Pretend to be funny quotations

Let others smell your fart! The following are my funny quotations, please refer to them.

Are you blind?

In junior high school, a very strict teacher copied the questions on the blackboard and said, I'm sorry I copied the wrong line. Just when the whole class was quiet, the deskmate in Class Two roared loudly because I stepped on his dropped pen: You are blind! The friends are shocked! !

I really didn't laugh.

One night in high school, after the lights went out, several people in the dormitory lay talking. As a result, the vice principal who didn't patrol robbed the group and went to the playground for punishment. Six people are not allowed to talk when standing according to the military posture standard. Suddenly, the vice principal patted the buddy next to him and said that he would make you laugh. After a while, he slapped him again and said you were still laughing. The buddy cried with a full face of grievances and said, I really didn't laugh, but my teeth were a little awkward, and my teeth were a little awkward!

You are always too soft-hearted, too soft-hearted

In English class, the young female teacher complained: some students' homework is so-so and not serious. I really want to tear it up and throw it in the wastebasket, so there is no need to correct it. But I didn't do it after all. ? At this time, a boy's face showed regret:? You are always too soft-hearted, too soft-hearted ? The female teacher shook her head and said with a wry smile. A person corrects until dawn. ?

Come in and have some milk.

My roommate and I went to the supermarket the day before yesterday to buy a big bottle of soybean milk, and then he couldn't finish it. There is no refrigerator in the dormitory. He is afraid it will expire, but he really can't drink any more! Now I have been squatting at the door and asking people passing by: classmate, don't go! Come in and have some milk! Students, don't go! Classmate, come and drink my milk. ?

It's not what you think.

I just had an English class and the teacher didn't come. Some people say that he is a substitute: your teacher got married yesterday, which is a happy event. This morning, he said he was too tired to come Alas? Alas? It's not what you think. The whole class laughed.

I will take the place of this math class.

? Your teacher Zhang didn't come today, so I came to take the place. Next, the students turn to page 22 and look at the first question. The way to solve this problem is: three long and one short, three short and one long, two long and two short, 2B, uneven, 4D. Ok, let's collect the shuttlecock money that physical education class sent yesterday. .

With sugar?

One for Yan. One day in the canteen, I visually observed a freshman boy (seemingly small) asking him at the window selling porridge. How much is mung bean porridge? The rice seller's answer? The boy asked a piece? With sugar? Besides? Can it be cheaper without sugar? Are they all one piece with or without sugar? Oh, can I have five spoonfuls of sugar? The people in the back row laughed their heads off.

Engineering male's most threatening words now.

Now I don't thank my roommate for keeping me alive! ! ! Engineering male's most threatening words now are: Shit, if you mess with me again, I'll get up in the middle of the night and erase all your drawing homework! !

I want to ask for leave.

? Teacher, I want to ask for leave. ?

? What's the matter with you?

? Feel dizzy in class. ?

? Go away! ?

? Thank you teacher! ?

Take a bath in the school bathroom.

Today, when I went to the school bathroom to take a shower and get dressed, I heard two sisters talking next to me. A said: I went to the supermarket to buy a bag of hot pot bottom material today! ? Yishun:? Do you want to cook hot pot in the dormitory? A calm answer:? No, it's winter, and it's very cold. In the future, when it's cold, use the bottom material of hot pot to make it. ? At that time, at that time, I almost put on my clothes with a smile! Yang Da's sister paper is really not simple.

Stealing a clock to plug your ears-deceiving yourself.

When LZ was in elementary school, physical education class just started to run a lap. Luo Luo Luo, a classmate didn't want to run away, so he found a tree with arm thickness and then quietly hid behind it. The teacher explained this idiom to us on the spot.

Whole blood state

There is a sister paper in the class who is very lively and often fights with her deskmate. She bullied her deskmate against the wall again today. The boy said, let me go, or I'll fight back! This sister paper roared: You can't beat me. I didn't have my period today, and I was covered in blood!

Are you blind?

In junior high school, a very strict teacher copied the questions on the blackboard and said, I'm sorry I copied the wrong line. Just when the whole class was quiet, the deskmate in Class Two roared loudly because I stepped on his dropped pen: You are blind! The friends are shocked! !

I really didn't laugh.

One night in high school, after the lights went out, several people in the dormitory lay talking. As a result, the vice principal who didn't patrol robbed the group and went to the playground for punishment. Six people are not allowed to talk when standing according to the military posture standard. Suddenly, the vice principal patted the buddy next to him and said that he would make you laugh. After a while, he slapped him again and said you were still laughing. The buddy cried with a full face of grievances and said, I really didn't laugh, but my teeth were a little awkward, and my teeth were a little awkward!

I want to ask for leave.

? Teacher, I want to ask for leave. ?

? What's the matter with you?

? Feel dizzy in class. ?

? Go away! ?

? Thank you teacher! ?

Take a bath in the school bathroom.

Today, when I went to the school bathroom to take a shower and get dressed, I heard two sisters talking next to me. A said: I went to the supermarket to buy a bag of hot pot bottom material today! ? Yishun:? Do you want to cook hot pot in the dormitory? A calm answer:? No, it's winter, and it's very cold. In the future, when it's cold, use the bottom material of hot pot to make it. ? At that time, at that time, I almost put on my clothes with a smile! Yang Da's sister paper is really not simple.

Stealing a clock to plug your ears-deceiving yourself.

When LZ was in elementary school, physical education class just started to run a lap. Luo Luo Luo, a classmate didn't want to run away, so he found a tree with arm thickness and then quietly hid behind it. The teacher explained this idiom to us on the spot.

There are no girls in the school.

There are no women in military schools in universities, and the militarization management is very strict, so they can't get out. In the hot adolescence, male hormones have nowhere to vent, so we have no choice but to have sex with our comrades-in-arms, pick up soap in freshman year, have roommates in sophomore year and have roommates in junior year. Decadent youth is unbearable. In the third year of senior high school, we studied hard for a whole year to divert our attention. Hehe, we have been recommended to our school for graduate study.

You should be single.

? Do you eat in junior year? I just waited in line for a long time to get this meal. ? Ah, thank you! Thank you, senior! ? You're welcome. Get in line. There will be more people behind! ?

I'm really sick

It is said that one day in Chinese class, the Chinese teacher (forbidding students to drink water in class) was giving a lecture. One or two students picked up the cup, took a sip of water slowly, and covered it slowly under the teacher's gaze. We were just about to feel sorry for him when he said to the teacher with a serious face: teacher, I am sick. I'm really sick. The teacher is in a hurry.

Strong woman

In the physical education exam, boys do push-ups and girls do sit-ups. A female classmate did several sit-ups and couldn't get up. The teacher didn't give points. She did 42 push-ups in a rage, which took 39 seconds. Full marks! ! ! This is not China paper anymore, but a strong woman, right?

The instructor asked to write military training.

Military training, the instructor asked to write military training. Have a wonderful writing style? There are a group of small instructors beyond the mountain and the sea. They are lonely, healthy and obscene! ? The result was upside down for 20 minutes.

(of female beauty) striking enough that the fish sink and the birds fall-very beautiful.

In today's Chinese class, the teacher is talking about sinking fish and falling geese. One or two forced the students to say that this beautiful woman scared the fish to death, and Zhaojun scared the geese to fly. It should be awkward to grow.

Whole blood state

There is a sister paper in the class who is very lively and often fights with her deskmate. She bullied her deskmate against the wall again today. The boy said, let me go, or I'll fight back! This sister paper roared: You can't beat me. I didn't have my period today, and I was covered in blood!

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