Seek daily progress.

A man was fishing and caught a squid.

Then the squid said, "Don't kill me, don't kill me, please let me go."

The man said, "OK, let me test you some questions."

Squid said, "Take the exam, take the exam quickly!" "

Then the man roasted it ...

2. Qian Feng: "Why is the penguin's belly white?"

everyone is at a loss.

Qian Feng: "Because penguins have short hands, they can only touch the front in the shower."

3. A cake got lost in the forest and couldn't walk out. Guess who encouraged him to go out?

pig, because of chocolate cake.

4. jolin = 9

A boy said that his nickname was jolin, and people began to think about the reason. Wang Han: Did the vegetables grow taller as soon as they were drenched, so he was called Jolin. Qian Feng: I know, because he was 1.9 meters, it was like a cold wind blowing when he finished talking, and the boy kept nodding wildly (dude, you know me ~ ~) < p He passes by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day a fire broke out in that cornfield.

All the corns turned into popcorn. After the birds flew by ... they thought it was snowing, and they died of cold ...

6. Customer: "Why doesn't the wine you sell smell of alcohol?"

The waiter took a smell and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot to mix wine for you."

7. There was a steamed stuffed bun. He was hungry and ate himself.

8. A match was walking on the road. It felt itchy, so it scratched its hair, and then it caught fire.

9. One day Xiaoqiang came home crying and said, "Mom, mom, my classmates at school all say my head is a kite."

then mom said, "how come? Won't it? Come and run with me. "

1. Qian Feng: Do you know the name of the tiger?

od: tiger

Qian Feng: wrong! !

crowd: what?

Qian Feng: Danny!

Everyone:

Qian Feng: Because the tiger is Danny (eyeing)

11 ... There was a mental derangement who got a pistol from nowhere and walked in a small black alley. Suddenly I met a young man, and the psycho put him on the ground without saying anything and put a gun to his head! Q: What is 1+1=? The young man is frightened! After thinking for a long time, I answered with trepidation: equal to 2''? The psycho shot him without hesitation! Then I dragged the gun in my arms and said coldly, "You know too much."

12. There is a female math teacher who is from Sichuan. Her Mandarin is OK, but "kissing" and "asking" are always confused. Once she finished a question for us and asked everyone, "Do you understand? If you don't understand, you can get up and kiss me. " The students were surprised when they heard it. Everyone looked at me and I looked at yours. No one got up. She added, "Why, I'm embarrassed to get up and kiss, aren't I?" When the students heard it, they were even more shocked. No one asked, and they said, "I'm too old to' kiss'. Well, I won't come to my office after class and' kiss' me when no one is around."

13. An American, a Japanese and a China are exploring the jungle. As a result, all of them were arrested by the cannibal tribe. But the tribal chief said, "I'm in a good mood today, and I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board." "Get the board first is American. He said, "Before hitting the board, put a cushion on my ass. "Pad, the board rained down; In the past, 7 boards were ok. After 7 boards, the cushions were smashed, and then there was blood on the boards ... After that, America always left. After seeing this, the Japanese asked for 1 mattresses. After 1, 2, 3 ... 1, the Japanese got up and patted their ass, nothing; Then he boasted about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with a smelly mouth, and wanted to sit and watch the Chinese people's drama. China people slowly get down, leisurely say: "come, give me the Japanese mat. "

14. Son:" Dad, are you free on Friday afternoon? "

Dad: "What is it?"

Son: "The school is going to hold a mini-parent forum!"

Dad: "What is a mini-parents' forum?"

Son: "Only the head teacher, you and me!"

15. The child came into the toy store with a fake paper money and wanted to buy a toy plane. The buddy said, "Kid, your money is not real." The child replied, "Is your plane real?"

16. according to the requirements of the new school, students who transfer to another school must fill in the "transfer self-assessment form". In the column "Have you ever been punished for cheating in the exam", a word "No" was filled in. The next column is "explain the reason", and Liangliang continues to write: "Never missed".

17. There were five people walking side by side in the street. A billboard fell from the sky, but only three people died. Why?

Because it was McDonald's ("M" m”)

18. "The number you dialed cannot be connected", why?

Because Ningbo is far from Beijing.

19. There was a man climbing

When he was about to climb to the top of the mountain, a wolf tried to burn the rope with a burning candle. The man said a word and the wolf blew it out.

The man said, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

2. In the first phase of the college entrance examination star class, two girls took the math department of Fudan University, but they all said that their dream was to make a movie.

Wang Han: "I'm sorry for the teachers in Fudan University, but that's what our children in Hunan do. They took the math department, but their dream was to make a movie."

Qian Feng: "Now it's a digital movie!"

21. How much does a star weigh? 8 grams, because the star is 8 grams (Starbucks)

22. Once a group of young scientists came, a Beijing baby said that he had five poisons in his house, and spiders made webs at his bedside. Then Qian Feng said, "That's one good thing, there are no mosquitoes ..."

A cold wind blew, and Wang Han and Ou Di immediately got out of the way, so they came to interview you alone.

Qian Feng walked up to the little scientist and asked coldly, Do you have mosquitoes in your house?

23. A man looks like an onion and cried when he walked …….

24. Wang Han: "Turn 36 degrees."

Qian Feng: "Wow, that's hot!"

25. Wang Han: "The tea is cold." Ou Di: "No, Qian Feng didn't tell a cold joke. How can the tea be cold!" " Ou Di then touched Qian Feng with his elbow: "Come to a cold joke, Xiaofeng."

26. The joke last night was that astronauts used adult diapers, and Qian Feng quickly responded, saying, "Adult diapers are not wet, so give a personal name." Wang Han said coldly that they were not interested in knowing the answer, so they ignored him. However, Ou Di couldn't help it later and said, "Brother, I'm sorry, I want to know Qian Feng's answer."

Qian Feng immediately stood up excitedly and proudly-adult diaper, Bao Qingtian, Bao ~ ~ ~ adult! ! !

I'll give these first, and hope to adopt them.