Everyday up cold joke classic

Daily joke collection classic

Daily joke collection classic 1:

1. Excellent female secretary:? Good morning, boss! ? The best female secretary: Boss, it's morning! ?

2. Mom said that food is very expensive and money is very cheap recently. . .

3. The Shanghai and Shenzhen stocks are high and low, which contains a high amount of decline! It's affordable to fall one day over the past five days!

4. A classmate bought a disc? Male mosquito music? Mosquito repellent incense Everyone asks? How to make male mosquitoes happy? Female mosquitoes are all smoked when they come out to suck blood, and male mosquitoes don't just take the opportunity

5. What is overtime pay? This thing is like a woman. Everyone is talking about it, but no one has seen it.

6. I went shopping with Mr. Chen that day and saw pomegranate vinegar. Mr. Chen was surprised that pomegranate can also be used as vinegar! Later, when he saw jiaozi vinegar, he was surprised to say that jiaozi can also make vinegar! I saw the old vinegar and pointed to him and said, Mr. Chen, you are poor.

7. Do you know what Shanghai women and Taliban men have in common? That is to leave American men alone!

8. I bought food in the canteen just now. Me: I want a bowl of egg noodles. Attendant: There is no meat left. Me: What else? Waiter: There are ham and beef. Me: I'll have a bowl of ham and egg noodles. Attendant: There are no noodles.

9. Three tadpoles went to a restaurant for dinner. When the waiter brought a plate of braised bullfrogs to the next table, the three tadpoles hugged each other and sang sadly. I don't want to I don't want to grow up?

1. The four modernizations have finally been realized: feminization of men, pettiness of women, aristocratization of pets and illiteracy of aristocrats.

Classic 2:

1. A classmate, on Singles Day a few days ago, he sent a message to a favorite girl wishing her a happy Singles Day (wanting to take the opportunity to confess), and the girl replied:? I don't have to pass it, huh?

2. I broke up with my girlfriend, and we agreed not to talk to each other until we die of old age. The next day, I checked the monthly subscription of my mobile phone and found that there were 499 minutes left in the monthly subscription of point-to-point calls between us, so I sent her a short message: Our' lovers' call subscription still has 499 minutes left. Why don't we work together for another month and share it next month? Girlfriend said: Yes, you can't move cheaply ...

3. Girlfriend: Husband, my classmate asked me to go shopping. Give me some money quickly.

Boyfriend: Do you go out with other men with money?

Girlfriend poses in an S-shape, and says, You underestimate me. If I go out with a man, do I need to bring money?

4. Girlfriend: I just saw that you were a potential stock and bought it on dips. I didn't know that there was no upward trend for several years. I might as well choose a blue chip stock directly at the beginning.

Boyfriend: Be content. With your eyes, you will definitely buy PetroChina.

5. girlfriend: do you miss me?

boyfriend: yes.

girlfriend: where do you think?

boyfriend: everywhere.

girlfriend: when not! ?

boyfriend: I don't want to if you don't ask. . .

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