I'm afraid of getting married. How should I solve it?

People who are afraid of marriage will have fear of marriage. Usually, their symptoms are irritability, impatience and irritability. Some people will be silent and unwilling to talk more, which will affect their work and life.

So, what are you afraid of getting married? One is worried that "marriage is the grave of love". Reason for fear: Everyone says that "marriage is the grave of love". Even if love is beautiful, there will be no passion and sweetness when entering marriage, only endless trivialities and troubles. If you don't get married, you won't have so many troubles. You can enjoy life and love.

Solution: If you want to get rid of pre-marital phobia, you must first get rid of unrealistic fantasies about married life, don't have too high expectations and extravagant hopes, and don't think that your lover is all right and perfect, and honeymoon is really sweeter than honey. You should clearly realize that the birth of a new family also means an increase in the burden, which means that both of you should do your best for the family and do your duty as husband or wife.

It should be noted that the sweetness of honeymoon is the result of one's willingness to work hard for one's lover, and it is a mutual contribution and common creation. Before marriage, lovers should have the determination to endure hardships for their lover and their small family in the future, and be tolerant and understanding of their lover's shortcomings.

The second is the fear of not being free after marriage. Reason: I am used to freedom. I really want to get married and have children. I really can't stand being a housewife. When you are unmarried, you can go to bars, smoke, sleep as late as you want, have an affair with friends of the opposite sex, and call a group of girlfriends to get together at home. After I got married, I was not so free. I want to take care of my husband's emotions and my mother-in-law's face.

Solution: Try to bear it. In the early days of love life, people who are used to being single may have many unaccustomed feelings, such as hating the daily relationship between two people, hating the trivial things of life and so on. But anyway, don't give up easily. You might as well set yourself a period of three months, during which you will try your best to shoulder your share of responsibility. After the psychological adaptation period, your confidence in love and family will surely grow rapidly.

Third, the fear of losing charm after marriage and no one pursuing it. Reason: I really enjoy being chased now. If I don't get married, there will be men following me. Women's unmarried is the biggest capital, so they can enjoy men's love to the fullest, and they don't have to be a yellow-faced woman like housewives.

I can't imagine, if one day I get married and no one is chasing me, who will I show my charm to? Solution: Getting married doesn't mean going to the grave. Married women can also have their own charm and circle of friends. Of course, this circle of friends is not for keeping ambiguous with men and showing love to others. It means that you can keep a pure friendship with men, which is the so-called "blue confidante" that is popular now.

Every woman probably always has this kind of complex in her bones and wants to have a blue face confidant. This Lan Yan is not a husband or a lover, but the person who lives in her spiritual field. He may not be handsome, but he is mature, reliable and considerate. In a woman's dream, I always expect to meet such a man. Once they meet, their loneliness and weakness have a place to live.

Fourth, I am worried that I don't know enough about my future husband. Reason for fear: He and I were introduced by relatives. Because we work in two cities, we only met three times in half a year. My family says we are not young, urging us to get married this Friday. But I still don't know him, his living habits, his circle of friends, or even whether he is a professional. I don't know if I have talked about my girlfriend. Really helpless. Every time I think about it, it gets bigger. I really don't want to get married. Solution: Both men and women need to constantly strengthen mutual understanding and deepen their feelings, which is the most important psychological preparation before marriage. If this preparation is not sufficient and other preparations are complete, there is no guarantee of a happy married life. Even if there are all kinds of material preparations before marriage, it is difficult to make up for the psychological damage and maintain the sincere love between husband and wife.

It is suggested to know more before marriage, or to have a long talk before marriage and get to know each other as much as possible, which may eliminate the fear of future marriage. I am afraid that he is not my favorite person. Reason for fear: He and I are college classmates. We were in love for eight years in a marathon. Now my family is urging us to get married. Although it looks natural, I am not happy in my heart. Because of long-term contacts, we have no feeling of heartbeat, only a tacit understanding like relatives and a life like warm water. The closer I get to getting married, the more scared I am. I am worried that he is not my favorite, and that he is just a good marriage partner and will not bring me passion. Solution: Although he may not be your favorite person, he will be your closest person now and in the future.

