, you should be confident, even narcissistic, and always remind yourself that I deserve the best.

8. If you are jealous, don't give up. If you are envious, please continue. Today's weather is very good, and it is a good day to go out and release handsome.

9. What do you like about me that I can change?

10, never talk about your ex-girlfriend with your wife. It is a lie to say that you are not angry!

Some people are alive, but they are dead. Some people are still alive, and he should have died!

12, walking on a lost road. Watching time turn, I can't see the sun.

13, the difference between you and me is probably that when playing hide and seek, I will worry if I can't find you. If you can't find me, you will go home.

14, crying in real pain. Not too much emotion. But expressionless left a bitter tear.

15, I hope that when the countdown reaches zero, the Monkey King calls me old.

16, good-looking people take a photo, and ugly people can only make expression packs.

17, don't think that I am unattainable because I am handsome. Actually, I am a sea of rivers.

18, the light rail said not to carry inflammable and explosive articles. Someone got off the bus decisively because he was ugly.

19, I don't expect to meet the right person, I just hope to meet the right person.

20. Q: What are the common characteristics of narcissists? (update facebook frequently? Constantly seeking the attention of others? People who are extremely narcissistic have some common characteristics, such as constantly talking about themselves and exaggerating their achievements, but lacking empathy and care for others, exaggerating themselves in public, such as being naked and sexy on the Internet, showing off muscles, or constantly talking about themselves.

2 1, for yourself, cherish yourself but not narcissism; For others, demanding but not demanding; Invest in feelings, but not infatuated; Feel life, but don't sigh; Desire for achievement, but don't expect it; For the family, attachment but not infatuation; For friendship, yearning but not longing; For money, I hope but not covet; Sharing wealth, but not exclusive; Believe in faith, but not superstition; For life, no regrets but no regrets.

22. Narcissists are cute. Because of narcissism, they know love better.

23. Every excellent person has a period of silence. During that time, I made a lot of efforts, endured loneliness and loneliness, and didn't complain. Even I can be moved when I talk about this matter in the future.

It's not my fault that I'm handsome It is your own problem that you like me.

25. I am neither good nor bad. I'm not particularly outstanding. I just dare to be different.

26. Don't be infatuated with brother, brother is just a legend.

27. A man and a woman are talking. M: I have someone I like. Woman: She must be beautiful. Man: Why are you so narcissistic?

28. If one day, I'm not so simple, please remember that it's not that I'm bad, but that I'm hurt by bad people.

29. I wander between unrestrained self-appreciation and narcissism.

30. My progress made him sit up and take notice. Since then, he has been blind.

3 1, it is said that ugly people should read more books. No wonder my mother said that I was not cut out for reading since I was a child.

32. Q: Do you think narcissism will become an increasingly serious problem in the 2 1 century?

33. The sun is not the sun this winter. It's obviously the light in the refrigerator.

34. Go straight to the red line and stop. The leaves in the flowers won't touch your body.

Please God give me a brain that can understand math and physics. I am willing to exchange the beauty of my deskmate.

36, even my exam questions are like this:

37. People want faces, trees want skins, and telephone poles want cement.

38. Getting up with a quilt in winter, doing exercises in the morning, taking a bath and turning off the water are called three desperate moments in life.

39. Those who pretend to be B are not used to it!

40. It is God's creativity that created you and your courage to live in this world.

4 1, whose space problem is who I love most. I typed my name narcissistically, but I got the wrong answer.

42. Every day I set a new world record, that is, I keep the most handsome record in the world.

43. A well-proportioned tree is better than Pan An, and a pear flower is better than Haitang.

44. Think others speak ill of themselves out of jealousy.

45, unrequited love is a courtesy, narcissism is a pride, love is a style, not love is a taste.

46. A fallen star can't dim the brilliance of the starry sky, and a flower can't desert the whole spring.

47. The world is always the same, but our moods and experiences are different.

48. Q: Can narcissistic personality be "cured"?

49. Finally, the court announced that it is not your fault to be handsome, but your fault to be so handsome. Ah, I was sentenced to several years for being handsome. This is outrageous,

50. You said you loved me, and you were happy all day. If one day, you say you don't love me, maybe I will be sad all my life!

5 1, I have advanced narcissistic cancer, and there is no cure.

52. There is a sadness that this math problem is beyond my Chinese understanding.

53. A person's longest love history is probably narcissism.

54. I am just like this, and I am destined to be different from you. Thank you for your disagreement. My style is limited edition.

55. I especially admire those real men who are indifferent to other girls but are obsessed with their daughter-in-law.

56. Just like raindrops that wash away mountains and devour tigers, ants light up the stars of the earth and build slaves of pyramids. I want to build my own castle brick by brick.

