Four couples beat you.

Four couples thundered at you 1 and quarreled with their wives. I yelled: Don't think that you are beautiful and I dare not scold you!

I thought she would be happy to stop arguing, but who knows, said the idiot wife, I don't think what you said makes sense, so I won't hit you.

2. Husband: Have you rested?

Wife: Not yet.

Husband: Why do I hear other voices at home?

Wife: Aren't you going on a business trip? I'm scared at home alone. Just ask Xiaoli to accompany me, or I'll let her tell you.

Husband: No, honey, you go to sleep.

Husband hung up the phone and looked at Xiaoli lying next to him. She smoked all night. . .

Just now, my husband called my full name downstairs and told him to lose his key. When he came back, he looked at me unhappy and asked, What's the matter?

I said, why did you call me by my name? Call my wife.

He said, what if I drop the keys of the whole building and hurt myself?

Wife, where are my twelve beer caps?

Throw it away, I said, how can you, a big man, put this thing away like a child and give it back to the zodiac!

Oh, my God, these are all other bottles, my beer.

Laughing and shocking young couple.

1, the husband shook his hand in front of his wife.

Husband: What's this?

Wife: salty pig's hand.

Husband reached out and touched his wife's chest. Husband: What's this?

Wife: It's still a salty pig's hand.

Husband: Wrong! This is frankincense salted pig's hand.

2. Husband: Why celery again tonight?

Wife: Do you like it?

Husband: I am tired of eating every day!

Wife: Who made me angry?

Husband: Then you can't punish yourself!

Wife: I won't be offended if I eat it!

3. Wife: Do you want to exercise at night?

Husband: I've always wanted to.

Wife: Then don't say that you are tired after work, that you have no spirit at night and can't fool around.

Husband: You must.

Wife: I washed all my clothes that night.

4. Husband: You were really happy when you were young. You can eat foreign fast food, so I have to take steamed bread to school.

Wife: Steamed bread is green food. How nutritious! Look at you, how smart you are to raise steamed bread. You can catch up with me.

Husband: I was miserable when I was a child. I have to cut cattle after school.

Wife: I am more bitter than you! After school, I will also go to the countryside to collect grass and feed my rabbit (my wife's pet). Think about it, how tired it is on such a hot day.

Husband: But besides mowing the cows, I have to help my mother grow vegetables.

Wife: You are very good. Everyone is helpful. I am in pain. The strawberries I grow have to be watered and mowed every day, expecting them to grow up without help.

Husband: How many strawberries did you grow?

Wife: A pot.

Super happy shocking couple.

1. On the roadside, a young couple are quarreling. The woman said: You didn't get paid this month. Are you raising a mistress?

Man: I'll give it to you. Don't say you don't want it.

Then the daughter-in-law got angry and shouted, I said no before going to bed. How did you know to climb up? .......

I went home tonight and changed clothes with my husband. I took off my pants and prepared to change into my pajamas. My husband suddenly said, wife, your underwear is on backwards. I said it doesn't matter if no one looks at the old lady when she is married.

My husband looked at me for a long time and said, I remember you were dressed straight when you went out in the morning.

When friends get married, mother-in-law doesn't like daughter-in-law. My husband was embarrassed. His wife asked him to perform in front of her mother-in-law, so he ran to tell his mother that I only loved men before I met her, and she changed me.

So the mother-in-law loved her daughter-in-law infinitely from now on.

4, there is a second-rate wife at home, recently determined to lose weight, resolutely do not eat sweet things.

Yesterday, I saw the unfinished chocolate in the refrigerator, all kinds of saliva, tangled, and finally I had to eat a piece.

As soon as I put it in my mouth, I saw her squatting next to me and said pitifully, Is it delicious? Let me smell your breath!

Today, my wife and I went to the park and saw some peach trees. I said jokingly, I'll go around the peach trees and see if there will be another peach blossom this year.

The wife said: then you are busy first, and I will go there to find an apricot.

6. Pretend you don't know your wife every time you go shopping with her.

Otherwise, I'm afraid others will think: if this young man is not for money, what else can he do?

