WHO has classic jokes!!!

The Ant and the Elephant

An ant saw an elephant on the road. The ant burrowed into the soil with only one leg exposed.

The little rabbit saw it and asked in confusion: "Why are your legs exposed?" The ant said: "Shh!" Don't make a sound, I'll trip my little son! "

The next day, the rabbit saw the whole nest of ants lining up and hurried away, and asked why?

The ant replied: "Yesterday, an elephant was tripped by one of our brothers. She was seriously injured after the fall, so we donated blood to her. "

Not long after, the rabbit saw a large number of ants coming back and asked what was going on. One ant said: "Oh, there is only one with the same blood type as the elephant. Leave him alone to draw blood. Yes, enough. "

On the third day, the rabbit came and asked the ant: Is that girl alive? The ant said helplessly: I carried it back. Damn it is so heavy that my waist is bent from exhaustion. That girl is too heavy. The elephant fell down unexpectedly!

After the elephant recovered, he sued Ant. The court ruled that Ant tripping the elephant was malicious injury and he was jailed for 6 months.

Ant refused." The maximum penalty for personal injury is two months in prison. Why was I sentenced to half a year? "

Judge: "The sentence for personal injury is two months, and for tripping an elephant is racial discrimination, an additional four months~~~"

So Ant filed a complaint with the High Court: We and elephants are equal, so how can we be "discriminated"? Please ask the High Court to rule clearly and clear our innocence, and sue the judge for false accusation.

One day, the rabbit suddenly saw an elephant hiding behind a tree. One leg was stretched out and he asked, "What are you doing?" "

The elephant said: "Hush! Don't say anything, I'm waiting for that ant turtle son to come, so that I can mess with him and avenge my brother. "

As soon as the rabbit left the elephant, he heard the elephant scream, so he immediately ran back to see it. On the way, he met an ant panting on the roadside. Before the rabbit asked the ant, he heard the ant speak for himself: TMD I wanted to stun me, but luckily I found out that my foot was broken by it!

The elephant was sent back to the hospital because the femoral artery was broken, and he lost more blood this time. 80L of continuous transfusion was not enough, and the blood bank was in crisis, and the only ant whose blood type matched the elephant had collapsed after the last blood transfusion.

A few days later, the elephant suddenly died, and everyone ran away. Look at it. I found a female ant next to her and asked her how the elephant died. The female ant cried and said: I just told her that I was pregnant with her child.

The female ant laid a bunch of eggs, hatched them, and hatched out a bunch of ostriches. Damn it! It was so unjust that the elephant died

Answer: jacke0119 - Probation Level 11-15 21 : 40

On the eve of June 1st, Liu Xiaohua, a fifth-grade student in Class 1, asked for leave because of a cold. The head teacher instructed the class cadres to organize a spontaneous visit to Liu Xiaohua's home to express condolences. The next day, the class blackboard newspaper published an article "Class News", the full text is as follows:

Watch it slowly!!!

This class news pp Yesterday morning, The sun is shining brightly and the flowers are blooming. Classmate Liu Xiaohua’s house was filled with laughter and laughter. Fifth grade class one monitor Zhao Guan and deputy squad leader Zhang Liaoliao, accompanied by sports committee member Ouyang Mengnan and entertainment committee member Li Meimei, traveled a thousand kilometers to the home of class member Liu Xiaohua, who was suffering from a cold and low fever, to bring him holiday greetings and Best wishes.

Monitor Zhao and Deputy Monitor Zhang visited Liu Xiaohua's small room with great interest and played four games of "Contra" with great interest, enjoying themselves with ordinary classmates. Then, the class leader and the parents of classmate Liu Xiaohua cordially started a family affair. Monitor Zhao also happily recalled the past when he and Liu Xiaohua started cheating together last year. During the conversation, squad leader Zhao emphasized many times with concern: "If Liu Xiaohua is sick, don't do your homework. Get a good rest, your body is the capital of revolution!" Liu Xiaohua said excitedly: "Thank you class cadres for your concern! I will definitely win." I will overcome all difficulties and return to the warm group as soon as possible, among my dear teachers and classmates.”

