Complete works of classic jokes

1, the science teacher asked, "Why is the body cold after death?" No one answered. The teacher asked again, "Nobody knows? At this time, someone at the back of the classroom said, "that's because it's calm and naturally cold." "

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I thought there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. An asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two!

3. In biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly distinguish the hands and feet of an octopus? Answer: Give it a fart to smell. Is the hand will cover your nose, and the rest is your feet. The whole class fell down.

4, a person always farts at work, and colleagues can't help but say: Can you keep quiet? Then I saw him sitting there trembling. Colleagues asked him what he was doing, and he replied, I am tuned to vibration now!

5, someone riding a bicycle, heard passers-by yelling: go, go, go ... I think I can sing: Oh, oh ... I plunged into the ditch before my voice fell, and passers-by scolded: I told you I was still riding in the ditch! You deserve to fall to death.

6, carp and tortoise to get a marriage certificate. The clerk asked the turtle's age, and the turtle: 100. Quasi-marriage

7. A couple came to the wishing pool. The husband bent down and made a wish, then threw a coin into the well. My wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent down, she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was surprised, then smiled and said to himself, "How clever!" A couple are fishing by the river, and the lady is always quarreling. After a while, the fish took the bait, the lady said, poor fish. The husband said, yes, just shut up.

8. A man received an infusion in the hospital. When you lose, you start laughing. Others asked him what he was laughing at. He said, "I smiled a little."

9. Why is vernier caliper not lonely? Because it doesn't read.

Once upon a time, there was a whale. Later, he became ill.

1 1. One day, a buddy came to see us, saw the words "Watch out for the glass" on the gate, turned around and left. He pointed to the gate and said, "You don't welcome me here ~"

12, there is a child with thick pores. His mother heard that bathing with sesame seeds can cure diseases, so she bought a lot of sesame seeds and poured them in the bathtub to bathe her son. Later, later. He became a strawberry.

There are 13 kinds of people in the world: those who know binary and those who don't.

14. Once upon a time, there was a duck named Xiao Huang. One day when crossing the street, he was knocked down by a car. He let out a cry and turned into a cucumber.

15. once upon a time, there was a cucumber She felt that there were too many pimples on her face, so she sliced it herself and applied it to her face.

16, "What does that crooked round-headed stick on QQ mean?" "Weibo." "The image is good. . . "

17. Once upon a time, there was a man named Cai, and everyone called him. One day, he was taken away!

18. According to research, the first owner of Taobao in China was the poet Wang Wei. The basis lies in a condolence poem he wrote to the buyer: Think twice about your family during the festive season!

19, the earliest group buying in the world appeared in the late Qing Dynasty, called the Boxer Rebellion.

20. Chatting with MM on QQ, MM asked me, "What grade are you in?" I said, "88." She got off the bus.

2 1, San Mao said, "The object I am looking for in the future must be Qi Mao." Everyone asked, "Why?" Sanmao replied, "Because we are together!"

22. What am I to you? You are my many fish. Huh? Why snacks? Because you are too redundant.