Self-reconstruction of broken-up women

The fifth season of Bojack Centaur is over. As expected, the second episode of this season shows Diane's divorce from Mr. Peanut Butter. I knew they wouldn't be together in the first four seasons. They are two very different people, one is an optimist and the other is a gloomy school with some literature and art.

I always thought Diane would be with Bojack. They are so alike. However, in the real world, we generally don't choose people who are too similar to ourselves, because we can't accept ourselves, let alone each other. People who are too similar can only be soul mates. We prefer to choose complementary people to get married. Some people say that the essence of marriage is to heal, to heal the disabled self in that childhood. Diane thinks Mr. Peanut Butter's sunshine can really cure him. Facts have proved that no one can cure him except himself.

So, there is no love between them? She must be in love, so Diane saw Mr peanut butter flirting with someone else at the divorce party. She cut her hair short and fled to Vietnam to find her roots.

Escape seems to be the first choice of most women after their emotional failure-leaving the sad place and going on a long trip. However, after the trip, Diane got nothing, and life will not automatically get better because you left. Bojack's mother said from the bottom of her heart after her husband died, "I only know that life has become worse since you died." After the end of a relationship, whether it is active or passive breakup, the tangled relationship is over, which is a relief, but it will experience worse pain and life.

Mr. Peanut Butter loves Diane deeply. Although he soon started a new relationship, there was always a place for Diane in his heart. In the last episode, he ran to Diane, and they had a fierce argument and kissed deeply. Their bodies were gone, and the guns went off. Mr. Peanut Butter thinks everything has gone back in time and invites Diane to attend the ceremony. When she woke up, Diane said, I don't want to go back.

At the end of the fifth season, Diane drove away alone at dusk. Although Mr. Peanut Butter hesitated, he accepted the love of the same kind of dog. He proposed on one knee, which will enter his third marriage.

People always hope to correct themselves through different feelings. Diane can't understand Mr. Peanut Butter's impromptu jokes and can't stand his similar life and diet. He was depressed, so he met the same kind of dog. They have the same joke. They can eat the whole table of spaghetti together regardless of their image.

From beginning to end, Mr. Peanut Butter is the one who will never grow up. Has he become love rat? I don't think so. He realized that he was an ordinary person. For Mr. Peanut Butter, it is perfect for him to start a new relationship.

Throughout the fifth season, Diane is bright-eyed, and she has many points that resonate with women.

1. Should I be friends after breaking up with my ex?

Why do many people still struggle after breaking up? You might say, because of emotional inertia, after all, it was like this before separation. The light is broken, and he can help to repair it. He has difficulty in choosing clothes. You can still help make a choice as usual. You think it's just a little effort, even a fire. You can have sheets when you miss each other, because it used to be like this.

But don't forget, why did you separate in the first place? Because you don't love each other. Now you are entangled because you are in love with each other again? I think the answer is no, you just love this free relationship and don't need to be responsible for each other. So, don't be silly. Being friends after breaking up often brings double harm.

2. In the face of loneliness, should we start a new relationship quickly?

After the lovelorn, no one in the mobile phone WeChat asked questions 24 hours a day, no one called to care about what you had for lunch, and no one kept calling after work. You become sensitive, self-pitying and afraid of loneliness, so you are eager to start a new relationship immediately after breaking up.

After being lovelorn, people lost their feelings and wanted to find a new home to transfer their feelings quickly. At this time, they often misjudge because of their desire for food. Just like a person visiting a supermarket when he is very hungry, he often buys a lot of things he doesn't like to eat, and sometimes he buys the most convenient food from himself just for convenience. The truth of love is the same. When you are lonely, you will catch a person in a hurry to fall in love, and there will often be misjudgments. The final outcome may be that old wounds have not healed and new ones have been added. Therefore, please choose a high-quality single life after lovelorn.

In addition, solitude after lovelorn can make people reflect on the problems in the last paragraph and make you more calm when choosing the next paragraph. Many times, I think that falling in love is like a mirror, which allows you to look back at yourself and find what you really want and really fit. Self is a lesson that women have to do all their lives.

3. When you stop trying to please and wait for redemption, start a new relationship.

When is the best time to start a new relationship? There is no fixed answer. I remember reading an article when I was very young. The kitten asked her mother what happiness was. Mother cat replied that happiness is your own tail. You can't catch it if you try hard, but when you strut forward, happiness will naturally follow you. When you are no longer in a relationship to please and please each other, when you no longer wait for someone to save you, when you have an independent self, new love may naturally appear. In the past, my imaginary marriage was that two semicircles met and combined into a complete circle. Now I think this is a wrong idea. A good marriage is when two complete circles meet and then intersect. Such a marriage is stable. What is waiting to be saved is not imperfection, but self-improvement. The cultivation of this process actually requires such a high-quality single life to find yourself.

After being lovelorn, what you need is friendship, not a new relationship. In the long run, your relationship when you are in deep pain will bring you more sadness almost without exception. Friendship is helpful to you. For you at this stage, building friendship is more meaningful than romance.

Think of the circus wire rope. The wire rope is placed between two high platforms. One platform represents your sense of security in love, and the other platform represents the sense of security that you need to explore inside. You need to walk through the wire rope during the adjustment period to find your inner security. If you hide in the apartment, stay at home or don't associate with people at all, you will lose your balance and fall.

If you are deeply involved in a long-term commitment relationship, and the investment in this relationship is better than the investment in personal growth, you may also lose your balance and fall. One morning, you wake up from your sleep and find yourself trying to please each other in order to maintain a relationship, rather than trying to be the person you want to be.

4. Please yourself and be happy when you are alone.

From ex-boyfriend to enjoying loneliness, and then to self, it seems that every woman can talk about it, but it is too difficult to really calm down and face real life. How to live alone for a high-quality single student? I remember a book about French women's happiness class tells a methodology-love and uselessness.

My understanding of love is to love myself. If you don't even love yourself, it's basically wrong to please others and let them respond to your love more. Love yourself is the premise, but do some useless things, create a new circle of friends, do your best to finish the work, get a sense of receiving goods, and please yourself in life and work. Research shows that women's happiness only comes from two aspects, one is to satisfy vanity spiritually (it is easy for a woman to satisfy vanity when she becomes beautiful, so there is no doubt), and the other is to have a sense of security economically (to make money hard, wake up from a daydream early, and strive to achieve it in this extremely depressed life, and a full purse is the greatest sense of security).