Laugh at campus humor jokes

The complete works of hilarious campus humor jokes

Jokes come from life, and the language form after artistic processing is artistic language. Next, I will bring you a complete set of hilarious campus humor jokes. I hope you will like it.

Laughing at the humorous joke on campus 1 1, the teacher criticized Xue Zha Xiaoming: If you don't study hard now, the children will ask you, Dad, what should you do with this problem in the future? See how you answer!

Xiao Ming: Ask your mother!

The teacher looked livid and angrily scolded: get out!

Teacher: Good students, let's learn nouns and verbs next. The teacher asked a few questions first. Xiao Ming got up and answered.

Teacher: What are eyes?

Xiaoming: Noun

Teacher: Nose?

Xiaoming: It's also a noun. Teacher: Yes, which one?

Xiaoming: Verb! This is a verb.

Teacher: Get out!

3. Teacher: "Today, we learned the word' bait hides the hook'. Do you understand, Xiao Ming? "

Xiao Ming: "I understand, teacher."

Teacher: "Well, you can explain it to everyone."

Xiao Ming: "Hehehe, hehehe."

Teacher: ...

Xiao Ming: Report to the teacher. I want to hand in my paper.

Teacher: What's the hurry? Check it again carefully.

Xiao Ming: Teacher, I checked it several times and found that I still couldn't answer a question.

Teacher: roll, roll, roll!

In class, the teacher writes questions on the blackboard with his back to the students. It's particularly messy down there. The teacher didn't look back to see who was talking. As soon as he came up, he said, "Xiao Ming, get out! The whole class won't stop!"

At this time, I pushed open the door and went in: "Teacher, I am outside!" " "

Laughing at campus humor 2 (bursting)

A chemistry teacher and provost in a high school made a deliberate mistake when doing the problem, and then asked a classmate to find out the mistake.

After the students' difficult answers, the teacher said approvingly and seriously: Very well, you saw the teacher's failure.

Everyone was stunned. After class, the teacher just went out and the whole class burst into laughter.

Is it bold or brainless?

Students are bored in class, and the teacher is encouraging everyone to ask questions and speak actively. A female classmate raised her hand and said, "Teacher, can I say something?" The teacher is very happy: "You say." The female classmate stood up, looked around and said, "Who has this book for my boys and girls?"

The head teacher was speechless with tears.

I have to study at night in the third grade, and my mother will advise me not to go if the weather is bad or I cook at home.

After several times in a row, the class teacher called me to the office.

A gesture of inviting parents: "Why did you play truant?" I replied naturally, "My mother told me not to come."

The head teacher was speechless with tears.

Evil in the dark

A young couple were sitting on a rumbling train together. When the train entered a long tunnel, it suddenly became dark in the carriage. The girl thought, at this time, if she ... thought of this, she blushed. As expected, the young man's lips turned up, and with a long kiss, the girl fell into the ocean of happiness.

The sun shone in again, and the girl still blushed and whispered to her boyfriend, "hate, so cruel." Boyfriend paused, "what's the matter? What have I done? " The girl exclaimed, "Didn't you just kiss me?"

Laugh heartily.

When the school reporter group interviewed the long-distance running champion in the department,

Reporter: What were you thinking when you ran to 5000 meters?

Teacher champion: I want to know which lap this is.

Reporter: You still have leisure to think about this.

Popular products of the times

At a class meeting, the teacher is instructing junior high school students how to correctly understand "fashion". In order to understand the students' mastery, the teacher asked a question: "Students, what do you think is the most popular in society now?"

Students are talking noisily: some say KFC and McDonald's; Some say online games; There is also a wonderful work, saying that he is in love on the grounds of "adults and children talk".

Finally, Xiao Ming spoke: "I think the most popular thing should be a cold!" " Chickens, pigs and people are welcome! "

3 1, a new teacher came to the class, dragging and hanging: "Be honest in the future!" If you fight with me, you will only sit on the stone-hit the stone with eggs. "

2. Xiaoming: Teacher, I want to change my seat. Xiaomei's melon seeds affect my study.

Teacher: Who do you want to sit with?

Xiaoming: I want to sit with Xiaohong.

Teacher: Did you go there to study? Anyway, you sleep in class.

Xiaoming: Then I want to sleep with someone else ~

The teacher is angry: you are in charge of the school. You think you are the principal and you can sleep with whoever you want! ! !

Passing President Liu knocked on the classroom door: Miss Wang, come out for a moment ~ ~ ~

3. Once in physical education class, we secretly played basketball with several classmates and didn't get together. After being discovered by the PE teacher, the teacher called us over and said, each of you should find a twig.

After each of us picked one up and came back, the teacher said, go, each of us catches an ant.

After the results came out, I said, go and drive me around the playground!

4 1. A younger brother graduated from the history department. After graduation, he went to a high school as a class teacher.

He renamed all the class cadres as: the ministers of the official department, the ministers of the household department, and the ministers of the Ministry of War ... A class of 60 people implemented the system of three provinces and six departments.

In Chinese class, the teacher asked, "Xiao Ming, what do you mean by' come prepared'?"

