I want to tell my girlfriend some jokes to make him happy, preferably the kind that can laugh.

1) Miss explained to pol.ice that she didn't have maine: I just sold a two-yuan condom to 200 yuan, which is the most expensive. Policeman: What happened next? Miss said: teach him how to use the after-sales service.

2) After the performance, the leader took the beautiful Mongolian actress's hand on the stage and asked her name. The actress said excitedly, Maragabi.

3) At the birthday party, there was only a piece of cake with the word birthday written on it. The boy generously picked up the knife and split it in two. He gently said to the girl, "I am responsible for one day and you are responsible for your life, okay?"

4) Sense of life: When work and love are not satisfactory, you can take out your penis, stare at it and meditate on its spirit: it can be long or short, thick or thin, soft or hard, and learn from it. The immediate difficulty is a bird!

5) A kindergarten child was caught smoking in the toilet, and the teacher asked him why he smoked. He bowed his head and replied deeply: the motherland is not unified, and he is depressed!

6) The director danced with the beautiful virgin. The director was a little excited at the climax of the dance music and stood up below. Noticing this, the Virgin asked curiously, What's under you? Director: I'm the section chief. Virgo: I'm not a big official, but it's hard.

7) The female mayor and the male secretary * * * went to dinner together. When they were happy, the secretary said: Secretaries are usually mayors! The female mayor replied shrewdly: Yes, secretaries are generally born (promoted) by mayors!

8) Some people say that smart women can inspire men, beautiful women can confuse men, talented women can attract men, women with status can play with men, and women with everything can confuse a group of men!

There is a man and a woman crossing the bridge. On the bridge, a tiger glared, and the woman took off her clothes after a little thinking. The man also learned to undress, but was tackled by the tiger. Men don't understand? The tiger said, do you think you have a stick to beat Song Wu?

10) The teacher asked the students to make sentences with wrinkles. A student wrote: My father's eggs have many wrinkles. The teacher criticized the parents for not showing their children around. Parents explained that children were careless from childhood and wrote less "face"

At the dinner of a diplomat. A distinguished guest said, "Let's drink to women in the Eastern Hemisphere!" Later, someone proposed a toast to women in the western hemisphere. The last French diplomat: "to the two hemispheres of women!" "

When the husband turned on the light, he accidentally left his handprint on the newly painted wall. The next day, my wife called the painter: I want you to see the place my husband touched last night. The painter fainted. ...

Robber: "Tell me the password of the safe! Don't say kill you! " Female employee: "Don't tell me if you kill me! I won't say anything if you spoil me! " The robber looked her up and down and said, "You should be beautiful!" "

During the lecture, the zipper of the female teacher's pants opened, and a girl stood up to remind: Teacher: "Your door is not closed!" " "The teacher waved:" Never mind, the dean will come to visit later. "

Female employees from other places take time off to decorate their houses. A week later, the house was not finished, so they had to send a telegram to extend their leave. The boss was shocked when he received the telegram! The telegram said: I haven't finished having sex yet, so I'm going to take a week off.