How many parents know something about child psychology?

Very few, most parents work without certificates. In fact, there is a lot of knowledge in being a parent. Lu Xun's essay seems to be "How We Become Fathers". How can some people be parents if they don’t look like human beings themselves?

Whether you are engaged in a related career or not, you can learn more about preschool education and child psychology in your spare time, which will be of great help to your child's growth. Preschool education will lay the foundation for life. .

When it comes to raising children, many parents have a headache - today's children are all "money shredders". They need to buy milk powder and teething sticks when they are born... When they grow up, they need to learn swimming, dancing, Fencing... none of the skills should be missing. If you don't do well after school, you may need to take a remedial class... There were statistics on the Internet that showed that raising a child is equivalent to killing a millionaire. Many families Childcare expenses already account for 50% of the average family income. Is raising children just a waste of money? Not really. In addition to these material expenses, raising children also involves countless psychological pressures.

The child woke up in the middle of the night and cried, and finally fell asleep. It was time for us to get up and go to work. The next day the class was listless; tutoring homework, picking this, playing with that, and learning textbook knowledge No, heresy is self-taught. Some parents even tied their own hands with ropes in order to control themselves from losing their temper when teaching their children to do homework. Many parents have said that before their children grow up, they themselves have entered the threshold of depression.

We can work hard to make money to satisfy our children's material life, but children's growth is not something that can be improved rapidly with a slap in the face. Although the child is young, he still knows how to reason. Many times if we can put ourselves in the child's shoes and understand the child's heart, we can solve many problems. What is the difference between parents who understand some psychology and parents who don’t understand psychology? As parents who have no foundation in psychology, what psychological knowledge can make it easier for us to raise our children?

What’s different about parents who know a little bit about psychology?

Some people may want to know what unique education methods parents who have studied psychology have? As a college teacher, I read a lot of psychology books in my spare time. In fact, in my opinion, there is not much uniqueness about parents who understand some psychological knowledge, but because they have some reserves of psychology-related knowledge, they can better understand their children's hearts and emotions, and they also appear to be more effective in their children's education. More rational. So, in what aspects is this rationality in parenting mainly reflected?

First, if you learn a little psychology, you will feel less anxious. Nowadays, many parents like to watch parenting accounts. According to my observation, many parenting accounts on the market often publish some unrealistic remarks in order to attract attention. After extensive publicity and promotion, they become IQ taxes that parents have to pay in the process of parenting. For example, we often hear and see articles like "If you miss these golden periods, your children will become stupid" and "Eat these three foods to supplement your children's calcium for a year"... Such articles often capture parents' anxiety about "let their children win at the starting line" and use professional terms such as "golden period of language" and "golden period of brain development" to encourage parents to buy their own products.

But do these products really work? If a child does not undergo certain training or learn a certain skill at a certain stage, does it mean that the child's brain is not developed? Some parents often love their children so much that they hurriedly enroll their children in various tutoring institutions and purchase various products without careful analysis. In the end, money was spent and things were bought, but the child didn't see anything extraordinary about it.

Compared with ordinary parents, parents who have studied psychology are more rational and can clearly understand that in every psychological theory, the so-called sample is just a statistic of averages. Understand that experimental results are often low-probability events, and the development of most children is the result of a combination of genes and external environment. When psychologists collect samples, they mostly select children at a certain stage and cannot cover all children.

Therefore, in the mixed parenting market, as long as parents understand these principles, they can filter out a lot of useless information and avoid falling into useless anxiety.

Second, if you learn a little psychology, you will be less anxious. Parents who understand a little bit of psychology can often understand the characteristics of normal development of their children at each stage, so they can accept small problems in their children's growth with a more peaceful attitude. Take teething as an example. Generally, children start to grow teeth at 7 months old, and they will all grow in around 1 year old. My child's first tooth came out at a normal time, but the rest of the teeth did not come out as scheduled. The elderly at home were very worried. According to the normal growth pattern of people, all teeth will grow sooner or later. It’s just a matter of sooner or later, so I didn’t pay much attention at the time. After that, the child’s teeth grew healthy. Therefore, if we understand some psychological knowledge and encounter things that we did not expect outside of our children's growth, we as parents will feel more calm.

Third, you can make fewer mistakes in your children’s education. A mother shared her parenting experience with me. She said that her children would become very well-behaved if they pretended to tell them, "Mom won't want you if they cry again." In fact, this threatening approach to stop crying is a big mistake. For parents' jokes, children aged four or five will take them seriously and feel frightened and intimidated. As the number of jokes increases, the children's psychological pressure will become greater and greater. Finally, they will gradually drift away from their parents and become alienated. .

We often say, "We must learn to praise children, and at the same time, we must encourage children to be brave in trial and error and learn to be strong." Or, as many parenting experts say, "Parents and children must always put themselves in someone else's shoes." These familiar parenting principles actually contain certain psychological knowledge.

In fact, when it comes to early education issues, the most important thing to do is to calm down the parents themselves: the child’s intelligence does not need to be extraordinary (in fact, extraordinary children account for a very small proportion of all children), and they will not be able to do so in the future. You can not stand out and become a dragon or a phoenix, but your children must be healthy both physically and mentally

This problem may be a major failure for most parents

In China it is basically equal to 0

In fact, there are very few. During the many years that I have been giving lectures, parents are willing to listen to the lectures and methods. They rarely buy books or read after class, so as to truly understand their children!