7. There is a bug flying all the time on the screen. I haven't pressed it for a long time At this time, my wife said, what are you playing? Give me the next one.

I took her mobile phone and turned off my screen, and the bug was successfully attracted to her mobile phone screen.

I handed it to her and said, just one life. Save it for fun.

8. My wife asked me: Why did girls have to bind their feet in the past?

I replied without thinking: I must be afraid that they will go shopping.

That night, I was sent to stay on the sofa.

9. The wife cursed her husband: You are so cowardly! Why didn't you call for help when the gangster robbed your wallet?

The husband said angrily, you idiot, have you forgotten that I still have a big gold tooth in my mouth?

10, a man saw his colleague change his lover's phone message to 10086, and he escaped many times in an emergency, so he followed suit. One night, the man received a phone call from his lover in front of his wife for the first time, deliberately letting her see the caller ID: 10086.

After reading it, the wife immediately grabbed the mobile phone, scolded the spoiled woman on the phone, and then yelled at her husband: You are still stupid when you are old! The Unicom card you used, I called 10086 to visit your relatives.

I miss you in April.

Miss your sentence

1. Life doesn't believe in tears, and fate despises cowardice. If you are always depressed, life is a barren desert. Affection is like water, which makes complex things pure after filtering; Affection is like fire, which makes plain look sharp and angular through calcination; Affection is poetry, which makes boredom reach an artistic conception after modification. Family, the eternal power of life.

Life is a hundred years, and there is not much time to squander. It is said that happiness is like drinking water, and you know it very well. Some people, on the road of chasing happiness every day, never feel the existence of happiness; Some people, knowing how to collect a little warmth and emotion, will go on happily.

3. The mountain is a journey, and the water is a journey. I've traveled one journey after another, but I can't see you coming. You know, the dribs and drabs of time always blur my memory and my eyes, but it is not this promise of my previous life. I want to wait for you, waiting in the blooming Jiangnan and waiting in the foggy Jiangnan alley.

I think, if I love you without arresting you, appreciate you without criticizing you, participate in you without demanding you, leave you without saying sorry, help you without looking down on you at all, then we can get along sincerely and nourish each other.

I'm glad I don't know you. I am glad that you are a stranger passing by in my life. I'm glad I don't have to pretend to you. Because we are strangers. In life, we will always meet many people who touch us in one way or another.

6. There are always some memories that are repeated with sighs, and old movies become more and more miserable after the passage of time. Occasionally standing in front of the screen, my heart is no longer painful and my eyes are not red. It's just that I sigh a lot.

7. punctual and diligent people-seize the time; Lazy people-killing time; Where there is will-cherish time; Doing nothing-wasting time; Loyal ministers-punctuality; Speculator-waiting time; Smart people-accumulate time; Fool-ignoring time; Knowledge-seekers-use time; Ignorance-wasting time; Doer-pay attention to time; Wanderer-tramping on time; When you win moderately; Optimist-praise time; Pessimist-sigh time.

8. Don't say that the past is unbearable and getting colder. The warmth that has been silently paid is still fragrant in the branches of the years. Never give up waiting, there is still a wind of mutual concern, endless. Even if it is a single text, there will be warm-hearted pen and ink flowing out, graceful and restrained those smiles, those joys and sorrows, those who used to.

9. In the fleeting time, there is always a figure that makes you want to look down; Years, there is always such a beautiful image that you are willing to wait; Flowers bloom for one season, and flowers fall for another. Who made the flowers in the dust, opened them in the hearts of future people, and saw through my thoughts one by one, making me transparent and singing alone in the story of time.

65438+

1 1. Love always comes at a price. Love is not cheap, unprocessed or just picked up in the street. Otherwise it must be fake love. Injury is an inseparable part of the price of love. When you think about love, there must be the possibility of being ignored, accepted and secretly loved ... and getting love is just one of the ten thousand impossibilities in many Qian Qian.

