Two homemade jokes

1. Forgotten note: I married a widow. She has an adult daughter. My father is a widower. He married my wife's daughter. So my father became my son-in-law and my daughter became my stepmother. My name is Dad, and Dad calls me Dad. My daughter calls me dad, but I call her mom. I have to call my wife and grandmother. Soon my daughter, my stepmother, gave birth to a son. He is my half-brother, but he must call me grandpa, because he is also my grandson. Later, my wife and grandmother gave birth to a son. He is my stepmother's brother and I am his nephew, so my son calls me dad and I call my son uncle. In addition, I am my wife, that is, my grandmother's grandson, and I am also my grandmother's husband, so I am also my own grandfather. And because my wife is my grandmother, my son, that is, my uncle is my brother, my daughter's brother, so I ... God, such a complicated relationship really breaks me down, and I can only get rid of it if I die.

2. A professor in the Department of Legendary Literature thinks that students who are difficult to learn are famous. One day, he told the students a very depressing topic: the composition should contain nobility and love. The students were in great pain, but one of them handed in his homework the next day. There is only one sentence in the composition: the princess is pregnant. The professor is naturally very angry. He called the student and asked him to join the science fiction element. Student: The Aquarius princess is pregnant. Professor: Increased suspense. Student: Princess Aquarius is pregnant. Who did this? Professor: Add religious elements. Student: Princess Aquarius is pregnant, my God! Who did this?