Who has the complete works of rabbit jokes, ant elephant jokes and so on?

1. A bear is defecating in the Woods, and a rabbit comes. He asked the rabbit, "Has it lost its hair?" The rabbit thought for a moment and said, "Don't lose hair! The bear took a cigarette and asked, "Will it lose its hair?" The rabbit looked at the bear and said, "Don't lose your hair!" " The bear looked at the rabbit suspiciously and asked, "Really don't shed hair?" The rabbit shouted impatiently, "If you don't lose your hair, you won't lose it!"! ! ! "After his words, the bear grabbed the rabbit and said …" Sorry, I forgot my paper. "

The giraffe said, "Little Rabbit, I hope you know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what I eat, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that kind of delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. "

The little white rabbit looked at him without expression.

"Also, in summer, cold water slowly flows through my long neck, which is delicious. What a long neck! White rabbit, can you imagine? "

The white rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever vomited?"

3. One day, a kangaroo was driving along a country road, and suddenly he saw a small white rabbit in the middle of the road, with his ears and body almost lying on the ground, as if listening to something …

So .. Kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously, "What are you listening to, Little White Rabbit?"

"A big truck passed by here half an hour ago ..."

"Wow .. so God! .. how do you know? .."

"He XX! That's how my neck and legs are broken .. "

The ant was walking in the forest and suddenly met an elephant. The ant burrowed into the soil and stretched out a leg.

The little white rabbit was curious and asked, What are you doing?

The ant whispered to it:

Shh ... don't make a sound, watch me trip. ...

One day, the rabbit was writing in front of a cave, and a wolf came up and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The wolf asked again, "What topic?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing about how rabbits eat wolves."

The wolf laughed and said he didn't believe it.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave and the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. Then another fox came over and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The fox asked, "What topic?"

The rabbit replied, "How does the rabbit eat the fox?"

The fox laughed after hearing this, expressing disbelief.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit went out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper.

At this time, in the cave, a lion was sitting on a pile of bones and picking his teeth, while reading the rabbit's paper: the ability of an animal is not determined by its strength, but by who is the boss behind it.

6. One day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots here?" "The boss said,"No. "The little white rabbit left.

The next day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?" "The boss said," I told you, no! " The little white rabbit is gone.

On the third day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?" "The boss is anxious:" How many times have I told you? ! Don't! ! ! If you bother me again, I'll pull out all your teeth with tiger pliers! "

The little white rabbit was frightened and ran away.

On the fourth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have tiger pliers here?" "

The boss said, "No."

The little white rabbit asked, "Well, do you have any carrots?" "

The boss was really angry, took out the tiger pliers and pulled out all the teeth of the little white rabbit.

On the fifth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have carrot juice here?" "

7. The white rabbit and the big bear squatted under the tree and shit.

Bear said to the white rabbit, although you white rabbits are good-looking, you are in trouble! You can tell when it's dirty. That's disgusting!

The little white rabbit said, look at what you said! Isn't it?

Bear said, yes! Bear said as he grabbed the white rabbit and wiped his ass and walked away.

……

8. The white rabbit and the big bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a jar.

An elf came out of the pot and said that he could satisfy their three wishes.

The bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish has come true.

The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish has also come true.

The bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish has come true again.

The little white rabbit said, give it a bike. Its wish has come true again.

The bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches!

The little white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, turn this bear into a homosexual. ...

9.

The first company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Rabbit: Not busy.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: I'm not busy because I can't work for the company more. What does the company want you to do?

* The second company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Very busy.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are disorganized, you will be busy all day. What does the company want you to do?

* The third company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Not bad.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are irrational, there is no "yes" or "no". What does the company want you to do?

* The fourth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Just finished.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are so inefficient, can't you check it after you finish? What does the company want from you?

* The fifth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Some of them have finished the inspection, and now they are doing something else. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are not systematic, won't you do something together? What does the company want from you?

* The sixth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I have finished all the work and am helping others. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you don't have a plan, won't you plan what to do tomorrow? What does the company want from you?

* The seventh company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Today's work is finished, and so is tomorrow's work. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you don't consider the whole, won't you help your colleagues solve problems? What does the company want from you?