12. Only when you have the courage to change the changeable, the ability to accept the unchangeable and the wisdom to distinguish the differences between them can you adapt to the surrounding environment and always keep a happy heart. We can't stop what has happened, but we can change the influence of those things on our present life. The ideal is full and the reality is skinny. People should have dreams and face reality. Because the reality is right in front of you, and you can't escape.

13. For a period of happiness, I traveled all over the world, and for the love of my life, I searched hard. So many unknown pains and bitterness, as well as life-long parting, have left me sad ripples, always turning bitter heartache in the empty silence.

14. At first, you were happy, but at that time, you were miserable. I know that the heart is always in the most painful time, while the recovery and love are always in the deepest time and have come to an end. Yesterday's scenes, like a gust of wind, blew away the memories of spring. If the garden can't be closed, it will sink into the bottom of my heart and merge into Wang Yang. What can flow out is two tears in the corner of my eye. And you can only regard happiness as a kind of pain that you pretend to show others, and cover up your inner loneliness and emptiness with carnival. Give the wound an excuse to smile and create happiness, and there is a reason to continue.

15. When I miss someone very much, I look up at the plane that occasionally flies in the air and feel that some people will disappear in my life sooner or later. Just like that plane, I tried my best to walk a long way and see the passing cars and scenery in the street, just to drown those past.

16. Some people are kind to you, first sweet and then bitter. At first, you felt so attached to each other, but in the end, it grew weaker and weaker, and soon you broke up. And some people are slow to heat. At first, you will feel so cold that you don't even want to talk about it. The longer you keep in touch with him, the better he will be to you. Because the people who loved you wanted you. People who love you to the end want to be with you.

17. A bay with clear water and a boat, layers of white fog and mountains. A hut was located at the foot of the mountain, and a pole awakened the fairy. On the world of mortals, walking alone, the green radish brushed the skirt, and Qingyun wet the promise. Mountains and water can be forgotten in pairs, and days and months can be irrelevant. At that time, there was only one person's floating world, and one person's small water flowed forever.

18. Life is a blooming tree, quiet or warm, lonely or bright. The days are getting thicker and thicker in the rings of years, and those innocent souls who jump or meditate have carved deep and shallow impressions in the bustling and noisy. I want to live sincerely and treat everything with a low profile. Being a low-key person is a kind of character, a kind of accomplishment, a kind of wisdom and a kind of strategy.

19. Tick-tock, a rain complied with my wish and arrived as scheduled. Listening to the patter of rain tapping on the window lattice is as gentle as the affectionate whisper of a close lover; Listening to the rain at night caressing the flowers and plants quietly, playing gently like delicate strings; Listening to the rain at night moistens things silently, and indulging in the vision of falling flowers in Jinguan City; Listening to the rain at night gently touches the heartstrings, nourishing distant memories in the depths of the soul. ...

20. You floated into my heart and dominated my world. You make my world dark. Are you tired? Please leave if you are tired! Knowing that some ideals will never be realized, some questions will never be answered, some stories will never have an ending, and some people will always be familiar strangers, but they will still pursue, wait and fantasize.

2 1. If you want to indulge your life, you must first learn to exercise restraint, self-discipline and restraint. From controlling staying up late to getting up early, to controlling appetite and losing weight, to controlling all kinds of inexplicable delusions such as unwillingness and jealousy, it is a mature attitude of respecting facts and following reason.

22. It turns out that some memories will still be chained by dust and locked in the past. I don't know. You are as good as her. You will grow old together. I never knew. Gains and losses, like acting, are one after another. Sometimes life is like a game, and it is better to always find it, not to have it. Is there anyone who, like me, is still clinging to a fruitless result?

No matter your physical condition or your family background, please remember that you must have your own independent job and financial resources. Maybe you are not short of money, or someone is willing to support you, but a career brings you not only money, but also an independent personality. Love is giving your heart to others, and career is firmly controlling your life. Don't be an accessory. Independent life is the bottom line of love.

24. The profound meaning of life often lies in keeping your true self, calming your mind and living honestly in temptation. People should be wise and compassionate. Resentment is a cup of poisoned wine, which poisons one's happiness. No one is perfect, and happiness is not 100%. On the road of life, don't envy others and don't lose yourself. Time is life, so we must cherish precious life and wait for every crossroads of life persistently.

