Are there any football jokes?

Zidane: "Guess what I will do when I get paid?"

Figo: "For your wife?"

Zidane: "No, it's in the bank."

Figo: "That's a man."

Zidane: "Then give my wife the passbook."

Football fields and cemeteries

After a Brazilian farmer bought a piece of land near a city, he immediately drove a tractor to farm and dug a front tooth from the ground with a plow bowl.

"Bad luck." He murmured a word and went on plowing. 100 meters later, he dug out another tooth.

"It's really puzzling," the farmer said to himself. He walked ahead to plow the field. After about 30 steps, the plow dug another tooth out of the soil.

"There must be something wrong with this." He cried and turned the tractor around and drove home.

That night, he wrote a letter to the original owner of this land: "Is the land I bought before a grave?

Land? I beg you to give me my money back. I don't like haunted places "

Two days later, a telegram came: "Don't be angry, this used to be a football field."

Kriner and T-shirts.

Kriner, a bald referee, misjudged a penalty from the Netherlands in Euro 2000, which led to the defeat of the Czech team, and Kriner was hated by all Czechs.

But eight weeks later, Kriner still chose to go to the Czech Republic for a holiday. He is afraid that Czech fans will retaliate against him and dare not show up in public, so he is cautious everywhere. But to his surprise, he observed that many Czechs were wearing T-shirts with their heads and Czech characters printed on them, and he was secretly happy. He thinks the Czechs have forgiven themselves. He didn't know Czech, so he asked what these characters meant. Someone replied, "Down with Kriner!"

Honest choice

The football coach said: Boys, today you are going to play against a world-famous team. I hope you behave yourself, play honestly and try to win!

You'd better make it clear that some players react, either play honestly or win!

Coach's mahjong

Xu Genbao, listen, don't die. No matter how big you listen, you dare to point. Sometimes I can clap my chest and swear that I can get some guns to protect the village when I see the other two families in a hurry. Qi Wusheng, unable to get away for three times, felt the back of his hand for a while, and complained about staring at death at home for a while. When I finally arrived in the village, I saw seven pairs of little hands touching and listening, and I couldn't help crying with joy. After two rounds of touching and scrutiny, how did I become a "xianggong"? Chi Shangbin, not good at Yamato, is good at Xiao Pi and. And staring at the next home is extremely lifeless. When someone listens, he would rather break the card than fire.

Huang Zhuang is willing to listen to the brand of Qinglong. Jin Zhiyang is our temperament. Holding a few hands is full of ambition and you can express your vision to others. When someone listens to the children's cards, they can try their best to incite people who don't listen to them to try guns, rarely even give orders, and sometimes they can hold back. I can't help it Let's give him a pound. There is another person whose name is really embarrassing. This man loves to sit in the village, and he can't sit down after sitting. The reason is that I have collected people who play cards. This guy's a good marksman, too. We'll finish three rounds, and he can hit a billion rounds. And there is a new theory of connecting villages, that is, dead mice can't feel cold.

You're asleep! He shot!

That night, the wind was buzzing. When Grosso's curveball bypassed Barak and Ram, then bypassed Lyman and entered the corner of the German gate, death came. There was silence in the small yard, and all the breathing seemed to stop. Let the glittering and translucent snowflakes fly in the sky and fall into the eyes of the wind to become glittering and translucent tears!

What makes men so obsessed with the World Cup? Is it because it feels different every time? Or is it because it explains the rise, glow, decline and disappearance of a man? Men's fanaticism, shouting, tears and passion are vividly displayed here! When the ball shot into the goal of the German team like a bow and arrow, I believe that the time of the Germans stopped and their bodies became stiff. This time, the god of wealth was attached to the kangaroo corps, even making the Germans cry!

That night, you fell asleep and he shot! The beer in my hand has already been replaced by a cup of strong tea. No abuse, no venting, and no more. ...

It hurts! You hurt me that night!

Ronaldo's kiss

One day, a China female fan went to Yunnan to watch the training match of Real Madrid. She was very happy because she saw her idol Cristiano Ronaldo, so she took out her notebook and called Ronnie's name, but Ronnie just ignored her.

After a long struggle, she was hungry and took out the sausage to eat. Halfway through the meal, she found a bald head staring at her through barbed wire. She looked intently, ah, it was Ordos.

She immediately picked up the book and ran over. Half a sausage in his mouth. "Give me your autograph," begged the female fan, but blossoming kept her eyes fixed on her face, ignoring what that face was saying. Then Ronnie motioned for her to put her head in the past, and she did, but he found that Ronnie also put his mouth in the past. Her face turned red with fear and her heart was about to jump out, thinking that he would not be interested in me. Just surprised, Ronnie's mouth was on hers, and soon Ronnie was there.

Her husband's special care.

Roberta Devbo's husband is a football coach. After more than 30 years of marriage, as long as his football team has a game, he can't think about anything and concentrate on the game. One day, Dave's husband was in a particularly bad mood, but he still refused to comfort his wife and go to the game. Devbaofu was angry from the heart: "Frank, you didn't even attend my funeral for a ball game."

The husband said to his wife very calmly, "Roberta, don't worry." I will never arrange your funeral on the day when there is a ball game. "