Then, monitor Zhao and his party happily kicked the shuttlecock in front of Liu Xiaohua’s house! .

The blue sky is like a wash, and the birds are also infected by the collective warmth, chirping and singing about the beautiful life.

At noon, Liu’s father bought fragrant and delicious beef jerky of a certain brand and freshly squeezed orange juice, and treated squad leader Zhao and his party to a banquet. During the dinner, the guests and hosts had an in-depth and pleasant bilateral discussion on the issue of whether primary school students would get stomach upset if they eat two popsicles in a row.

1. The talks were always conducted in a cordial and friendly atmosphere

2. The students reached a broad consensus on Liu Xiaohua’s illness.

3. And admit that there is only one school in the world, and the class is an integral part of the school.

4. Student Liu Xiaohua said that he would arm himself with the great ideas of "Three Dai Biaos", Fight the disease.

5. We must unite tightly around the class group with the class teacher as the center, focus on learning and development...

6. Student Liu Xiaohua uses the spirit of unnecessary heroism In the fight against the disease, we have achieved a staged victory, and our body is further developing in a good direction.

7. Accompanying the visit was Comrade Zhang Erdan, a physics class representative and former deputy director of the Health Duty Committee.

8. In order to cooperate with this visit, the school leaders went to the telecommunications bureau to set up a hotline number 168XXXXX to facilitate other students who could not go there spontaneously to express condolences to Liu Xiaohua, including how Xiaohua got sick and how he got it. What is the disease? Can it be cured? Guess the content and win prizes. Those who answer correctly will be rewarded with small red flowers...

9. In principle, the "Minute of Condolences Regarding the Condolences for Student Liu Xiaohua's Sickness" is adopted and distributed to the head teachers of each class for careful study and discussion

10 . We must firmly grasp the fundamental point of taking medicine, so that Liu Xiaohua can truly enjoy the fruits of condolences from classmates and teachers, and strive to achieve the continuous reduction of disease bacteria. The class's score plan outline for this semester proposes that students' academic performance should increase by about 5% during this semester. This is an extremely arduous task. Achieving this expected goal requires both continued down-to-earth work and new ideas and new measures.

11. According to a report from XX School in XX City on May 25: When the students who participated in the condolence meeting for Liu Xiaohua, a fifth-grade student, were discussed in groups, they believed that Comrade Zhao’s report on the first year of the class was The important strategic opportunity period and the discussion of concentrating efforts to comprehensively build an excellent class express the collective consciousness of the whole class, represent the wishes of the parents of the whole class, and further enhance our sense of historical mission and urgency. Based on the actual work, participants said that they must seize the important strategic opportunity period in the first semester of this year, accelerate the study of English and Chinese composition systems, and complete the four main courses (English, Mathematics, English, and Politics) that are closely related to the whole class, and lay the foundation for a comprehensive Work hard to build an excellent class in the whole school.

12. The squad leader immediately instructed the health committee member to strictly control the hygiene to prevent such accidents from happening again.

13. The squad leader said that this year is the 3rd anniversary of the establishment of diplomatic relations between classmate Liu Xiaohua and I. Over the past three years, with the joint efforts of both parties, the friendly relationship has continued to develop. The two families have close contacts, and their gatherings and exchanges are becoming increasingly active. The development of the relationship between the two parties benefits from mutual respect, mutual trust, and non-interference in each other's personal affairs; economic mutual benefit, complementary advantages, and common development; both parties follow the purpose of the school charter and the recognized classmate relationship in class affairs Basic principles, *** jointly promote peace, stability and development of both parties and the class

2 What is "but"

The primary school students are telling a story: "The cat met the mouse and turned into a A tiger, but when he saw a tiger, he turned into a mouse again

"

Someone asked him, what does this "but" mean?

He thought for a while and replied:

"This is an animal larger than a cat and smaller than a tiger."

3 Bet

Two friends are betting.

"I dare say you don't have the guts to enter that dark room alone!"

"You say I don't have the guts? Then come with me and I'll let you have a look. ! ”