25. Have the courage to change what can be changed, the ability to accept what cannot be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the differences between the two, so as to adapt to the surrounding environment and always maintain a happy heart. We can't stop what has happened, but we can change the influence of those things on our present life. The ideal is full and the reality is skinny. People should have dreams and face reality. Because the reality is right in front of you, and you can't escape.

26. For a period of happiness, I traveled all over the world, and for the love of my life, I searched hard. So many unknown pains and bitterness left me sad ripples in that eternal parting, always turning my bitter heartache in the empty silence.

27. At first, you were happy, but during that time, you were miserable. I know that the heart always recovers in the most painful time, and love always comes to an end in the deepest time. Yesterday's scenes, like a gust of wind, blew away the memories of spring. If the garden can't be closed, it will sink into the bottom of my heart and merge into Wang Yang. What can flow out is two tears in the corner of my eye. And you can only regard happiness as a kind of pain that you pretend to show others, and cover up your inner loneliness and emptiness with carnival. Give the wound an excuse to smile and create happiness, and there is a reason to continue.

28. When I miss someone very much, when I look up at the plane that occasionally flies in the air, I feel that some people will disappear in my life sooner or later, just like that plane … I desperately let myself walk far and far, watching the passing cars and street scenes, just to drown those past …

29. Some people are kind to you, first sweet and then bitter. At first, you felt so attached to each other, but in the end, it grew weaker and weaker, and soon you broke up. And some people are slow to heat. At first, you will feel so cold that you don't even want to talk about it. The longer you keep in touch with him, the better he will be to you. Because the people who loved you wanted you. People who love you to the end want to be with you.

30. A bay with clear water and a boat is covered with layers of white fog. A hut was located at the foot of the mountain, and a pole awakened the fairy. On the world of mortals, walking alone, the green radish brushed the skirt, and Qingyun wet the promise. Mountains and water can be forgotten in pairs, and days and months can be irrelevant. At that time, there was only one person's floating world, and one person's small water flowed forever.

3 1. Life is a blooming tree, quiet or warm, lonely or bright. The days are getting thicker and thicker in the rings of years, and those innocent souls who jump or meditate have carved deep and shallow impressions in the bustling and noisy. I want to live sincerely and treat everything with a low profile. Being a low-key person is a kind of character, a kind of accomplishment, a kind of wisdom and a kind of strategy.

32. What I fear most in love is distance, but what I fear most is distance. As long as you really love each other, you can be together after all. In front of someone you love so much, what is distance? If you break up easily because of a long distance, you shouldn't be sad, because you just left someone who has been with you for a long time but doesn't really love you. I'm glad I found true love in loneliness and missing.

33. Many times, we need to learn to forget. Forgetting doesn't mean it never existed. Forgetting doesn't mean giving up everything. Everything comes from choice, not deliberate. Stay beautiful, forget the sorrow. Life will be wonderful only when your heart is full of beauty. When there is love in our hearts, then glory is a smile; When we have scenery in our hearts, then glory is beauty; No matter what you want, glory comes from everything that is beautiful or once beautiful in your heart.

When we look up, we all hope to see the sunshine today. On this earth, we all prefer that many things will not change. We all hope that reality will not conflict with our own ideas, but what we see is that plans will never keep up with changes. For the sake of sunshine, even if I turn around and don't go, it may only be a lifetime.

35. Maybe not every time I am lonely, I will accompany you in time. But I want you to know that every time you need it, remember to turn back. There will always be someone who will stay in your place and never give up. There always seems to be unbearable pain in life. Some regrets are destined to bear for a lifetime; In life, there are always some exquisite emotional porcelain broken around us, but the cracks remain at the moment when we look back at the end of the year.

36. I will still miss college life after I find out. Ten years later, I will tell my son about my going to college. But I am afraid that I will forget all the materials, so I use a pen to record the wandering time.

