Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Super funny classic sentences (50 selected sentences)

Super funny classic sentences (50 selected sentences)

1. Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is married.

2, science has proved that inferior * * sets can easily lead to rectal cancer.

3. Xiao Xin: Dad, what do you think is missing in sister Guo Jingjing's life?

4, don't talk to me about money, hurt feelings; Don't talk to me about feelings, it hurts money!

5. Xiao Xin: Dad, why are there three gold medals in my name?

6. Money treats me like dirt, and I treat money like dirt! Who's afraid of being dirty?

7. Don't go out in rainy days. Although rain is non-toxic, it is small in wet body and big in gonorrhea.

8. I heard that marriage is very cheap now, and the Civil Affairs Bureau will settle it for a few dollars. My treat!

9. I saw a netizen's brief and powerful self-introduction-heterosexual male, female lover.

10, girls care about the happiness of the second half of their lives; What boys care about is the happiness of the lower body.

1 1. When cooking, a crab jumps out of the pot and says to you, "I'm hot!" A: If you want to be red, you can bear it.

12, I know I'm not handsome, but people look at my full moon photo and say I'm left.

13, I really want to make a quiet and serious effort.

14, it's not terrible to be almost squeezed into a photo on the bus. The scary thing is taking pictures with disgusting men.

15, I changed her from a girl to a woman; She turned me from a boy into a poor boy.

16, maintaining life lies in exercise, and creating life lies in exercise. The difference is under the bed.

17, I just met a netizen who looks like a flower or a disfigured version. Can you imagine?

18, in primary school science class, the teacher asked the students about the role of skin and answered: prevent others from seeing you vomit!

19, Ivan, you answer, what kind of eye snake does it belong to? The teacher asked. The students thought about it and wanted to answer: myopia.

20. When I have money, let's buy lollipops and buy two, one for you to eat and the other for you.

2 1. In the long river of life, the most puzzling moment is to put your hand on the induction faucet.

22. Dad: You are short of gold, so you are called Xin, just like some people are short of water, called Miao, and some people are short of wood, called Sen.

23, I slowly discovered that talent is a demon! Some goblins eat people, but people eat everything. If a leprechaun can barbecue!

24. My dream life: I wake up naturally when I sleep and count my cramps. My real life: I wake up naturally when I count money, and I have cramps when I sleep.

25. I am degraded and still can't swim. You know, before I was born, I was definitely the fastest swimmer

26. After graduation, the zoo chose the first party. The common reason is that only here can we feel that we are still individuals!

27, living alone, people can only waste; Wives and concubines in groups make people know how to be frugal. But now, I am eager to be frugal in waste all day.

28, boy, in order to stop hurting the world and have a relationship with men and women, my sister accepted you unfairly. Remember to be on call, don't struggle.

29. When a man and a woman get married, everyone has a sense of self-protection of property. Before marriage, the man wrote in the prenuptial agreement: All transformers are mine.

30. Men with strong lust are called satyr, those with strong lust are called satyr, and those with strong lust are called satyr, especially perverted satyr with strong lust, and they are called human aesthetic artists.

3 1, the teacher talked about the principle of electricity: friction can generate electricity, as long as you touch the cat's skin, you can generate electricity. Oh, my god A boy cried. How many cats are there in the power station?

32. The Digital Legion is against the Alphabet Legion. The digital leader said: you form B and sneak into the alphabet army! After a while, I saw the two men coming back with their heads broken and said, chief! Pretending to be B has been discovered!

When I was young, I always wanted to show my strong side, so I wanted to get tattoos. The reason why I didn't implement it in the end is because I have been hesitant to tattoo crayons or one piece Luffy.

34. Actually, steamed bread is everything. You can eat when you are hungry. If you want to eat cake, flatten the steamed bread; If you want to eat noodles, comb steamed bread with a comb; If you want a hamburger, cut the steamed bread and eat it with vegetables.