Xiao Ming thought for a moment and said, "That is to say, a person's family is very poor, with only one quilt and no clothes to change."

teacher ......

At school, the whole class likes to spin pens. One day, a new male teacher, who was quite old, came to class and suddenly stopped. He pointed to a classmate who was spinning a pen and said, "Go, you turn the mop stick in the back ..." Since then, his class has often seen students playing acrobatics at the back of the classroom-spinning the mop. ...

The results of college entrance examination finally came out. When I reported my grades to the teacher, the teacher encouraged me to say, "Don't lose heart. Learning is a process of accumulation. Judging from your present grades, you need three such scores to get into Tsinghua Peking University. Come on! "

5 1, senior three transferred to another school. I transferred to another school in the morning. When I got to the classroom in the afternoon, I found that my deskmate at the original school had also transferred, and I was still sitting at the same table.

2. I met a 30-year-old classmate. Compared with 20 years old, he is still 40 years old.

The physics teacher said that we seemed to be in love in her class.

Everyone is happy and asks why.

The teacher sneered: "Because people in love have zero IQ!"

Experience tells me that it is useless to wake up roommates and lift the quilt. Throw the quilt into the pool and soak it, then cover it!

At that time, we really loved football and played football for 20 minutes after class in winter afternoon. When the bell rang, we hurried back to the classroom, wiped our sweat and pretended to be reading. ......

But I was still named and stood in the corridor. I really couldn't figure it out at the time. I believe in myself. What did the class teacher say? ......

Later, the teacher who held a parent-teacher meeting told my mother: A class saw twenty people lying there smoking and pretending to read, and they were so angry that they didn't fight. ......

7 1, well-intentioned people donated some clothes to the school, the quantity is limited, and each child can only choose one. The little girl looks at colorful skirts and likes everything. She doesn't know which one to choose. She asked timidly, "teacher, really, can't you choose two?" ""no! " "Well, I decided to choose this one." "This is a boy's clothes, you can't wear it!" "It's for my brother. He doesn't have beautiful clothes! "

When I was in junior high school, I helped my classmates deliver letters to the girls in the next class. After receiving the letter, the girls threw it into the trash can without reading it. I quickly explained that I didn't write it, so the girl took it out of the trash can. ......

I remember it was one morning, and we were having a Chinese class. The window is on the left side of the classroom, and the sun shines in. The weather is hot and dazzling. I watched her try her best to use her notebook in front of the sun and stood up. The teacher asked me what was wrong. I said I was a little sleepy. It is better to stand and listen to the class. Now is the second class in the morning. How can I be sleepy? I just want to use my body to block the sun and make her comfortable in my shadow.

4. The teacher asked, "Are there any four-character phrases with tones of 1234 in Chinese?"

The deskmate stood up and answered, "scrambled eggs with tomatoes, dry fried potatoes, cumin barbecue, salt and pepper barbecue, and fried meat with water bamboo."

Teacher: "I didn't expect you to eat. Not only do you love to eat, but you are also very careful."

8 1, a boy's dormitory will last until three o'clock in the morning, and suddenly I want to discuss a question, "What should I say first when I meet a beautiful girl?" A gentleman woke up from a dream and said, "Stop talking and let's go to bed!" " "

On the first day as a teacher, the old teacher in the office told me that the first class must be serious and give the students a scare, so that the students will be afraid of you.

After I entered the classroom, I found a boy playing music with headphones on. I was furious and shouted at him, "Students with headphones, stand up for me."

The boy stood up and said, "teacher, I didn't listen to the song!" " "

I walked over and took off his headphones angrily and fell to the ground, shouting, "What are you doing with headphones and not listening to music?"

I'm a little proud that boys don't talk. I press hard: "There's nothing to say now?"

At this time, the deskmate raised his hand and said, "Teacher, he is wearing a hearing aid!" " "

Me: "..."

The teenager waited behind a tree full of roses and remembered what his roommate said last night.

"Brother, I have been chasing girls recently. Do me a favor tomorrow. I'll give you a hint, and I'll come out with roses and hand them to me! "

When he came back, he looked at the situation of the two people in front, huh? Why is it so noisy?

Roommate suddenly hinted!

He hurried out and handed the rose, but his roommate grabbed him, chewed it, and then looked at the girl viciously.

"Look! He likes me, so give him up! "

4. University is the place where fantasy and horror ghost stories happen the most. I have personally experienced n times:

The first time: in the study room, I heard a sister paper pointing to an empty seat and saying, "There is someone here!" " "

The second time: the teacher called the roll in class, and the voice was heard, but no one was seen!

The third time: I witnessed a sister paper enter the hotel with my own eyes. As soon as she left the aunt's sight, the sister immediately became a man!

……

In short, it is strongly recommended that the great director make a film with a university as the background! I thought of this name for you! It's called college neuropathy!

5. In math class, the teacher marks the papers. There is a very simple question, but there are still many children's shoes that are answered wrong. So the teacher was angry: "such a simple question is for you, you don't want it."

A female classmate replied firmly: "My mother said that I can't have things that don't belong to me."

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