37. Forgetting is our unchangeable destiny. Everything is like misplaced paper. Everything in the past can't go back to the past, so it slowly extends out bit by bit. Maybe we should really forget about those interlaced things. As long as you can remember me, even in a hateful way. When I try to hate you, I will think of your smile.

The growth of life is so simple and pure, but it is too complicated by ourselves. From birth, a person is like riding a train at a constant speed. Before death, there will be no platform for you to rest, and there will be no detours for you to prolong your life. The only thing we can resist with the length of life is to try our best to expand the width of life.

39. Life is really tiring, depending on how you taste it; Some things, let go gently, are not necessarily difficult. Some people, with deep memories, are not necessarily unhappy. Some pain, take it easy, not necessarily experience. Rough road, give a warm and stormy life around you and give yourself a smile. Life is understanding and understanding, keeping happiness in your heart, melting quietly and spreading slowly!

40. Every time I think about you, it will cause a bank. Everyone who is lovelorn has sung Happy Break-up and experienced the time after the break-up. Many urban men and women have experienced such painful times. Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. Even if it breaks your heart, forget it with a smile and start the next journey.

Selected sentences of missing you

1. Loneliness is stained with a sad background. How can the night endure silence? Your fault, my fault, darkens the bright moon, and the autumn wind is a little bleak. How can it not make people cry? On Naihe Bridge, I can't get rid of whose fate is evil. Although there is a string of acacia in my heart, the story is sighing after twists and turns. The city has been a mess, and now you are holding someone's arm lightly.

2. I am standing in the snow, thinking about the dribs and drabs that you and I walked in your world in the past; Miss your smile; Miss you and I chase each other in the snow; Miss every sleepless night; Miss me chasing the car and watching you go away. I am listening to the sound of falling snow, with endless thoughts of you, tears have already blurred my vision.

3. Hey, are you still there? Actually, I wanted to say, I was here.

4. My vicissitudes remain the same. Deduced the midsummer sadness of this season, sighed gently, made several generations of prosperity, sighed gently, made several generations of prosperity, beautiful as a roll, but failed to reach the lost years. Sniffing your unique fragrance gently. Whether your face is still the same. I can't remember, yesterday's past, endless and lonely wandering. In the past, the years have passed, and things have changed. I sigh, just like you are in the middle of the water.

It is best to talk about love only three times in your life, once ignorant, once unforgettable and once in your life. If you talk too much, you will be more uncertain; If you experience too much, you will be numb, stop believing in love, walk around, and finally marry someone you don't love. You can't love each other from the heart, and the other party complains that you don't care enough and don't care about your family. Finally, this failed love will make you spend your life with regrets.

6. After starting a business, you will understand that you will find that the first person to buy your goods is a stranger; People who never buy your goods are acquaintances; The first person to keep your distance is the person you helped; The first person who refuses to help you is a good friend; The people who look down on you most are relatives. One day, when you are rich, invite everyone to eat, drink and have fun at every party, and you will find that everyone is there except strangers.

7. All the songs were sung again in an instant, and everything was recalled in an instant. Those who love us never leave. Who started to remember, who started to sing again, and those things that touched us will come back at some point.

8. There will always be a person hidden in everyone's heart all his life. Maybe this person will never know. Nevertheless, this person will never be replaced by anyone. -And that man is like a scar that will never heal. Whenever it is gently lifted or touched, it hurts faintly.

9. An empty city is an old dream, so is the old friend safe? Play a sad song, drink a cup of heartbroken, unforgettable and finally forgotten in the water. You appeared in the middle of the road, knocking on my inner fragility, and everything was doomed. Since you have no intention of playing music, why did you touch my heart? After all, since then, I have never asked my original intention, talked about the past, and time flies like water, so I will give up.

10. How many times have we met in our life? Warm heart, unforgettable in this life. The colorful time is worth cherishing. How many times have you left in your life? Let's break our hearts and give up. Love is romantic and plain, which makes people happy. People who fall in love are happy, beautiful and sweet. However, love is also painful. As deep as love and pain are, roses have thorns.