Some love is always beautiful from a distance, some are sweet or treasured, and the person you love most is not necessarily suitable for being your husband. Cherish the present and you will be the happiest bride.

Sixth, I am worried that getting married will affect my job and future. Reason for fear: Who doesn't want someone to love someone and end their single life early, but marriage is not necessarily a good thing for women. Nowadays, the employment competition is so fierce that many female undergraduates who just graduated can't find jobs, let alone married women.

I have been afraid to get married because I am afraid that my competitiveness will be reduced after marriage. I haven't seen many companies directly ask you "Are you married" when recruiting? In order to find a satisfactory job, many women have to hide their married status and become new urban hermits. Solution: Getting married and having children is a necessary stage for a woman. If a 22-year-old woman wins her favor because she is young and smart,

A 28-year-old woman should be steady and capable. A while ago, there was a case in which a 30-year-old unmarried woman applied for a job in a company, and her ability and experience were recognized by the company. However, the company only expressed suspicion that she was not married at the age of 30, worried that her personality was flawed, and finally rejected her. Therefore, it is completely unnecessary for older women not to get married for work. Normal marriage and childbearing should be considered by both companies and individuals.

7. I am worried about the endless housework. I am the only child in my family. My parents have regarded me as the apple of their eye since I was a child. I never do housework, but at most I tidy up my cabin. But after marriage, it's different. You must learn to cook and wash clothes, mop the floor and clean the room. These alone can take up more than half of your rest time ... I really want to live in the shadow of my parents all my life, so there will be no headaches and housework. Solution: Every woman will be a housewife.

Unfortunately, "housewife" is not a word to be proud of in China at present, because the housework related to it has been ignored or even despised by the society and men. We can't let men and jokes personally experience the tedious and hard work of housework, but the value of housework is related to the dignity and value of a housewife, and we must never treat it lightly. Respect for housework is not only a breakthrough achievement of the new version of the Law on the Protection of Women's Rights and Interests, but also one of the fundamental prerequisites for equality between men and women.

Eight, worried that I can't get along with my mother-in-law. Reason for fear: I will live under the same roof with my parents-in-law. Everyone's living habits are exposed, and mutual friction is inevitable. Can they tolerate me? Can I have a good time in this house? Solution: Be mentally prepared to adapt to the new life. Before you get married, you should think that all aspects of married life will change significantly, not only with your lover, but also with your parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends, and learn to live in harmony with them.

Before marriage or even during marriage, we should create conditions to know and be familiar with those who should know, so as not to feel nervous or make mistakes after marriage because many strangers intrude into our lives and hurt the feelings of husband and wife.

Nine, worried about extramarital affairs, afraid of divorce. Reason: Now open newspapers and the Internet, which are all kinds of infidelity and extramarital affairs. Even lovers who have been in love for many years will have seven-year itch and ten-year itch after marriage, which makes people feel flustered.

In particular, many people who grew up in single-parent families are particularly afraid of divorce after marriage, so they simply don't get married, fearing that marriage will bring harm to themselves again. Solution: This fear comes from the negative "propaganda" of public opinion on marriage life. The analysis of various marriage problems by some media exposes the dark side of marriage too much, which makes people with "intention to get married" feel invisible pressure, resulting in excessive anxiety about the "direction" of marriage life and fear of marriage failure;

Another reason is that Fang is not very satisfied with some aspects of the other party, or doubts whether some shortcomings of the other party can be changed after they get married and whether they can adapt themselves. It is suggested to read more reports about happy marriage and understand that affair and infidelity are only a few cases in marriage. Believe in love, believe in marriage,

At the same time, we should also learn some tips that can make love warm up. As long as we manage with our heart, marriage will be really beautiful.

Cherishing each other's meeting is the best reward for meeting. WeChat official account: "Let the past drift with the wind".