57. Q: What should you do if you fall in love with a narcissist and are deeply frustrated?

58. I am handsome, with regular facial features, well-proportioned figure and star temperament. I passed the first batch of international iso900 1 Handsome guy system certification, with tips; Signboard beauty deserves attention.

59. You said my appearance was fake, and so was the money I gave you. I'm telling you, I can tolerate that your money is fake, but I can't tolerate that there is something wrong with my appearance.

60. When you meet me, you will find that someone is still so handsome!

6 1, Q: What harm will narcissistic behavior bring to work?

62. One game, one rule. Can afford to play, continue; Can't afford to play, out.

63. The happiest person is the happiest person. He who laughs often is the happiest.

64. It is said that if you play Weibo for a long time, you will talk like this. Damn it, you have a sister! Honey, rotten women are not awesome! The cat took a piss and shit! Honey, you are really unbearable. You cheat paper! Honey, wet is lewd. Holy shit! Honey, what's that swelling? An otaku can't afford to hurt himself, honey, you know! Nima envied and hated her relatives and laughed at me!

65. There is still a long way to go. You may cry, but you must persist!

Every time the chemistry teacher does an experiment. I said a word in my heart: Fried!

67. There is a kind of crash called password input error, a kind of panic called account logging in from different places, a kind of feeling called invisibility, a kind of misunderstanding called offline and a kind of loss that you don't have access rights.

No one urged me to sleep, and no one said good night to me. What about you?

69. I want to be a man and marry a good woman like me in my next life!

70. I am not very strong, and I have never had the habit of showing weakness.

7 1, I choose to give up you, because I love you so much that I am lost in love.

72. Children speak recklessly. What I blurted out was an unthought story, and what I outlined was a flawed but affectionate ID. Say other people's narcissistic sentences.

73. Don't press the video until it comes up. You think your TV, if you press it, people will go out. Call me if you need anything, and call me if you don't need anything.

74. Q: Is narcissism bad for intimacy?

75. Passing by is fate, and staying is destiny takes a hand. For yourself, cherish yourself but not narcissism; For others, demanding but not demanding; Invest in feelings, but not infatuated; Feel life, but don't sigh; Desire for achievement, but don't expect it; For the family, attachment but not infatuation; For friendship, yearning but not longing; For money, I hope but not covet; For life, no regrets but no regrets; Love life, but don't spoil it.

76. Hey, why haven't you seen anyone more handsome than me?

77. Five hundred years ago, you leveled the Tiangong alone, and now 65.438+0.4 billion people leveled CCTV for you.

78. The last time a girl asked me, how many beautiful girls have you chased since you grew up? Did I tell her? A friend of mine told the girl the truth. Usually beautiful women chase him, and that girl fainted at that time.

79. Good night without a warm reply.

80. In order to gain recognition and attention, children become acting.

8 1, the party needs me to be handsome, and I have to be handsome. The task of overtaking the United States and Britain is very arduous. I want to contribute my face to the four modernizations of the motherland and the development and progress of the old areas.

Dear yourself, today is your birthday. Happy birthday. Self-confidence and even narcissism, always remind yourself that I deserve the best.

83. The longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. I love myself and have no rival in love. Anthony

84. When you are sad. I wish I could be by your side. Try to make you laugh.

85. When I paid the phone bill, I found my words so valuable.

86, love into their own space, not narcissism, but want to see what is the latest.

87. When I grow up, I learn to smile, learn to be strong and learn not to cry for anyone.

88. The advantage of flat chest is that two people embrace heart to heart more closely.

89. M: I like a girl. Woman: She must be beautiful. Man: You are too narcissistic.

90. Narcissism is to be a man in the next life and marry a wife like me!

9 1, learn to be a tough bitch, without affectation, hairlessness, cowardice, pride and life.

92. The longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. I love myself and have no rival in love.

93. I like a grateful woman who travels alone. Know how to thank your parents, but don't follow blindly; Know how to thank heaven and earth, but not narcissism; Know how to thank your friends, but don't rely on them; I know to thank every seed, every breeze, and I know to get up early to sow and walk against the wind. -Bi Shumin is the woman I like.

94. A: I don't have to do it, but I have done it now.

95, a man, handsome enough to disturb the local, local report to the central, the central emergency consultation, awarded the most handsome medal!

96. 10 Great Realm of Life ① Conscious but not narcissistic; 2 for others, demanding but not demanding; 3 for feelings, affectionate but not infatuated; 4. Feel life, but don't sigh; ⑤ Desire for achievement, but no expectation; 6. Attachment to family but not infatuation with family; 7 yearning for friendship, but not longing; 8 for money, hope but don't try; Pet-name ruby for wealth, sharing but not exclusive; Attending life, no regrets.

