Who can tell me some jokes?

My daughter-in-law wants to go shopping with her best friend and ask me for money. I sat on the sofa, smoking with my legs crossed, and asked, "Is 20 ok?" Daughter-in-law thought for a moment and nodded gently. My daughter-in-law's best friend was surprised that I obeyed the daughter-in-law system. I only took 20 from my wallet, then handed it to my daughter-in-law and put it in my pocket. .

A friend told me an incident with her childhood boyfriend. I was shopping with him that day, and suddenly a child poked around the corner. She exclaimed to him, "It's just like when you were a child! He compared the gesture of "shh" and whispered, "That was when I was a child! I took a time machine! " My friend said angrily, "What are you doing here? "Come and see if I will be with you when I grow up," he said. 、

I once threatened at 40 degrees that I would rather freeze to death than become a dog. Until today, I was frozen into a dog, because I was too young to understand that beautiful promise.

When the foolish old man lay dying, his descendants gathered around the bed and watched him open his mouth again and again. The eldest son knew that his wish had not come true, so he leaned in to listen. Yu Gong said with difficulty, "Move mountains, move mountains." . . The eldest son paused for a moment: "it's shiny, and there are little stars all over the sky." " .。 Thank you, Dad!

On campus, if you can't find a girlfriend, please don't think that girls are rich and dislike your poverty. Please don't think that girls are powerful and don't value your background. Please don't think that girls are short-sighted and can't see your efforts and bright future. Campus is not as dark as society. The girls on campus are just children. They just don't like your ugliness

Stop joking. Have you ever seen the fish in the fish-flavored shredded pork? Is there a wife in the old lady's cake? Is there Lei Feng in Leifeng Tower? Therefore, it is understandable that there is no money in the bra and wallet!

Going to school in the morning, I was stopped at the door and asked why I didn't wear a school uniform! Isn't today Saturday? Who stipulates that you can't wear school uniforms on Saturday! Then tell me who stipulated that you should go to school on Saturday! I left without looking back, leaving the teacher alone in the wind. I'm a tm courier. Give me a school uniform! !

Don't mess with my father. After watching more than 700 episodes of Conan, I know more than 600 kinds of killing methods, master more than 200 kinds of killing methods in the secret room, know hundreds of kinds of poisons, make various alibis, and skillfully use fishing lines, tape recorders, daggers, poisonous needles and other tools to do cases. Remember, don't mess with me, or you won't know how you died!

She is the most boring employee in the whole company. I didn't expect to be accosted by the manager one day. "I have a car. Can I give it to you?" Her heart beat faster. She shook her head and said, "No." "You're welcome." "Does your lover mind?" "No" "How embarrassing ..." "Hehe, do you want to give me a word?" She finally nodded bravely, but she couldn't help adding, "What you gave me is mine. Don't go back. "

"My life circle is very small. Walking around, I found familiar friends everywhere, but it was really big. I can't find anyone like you.