Zhang Ailing Series (12) The Sacred and Secular Marriage - Zhang Ailing's "Hongluan Jubilee"

"Hongluan Jubilee" centers on a wedding, depicts all living beings, and shows different people's views on marriage, whether they are looking forward to it or feeling disappointed.

The bride Yuqing was very excited and full of longing for the upcoming wedding:

"Putting her chin in one hand, she looked at her two bridesmaids with depression. Yuqing was very She was careful not to look happy - she was overjoyed to get married, as if she was an old maid. Yuqing's face was smooth and open, like a newly made bed, with a hint of sadness. The pressure was like someone sitting down on the bed. "

Her family is a declining family. Her parents collected a dowry of 50,000 yuan. According to Chinese and foreign customs, most of this money should be spent on a new house. In terms of furnishings, Yuqing spent all the money on herself:

"She believes that a woman only has this one willful moment in her life, so she has to use her rights as much as possible, so what she saw She has a decisive and sad feeling in her heart when she buys something without having time, so her sadness about getting a dowry is not entirely fake."

This mentality is like Zhang Ailing's novel "Young." The Russian girl in "Time":

"In the entire wedding ceremony, only Qinxia was beautiful. She seemed to have made up her mind to create some beautiful memories for herself. She praised Holding a white candle, she bowed her head devoutly, the upper half of her face was in the shadow of the veil, and the lower half of her face was in the shadow of the candlelight. Her own faint and pale smile appeared in the swaying light and shadow. She created for herself the atmosphere of mystery and dignity that a newlywed bride should have, even though the priest was listless, even though the incense burner was surprisingly dirty, even though the groom was impatient, and even though her dress was rented and borrowed, she would only do this for the rest of her life. One day. It’s something worth remembering in general. Let’s remember it in old age.”

Relatively speaking, Qinxia is more tragic. The young couple Yuqing and Lu Lu are both knowledgeable and calculating. "When buying things, pick out the trivial ones first, and put the important things last. Don't ask for them until you run out of money." For example, you have to buy a bed. If you run out of money, the elderly will not be able to handle it, and they will lose face, so they will definitely buy it for them. of.

Yuqing’s dress was also rented, and in the photo she took with the groom, “she pulled down the veil and covered her face, her face was blurred, and it seemed like an innocent ghost had been accidentally photographed in the photo. Yuqing was very dissatisfied and decided to rent a dress for the wedding. "The dress carefully prepared for the wedding did not make the bride radiant and leave a good memory." After the marriage ceremony was over, "the band started playing the march again. When the bride went out, her white dress seemed a little worn out and her face looked old." Reality is always unsatisfactory.

Mrs. Lou, Yuqing’s mother-in-law, should be happy to see her son marry a daughter-in-law. But she:

"Suddenly she remembered that when she was a child, she stood at the gate to watch people welcoming brides. There was a whine in front of the sedan chair, and the round and brutal blows suppressed the bride's cries. The gongs beat It's heart-shaking. Under the scorching sun, the colorful fringes of the sedan chair are rows of lake green, pink, and bright red, all waving by themselves, making people dizzy yet awake at noon, like the realgar wine on the Dragon Boat Festival. The husband's patched blue shorts were exposed under his embroidered jacket, with his thin yellow neck sticking out, his sweat glistening like a worm poking out of a jar. The bearer and the trumpeter walked together, swaying gorgeously along the way. The spectators became one with them, and everyone was shocked by the vast joy outside them, and their hearts were shaken."

It is strange that Mrs. Lou herself got married. It should be a traditional wedding, but her memory of this ritual scene is not her own, but someone else's. She seems to be more fascinated by such a bright red and green wedding with noisy gongs and drums, but for her son's happy event, she feels that it is "small and small, I don't know why." For her, thirty years of married life have taught her that "marriage is not that thing." Perhaps because of this, she didn't have the excitement she had when she was a child watching other people's weddings.

Generally speaking, weddings are always extremely grand.

For many women, such as Yuqing and Qinxia cited above, this is the most glorious, happiest and most joyful moment in their lives. In that moment she becomes the center and her worth is fully realized. Why so much emphasis on weddings? Because of its covenantal nature. It is said that in some Nordic countries, the cohabitation rate among like-minded people has reached 90%, replacing the form of marriage. But for most people in the world, marriage is still so important. People who love each other not only need to live together, but also need to publicly declare their relationship through the sacred ceremony of the wedding, so that their emotions can be reflected in marriage. Crowned. Just like many homosexuals, they not only fight for the right not to be discriminated against or punished, but also fight for the right to legalize marriage.

However, sanctity is more of a form after all, and the essence of marriage is still accumulated from countless ordinary days. Marriage may become the temple of love, or it may become the tomb of love, or it may have nothing to do with love. Lewis said that when love becomes God, love becomes the devil. Marriage is not love. Those soul-stirring love stories are often love at first sight, carelessness, short-term blindness, or beautiful dreams left behind because they can't get together. Marriage, on the other hand, focuses on the issues after "coming together."