97. If you are jealous, don't give up. If you are envious, please continue.

98. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first. Say other people's narcissistic sentences.

99, the perfect boyfriend: handsome, rich, generous, temperament, self-restraint, no hooking up, no drinking, no smoking, no cheating, no existence.

100, don't push me. 10, I don't want to say that I am handsome, because I don't want to say the same thing as people all over the world!

Narcissistic funny quotations

1, for the sake of the next generation of the motherland, fall in love no matter how ugly, and talk about a world full of love.

2. My sister said: Simple people are stupid. Think about it: no wonder I'm not simple,

3. I am not a lady. Why? I hate it when girls eat a jiaozi and divide it into dozens, so I just take one bite.

Happiness is that you can sleep for half an hour when you wake up and look at the clock. 〃

God: I sincerely hope that all lovers can drown and everyone who flies with me can fall to death-Amen.

6. Life is like an angry bird. There are always a few pigs laughing when they fail.

7, the exam does not turn over the book, it is simply a pig, don't panic if you do fake, you must install it when you catch it.

In the present weather, instant noodles can be directly soaked in tap water. ※

9. Since all otaku call themselves Madame Curie, the otaku is called Picasso.

10, I just want to turn gracefully, but I accidentally hit the wall.

1 1, after this village, there is this store; Because there are branches here.

12, I think at the beginning, I stamped my foot in the morgue: stand up if you disagree! Nobody dares to gasp ~ ~

13, thin in summer, mosquitoes everywhere, a kiss and a red mark, dare to take off makeup.

14, hee hee and haha are brothers. One day, haha died. Hee hee went to the funeral and said something shocking: haha, you are dead.

15, Lao Tzu said: narcissism+brain damage = self-mutilation.

16, only 10086, who cares about me when I have no money, sends me short messages every day and never refuses to call him. .......

17, don't despise me yet. I'll give you a number plate, wait in line first, and then despise you when it's your time.

18, did you turn around at LV? Not because you are wearing a famous brand! But seeing you in donkey skin! LV= donkey

Please put away your insincerity and roll towards the sun.

20. Love is like poop. Once the water is washed away, it will never come back ~ ~ Love is like poop, ~ Love is like poop, and sometimes it's just a fart after a long effort!

2 1, man, you must live well to be worthy of your old-age insurance ~ ~

After 22 and 90, I went to primary school in the face of SARS, junior high school in the face of bird flu and senior high school in the face of swine flu. Now that I'm out of society, everyone says that 20xx is the end of the world.

23. People say I am white. I just put flour on my body

24. buying a blade is not expensive. Marry a daughter-in-law, night rose, mistress and fox sister, and have a son, the Flying Tigers.

The only difference between Superman and me is that he likes red underwear and I like pink underwear.

26. I am 23 years old, handsome and sober. I studied literature at the age of seven, practiced martial arts at the age of nine, and picked up girls at the age of 12. He knows everything about astronomy and geography above, but little about it below. Every time he goes out for a walk, he often comes back with a beautiful woman and a handsome guy jumps off a building. He is kind-hearted and helpful. In primary school, the Chinese teacher explained the meaning of handsome boy, which puzzled me. My deskmate secretly handed me a small mirror. I took a picture. Oh, I suddenly understand. . .

27. It is said that when I was born, there was a piece of auspicious cloud in the northern sky, which gradually floated to my roof from far and near and became a word: handsome.

28. After seeing me, my father cried at the top of his lungs for a month and a half. He killed me and didn't believe that I was a child of his chromosome inheritance. He took a kitchen knife and rushed to my mother's bed several times, waving it to cut me into pieces. My mother used her death to protect me and let me live.

29. Grandpa has been suffering from glaucoma for more than ten years. I couldn't tell whether it was a man or a dog a meter away, but when I appeared in front of him, the old man was in tears and looked at himself. From then on, he said that he didn't want to see anyone again, so as to avoid endless troubles.

30. Later, in order to prove her innocence, the mother dragged her father to the hospital for paternity test. The doctor lifted the quilt, only looked at it and cried. He wiped his nose and said, go home. This is not your son, nobody. Humans can't give birth to such a handsome child. ......

3 1, a student nurse passed by and saw that I was still a baby. She immediately found a box of red inkpad, printed my fingerprints, spread her hair out at once, and muttered to me: long hair is for you, and I won't lose it if I don't marry you in my life. I will tidy up the ancient Buddha and tidy up my boudoir. ......

32. My mother hurried out and trotted all the way. She accidentally met an old lady waiting to have a baby in the obstetrics and gynecology department next door. The old lady took her mother and said kindly, son, what's the hurry? What's the matter with you? Don't hit the child. ......