35. The invigilator who took a bite found that a student was cheating, so he angrily pointed at the student and shouted: You hellip, you hellip, you hellip, you hellip, you dare to cheat, stand up! Five students stood up!

If I see you again, I will drag you to the bedroom, lock the door, push you to the bed crazily, cover your head with a quilt, open your arms and roll up your sleeves to tell you: Look, my watch is luminous!

37. Pig Bajie and Chang 'e are very close in the Moon Palace. Suddenly, a black shadow passed by. Pig Bajie hurriedly chased out with a rake. Half an hour later, he came back panting and said to Chang 'e, Damn it, Yang Liwei!

38. When you passed me without looking at me, my heart was broken. Tears welled up in my eyes when I remembered your gentle appearance the other day. Now I can only look at your back and say, can you pay me back?

39. I have been particularly keen on constellations recently. One day, my girlfriend and I were discussing constellations with relish. An uncle came over and I grabbed him and asked, what seat are you? Uncle paused for a second and murmured, This is made of meat.

40. God gave me a pair of eyes to see the world of flowers; God gave me another hand to try to make money; God gave me another mouth to curse God's injustice.

4 1, the female doctor wrote too scribbled, and made a list for the man to check the B-ultrasound. For a long time, the man turned around and said, I have searched all over the hospital, but I haven't seen where Shisanchao is. Female doctor laughs: it's B-ultrasound! Not 13 super! Male nu way: You B are too open! .

A Dai: Why don't I want to eat Lamian Noodles? I've been waiting a long time! Dude: Don't worry, don't worry, the master is pulling! Then the master came with hot noodles, and he said enthusiastically, I'll pull this! Still steaming! Please eat, please eat!

43. It has been raining these days. I guess the jade emperor is crying. It must be that his marriage with the heavenly queen is unhappy. There are two possibilities for this unhappiness. One is that the Queen Mother has left, and the other is that the Queen Mother refuses to leave.

I like to leave my life to fate: when I wake up in the morning, I will toss a coin. If the face is up, I will continue to sleep; If my back is up, I will lie in bed and watch TV. If the coin stands up after landing, I will get up and clean the house.

45. I went out to buy cold beef. Suddenly a dog passed by and the dog ran away with my cold beef in his mouth. The master found it in time. I clearly heard the owner say to the dog, "Be rational!" I watched the man and a rational dog leave in the afterglow of the sunset.

When I was a child, I often heard that people committed suicide because of the pressure of life. At that time, I knew death, but I didn't understand what stress was. Now that I'm grown up, I know what pressure is and I'm beginning to wonder why so many people are alive.

47. People should learn to find some small pleasures, such as going to the street to see the beauty that doesn't belong to them, going to the bank to see the money that doesn't belong to them, going to the auto show to see the sports car that doesn't belong to them, and then finding a beggar in the street and telling himself: It doesn't matter, those don't belong to him.

48. A little teacher stuttered. One day, students read the text in class. Teacher: Japanese devils enter the village every day. Students' further reading: Japanese devils enter the village to talk about Japan. The teacher next to him smiled. The teacher was very anxious and told the students that no matter how many times I do it every day, you only do it once a day.

49. A Dai found his ex-girlfriend flirting with her new lover in the street. The more he watched it, the angrier he became, trying to humiliate them. So I said hello politely and said contemptuously to my ex-girlfriend's new love: You don't dislike the second-hand goods I used! When he was proud of his creativity, his ex-girlfriend smiled: one inch outside is old, and all inside is new!

50. A woman got lost in the forest, was caught by a monkey, and was spoiled by the Monkey King. A few months later, I went home to have a baby. The husband waited anxiously outside the delivery room. Finally, the doctor came out. Husband: Are mother and child safe? Doctor: Everything is safe. Husband: Boys and girls? Doctor: I don't know. I left home before I was born. Now I'm still on the chandelier and I won't come down.