Read classic English jokes?

Folk joke stories, like fairy tales and other folk literature, are literary genres created and passed down orally by working people in the long-term productive labor and struggle with nature. I carefully collected some classic English jokes for everyone to enjoy and learn!

Female bumper sticker: a little joke about classic English

So many people, but few who people can afford me.

God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.

If there is no chocolate in heaven, I won't go.

My mother is a guilt trip travel agency.

Princess, with enough experience with the prince,

Looking for frogs.

Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better and richer.

Don't treat me like a queen.

If you want to have breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

When the smoke alarm went off, dinner was ready.

I'm out of estrogen.-and I have a gun.

Men have feelings, too, but it's like ... Does WHO care?

Next mood swings: 6 minutes.

Warning: I have my own attitude and I know how to use it.

Of course I don't look busy ... I did it right the first time.

You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up.

The pressure is so great that no one can suffocate.

I am one of the bad things that happen to good people.

If you don't leave, how can I miss you?

Sorry, I look interested. I didn't.

If we eat like we do, I will be quick, cheap and easy.

Don't upset me! I have no place to hide the body.

A little joke about classic English: childbirth pills

Once, a woman was giving birth; It's hard for her to bear the pain. The doctor came to her husband and wife and told them about a new experimental drug, which can make a woman transfer 25% of her pain to her father. The husband felt sorry for his wife, so he decided to give it a try.

The wife took the pill, and a few minutes later, the husband said, "I don't feel anything." You women are babies. Take another pill, I can handle it. " So the wife took another pill. The same thing happened. Her husband told her to take another pill. The same thing. So far, she has transferred 75% of her pain to her husband. She felt a little pain, but her husband still didn't feel it. He is convinced that women are complete cowards. He told her, "Have another slice. It didn't hurt me at all. Let me take away all the pain. " She does. Now they all feel good.

A few hours later, my wife gave birth to a beautiful boy. The next day, they came home with their newborn son, only to find the postman dead on the doorstep.

A little joke about classic English: fishing experience

A couple went to a holiday resort in the north for a holiday. Husband likes fishing and wife likes reading. One morning after Hu * * * came back from fishing, he got up early that morning and took a nap. While he was sleeping, his wife decided to take the boat out.

She was not familiar with the lake, so she rowed out, stopped the boat and began to read her book. The fishing and hunting supervisor was on his boat, parked the boat beside the woman's boat and asked her what she was doing.

She said, "read my book." The game warden told her that she was in a restricted fishing area, and she explained that she was not fishing.

He replied, "But you have all these devices. I will have to take you away and put you on the account! "

The lady was angry with the warden for being so unreasonable. She said to the warden, "If you do that, I will accuse you of rape."

Shocked by her statement, the warden replied, "But I didn't even touch you."

The lady replied, "yes, but you have all the equipment!" "

Little joke about classic English: doctor's advice

A woman came to the doctor's office with her husband.

After the physical examination, the doctor called his wife into his office alone. He said, "Your beard has a very serious stress disorder. If you don't do it, you Hu * * * will definitely die. "

"Prepare a healthy breakfast for him every morning. Be happy at all times. Make him a nutritious meal for lunch. Prepare a particularly delicious meal for him at dinner. Don't burden him with housework. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make him more stressed. No nagging. And most importantly, have sex with your beard several times a week. If you can do this in the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will fully recover. "

On the way home, Hu * * * asked his wife again. "What did the doctor say?"

"He said you were going to die," she answered.

A joke about classic English: the shocked undertaker

One night, a mortician worked late. His job is to examine the bodies before they are sent for burial or cremation.

When he examined the body of Bernie Schwartz who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery:

Bernie Schwartz's penis is the longest he has ever seen!

"I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," said the undertaker, "but I can't let you go to the cremation with such a huge penis. It must be left to future generations. "

In this way, the coroner used his tools to remove the scars of the deceased.

The coroner stuffed his prize into his briefcase and took it home.

The first person he showed was his wife.

"I have something to show you. You won't believe it," he said, opening his briefcase.

"Oh, my God!" She screamed, "Bernie Schwartz is dead!"