* The eighth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I have finished today's work and tomorrow's work, and now I am helping my colleagues.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are too pushy, your help is likely to cause laziness or stress in others. What does the company want from you?

* The ninth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Wait a minute, I'll think about it before I answer you.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: You are very arrogant. I keep asking you questions. Why does the company want you?

* The tenth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tu Tu: I ... I ... No, I don't know ... how to answer you.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you don't even know whether you are busy or not, what does the company want you to do?

* Eleventh Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Fuck you, I quit ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Boss: Hey! If you have personality, our company won't let you go!

10.

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

1 1.

There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest. On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana. The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe, Giraffe, why did you do something to hurt yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit, threw the marijuana behind her and ran with the white rabbit in the forest.

Later, they met an elephant who was about to take cocaine. The white rabbit said to the elephant, "Elephant, why did you do something that hurt yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "Elephants look at cocaine and white rabbits, throw cocaine behind them and run in the forest with white rabbits and giraffes. Later, they met a lion who was going to fight with a poisonous snake. The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, why did you do something that hurt yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The lion looked at the syringe and the white rabbit, threw the syringe behind him and rushed over to beat the white rabbit hard. The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "Why did you hit the white rabbit?" It is so kind. It cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "The lion said angrily," this bastard rabbit drags me around the forest like an idiot every time he eats ecstasy. "

12.

On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, caught nothing and went home.

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home.

On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, and a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit, if you dare to use carrots as bait again, I will kill you!

14.

Testing the police forces in the United States, Hongkong and Chinese mainland,

The United Nations put three rabbits in three forests to see who could find them first.

Before the first forest was discovered by American police. They first spent half a day meeting to make a battle plan and strictly divide the work, and then sent special forces to quickly enter the forest for carpet search. As a result, the meeting was delayed, the rabbit ran away and the task failed!

Then it was the turn of pol.ice in Hong Kong. They sent more than 100 people, and dozens of police cars lined up outside the forest. The leader shouted with a megaphone: "Rabbit, rabbit, you are surrounded, come out and surrender ..." Half a day passed, but nothing happened. Flying Tigers entered the forest to search again, and the mission failed!

Finally, there are only four policemen in China. First, they played mahjong all day. At dusk, a man walked into the forest with a baton. Five minutes later, he heard the screams of animals in the forest. The policeman in China came out with a smile and a cigarette, dragging a bear black and blue behind him. The bear was dying and said, "Stop playing, I'm a rabbit ..."

14.

Three white rabbits picked a mushroom, and the two big ones asked the small ones to get some wild vegetables to eat together. The youngest said I wouldn't go, so you ate my mushrooms. The two older ones said no, and the little rabbit went ~ ~ ~ Half a year passed, and the little rabbit didn't come back. One of the big ones said he couldn't come back, so eat, and the other said he would wait ~ ~. One year passed, and neither of the big ones came back. I know you want to eat my mushrooms.

15.

The little white rabbit met a wolf while walking in the forest. He came up and put two big ear stickers on the little white rabbit and said, "I told you not to wear a hat." The little white rabbit left very grievance. The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and gave the white rabbit two big mouths and said, "I told you to wear a hat." Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger. After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I see. I will handle this matter, so trust the organization." On the same day, the tiger found his partner wolf. "It is wrong for you to do so. This is very difficult for me. " Then he wiped the dust off the table: "Do you think this will work?" You can say, Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat! She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one. So you can hit her. Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones. She found a slim one, and you said you liked the plump one. You can beat her. It is both reasonable and powerful. "The wolf nodded and clapped his hands, and the reverence for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were heard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I hate this in my heart. The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It's the big bad wolf coming. The wolf said, "Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat." "Tu Tu said," So, do you want to be fat or thin? " When the wolf heard this, his heart sank and he became happy again. He said, fortunately, there is a plan B, and he said, "Tutu, Mary, find me a woman." Tu Tu asked, "So, do you prefer plump or slim? "The wolf was silent for 2 seconds and raised his hand to give Tutu two big ear stickers." Shit, I told you not to wear a hat. "