Marriage is an adventure, a bet, a one-shot deal, and a test of faith. In the form of marriage, the cost of divorce increases significantly, especially for women. In order to maintain a marriage, marriage has become the purpose of marriage itself. As long as they grow old together and have children and grandchildren, no matter whether there is a soul connection between the husband and wife, or how many hardships and sufferings there are in thousands of days, it will be worth it in the end and they will be considered happy. logo. Marriage has become a maintenance meeting.

Mrs. Lou is like this, she has been "the same for thirty years." Making old-fashioned flower shoes for my wife is just to "have the opportunity to hide in childhood memories, which is pleasant." Those are the memories of the days before marriage. Seeing the rose-red shoe uppers, the husband ridiculed, "I still have time to get that in my busy schedule." The daughters also mocked their mother because her daughter-in-law had already bought her own shoes. Mrs. Lou pretended not to mind. She had become accustomed to playing an insignificant role in the family.

The husband received a degree in the United States and is now quite successful in his career. Although his taste is only arty, he does not like his wife from the bottom of his heart. He can say to his wife in series: "Can't you cut your hair into a duck-butt style? To save trouble, just shave your hair! Don't wear snow-green socks, okay? Don't roll your socks under your knees, okay?" ? Please don’t expose a piece of black silk kimono under the cheongsam, okay? ”

How disrespectful to women these words are! But Tai's anxiety is always expressed in a consultative tone. In the eyes of outsiders, he is "known as a good husband." And many people feel that these two are a mismatched couple, and "all feel sorry for Mr. Lou." As for Mrs. Lou, of course she tolerated Mr. Lou behind his back, but sometimes in front of others, she would deliberately embarrass Mr. Lou to earn some face. Mr. Lou always tolerated her in front of others. This is what he thought:

"She just wants to spread her fierce reputation and free her; he has already sacrificed a lot anyway, so he might as well be a good husband to the end."

Mrs. Lou knows that being a responsible husband is for others to see. The husband felt that he had to worry about all the big and small things in the family. More than once, he would complain in front of relatives, "Mrs. Lou herself also felt that she had wronged her husband. She really had no place to express the grievance she felt."

The way the couple have gotten along for thirty years is to keep their emotions in check and not explode. The husband's anxiety turned into a tone of discussion; the wife vented her anger alone in the bathroom, gargling her mouth.

Marriage is not only the relationship between husband and wife, but also involves the relationship with the whole family:

"Mrs. Lou feels lonely. The Lou family is beautiful and strong, and her beloved, Her husband and her children, together with the gang, tried every means to test her, and discovered her shortcomings again and again. Her husband had always been concerned about face and socializing since he was poor, and put her in various difficult situations. Time and time again she was found to have not enough.

Later, her family prospered, and she was supposed to live a happy life for two days. Unexpectedly, the situation became so big that she even realized that she was not enough. ”

“However, if she is asked to live another kind of life, without the opportunity to dress properly, pay homage to guests, and return visits, she will be unhappy and feel like she has lost something. Prosperity, anger, embarrassment, this is life. Mrs. Lou felt another tender stretch of pain. ”

Thirty years of unsatisfactory life with no better alternative was enough for her to learn a set of ways to deal with things and develop her own optimistic life wisdom. Mrs. Lou’s outlook on life It's Camus's existentialism. For the present and the future, there is no hope, no despair, no sadness. I just feel "trouble!" for everything I encounter. trouble! Occasionally, she would "suddenly feel disgusted with everything around her. She didn't know whether it was disgust for her husband or disgust for the people who were watching them being husband and wife." ”

There are also boring feelings. For example, the witness talked about new morals, new trends of thought, and national responsibilities, and hoped that the couple would work hard to create a small nation in the future. Everyone smiled in harmony. And, the second wedding anniversary Oh my god, my new father-in-law, Mr. Lou, who is good at socializing and socializing, actually asked his daughter-in-law in front of the whole family, “How do you feel about getting married? Still like it? The daughter-in-law didn't want to be felt as "not enough." She hesitated, showed an extremely generous air, and replied: "Very good." "After saying that, my face turned slightly red. Everyone in the room laughed again, a little uncertainly, and some didn't know what they were laughing at.

This is also boring. Marriage and happiness are sometimes made. For everyone to see. The two unmarried sisters of the Lou family and Yuqing’s cousins ??are still looking forward to the happy and poetic feeling of marriage.

Wang Yi said, “All human beings. "All marriages begin with joy and end with sorrow"; "The corruption of society begins with the corruption of the family." Tangerui said: "Behind every unsatisfactory marriage, there are sins that have not been repented of." ”

In fact, marriage is not that good or that bad. Marriage is about living. Marriage itself is not sacred or secular, but in the secular life of "walking together", it becomes The channel to the divine. This is a lesson of faith, which requires not only the dedication or efforts of a specific party, but the mutual cooperation and mutual perfection of broken people. Only in this way can the days have hope.