33. My mother was so angry with her that she pulled the quilt away. As soon as the old lady saw me, she followed me like crazy. She burst into tears, fell to the ground, shook her head and screamed: I was born 50 years earlier! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Lightning mom ......

34. When I was fifteen, I was afraid to go to school. I dare not go to kindergarten for half a day. The children in kindergarten are crazy, and my face is swollen into watermelon by the little girl's kiss. My aunts beat up the children, if nothing else, just because they were born in the same year as me and the military and police were not there, it was enough to calm down the X storm.

35. There are people fishing in front of my house all the year round, and they never return empty-handed. The most interesting thing is that our home is 0/00 km away from the sea/kloc-,but they often catch tuna in the small stinking ditch in front of the door and look for turtle eggs behind the haystack. Later, after investigation, it turned out that there were countless women crying in front of my house all the year round. The composition of tears was rich in amino acids and protein, which was very suitable for tuna survival and turtle spawning. Over the years, those women's tears have gathered into a small beach. By the time I was fifteen, the beach was full of prosperity; By the time I was eighteen, the beach had developed so fast that it was called Hawaii.

36. Once I was really bored and sneaked out of the house at night. If I see a female animal, I'm going to run away. Who knows that after I went out, I didn't catch up except for a scream. I looked back carefully and they all fainted on the beach. ......

Narcissistic and interesting to talk about it.

1. I want people all over the world to know that I keep a low profile.

When I heard the teacher say that he would start the fine again, I knew that he had spent all his salary.

Comrades have not worked hard, and the revolution will still succeed.

4. People who are too rational will definitely miss the opportunity to go astray and miss the beautiful scenery along the way brought by mistakes.

I am relieved to know that you are not doing well.

6. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but that I am invisible. You are online, you are online, and I am invisible.

7. People say I'm thin, but I'm not obviously fat.

8. Who will marry me in the future: I don't know who you are dating now.

9. I am proud of being single. I save rubber for my motherland. I am single. I'm ashamed. I waste paper for my country.

10. I am single. I'm ashamed. I waste paper for my country.

1 1. You are calm because you are not afraid. I am calmer than you, because I am not afraid of your death.

12. The wife said: Let's compare who is handsome between these two fish. Handsome is tomorrow's dish.

13. Those who always say that others are pretending to be forced, you are not even pretending to be forced.

14. The most painful thing in the world is not the parting of life and death, but the exam is coming. Others are reviewing, and I am previewing.

15. Your smile is brighter than shit in the sun.

16. If two people are together for a long time, gazing at each other is also a romantic thing.

17. My love for you is as vigorous as a tractor climbing a hill.

18. You are not a traffic policeman in my mind and have no right to interfere in my direction.

19. The wind is rustling and the water is cool, and the strong man beats the dog, which is gone forever.

20. Most of the people kissing in the park are not husband and wife, and most of them do not deliberately explain the close friends in the scene.

2 1. God, I have to wake up by myself every day.

22. Life is like rape. Since you can't get rid of it, you might as well enjoy it.

If I win 5 million, I think I'd better donate it to my account.

24. Behind a successful man stands a woman forever, and behind a rich woman stands a …

25. Don't call me arrogant, I refuse to deal with animals!

I never talk about people, but I always talk about myths.

27. You are my Youlemei so that I can throw you away after drinking.

28. Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is married.

29. If I can forgive your vulgarity, can you tolerate my affectation?

30. Unrequited love is a successful pantomime, and it becomes a tragedy when it is said!

3 1. Don't argue with a fool, or others won't know who a fool is.

32. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

33. Protect yourself and love others. Please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people.

34. Others laugh at me for being too slutty, and I laugh at others for not being open.

Chopin, if you can bring out the sadness of labor and capital, labor and capital will give you a dollar.

There are thousands of men in the world, and it is really impossible to change them every day.

Even if you are already taken, I will replace it with another flower.

38. The most useless thing in the world is the salary slip, which makes you angry and wipes your ass too carefully.

39. The growing, painful and happy days are called youth.

40. Many things are between not saying injustice and saying melodramatic.

4 1. In this world, sincerity is scarce and should be thrifty.

42. It's a long way to Xiu Yuan, so I'd better take a taxi.

43. Women are like clothes, but big sister is a kind of temperament that you can't wear.

44. Reality raped the past, leaving behind an evil seed called memory.

45. She slept with me when I said I was a director. The next day, I said I was an animation director, and she cried.

46. After hearing what you said, a sense of superiority in IQ arises spontaneously!

47. I am not the Mona Lisa, and I will not smile at everyone.

48. I like when you are plump. Why are you so thin now? What makes me feel sorry? Oh, my wallet!

49. I have been infatuated with you for a long time, a little narcissistic!

What can I say? There are still a few people who have a secret crush on me, and I know it.