Who has the original text of Mr. Know-it-all?

Maugham

Before I knew who Max Kelada was, I almost hated him. At that time, just after the war, the passengers on the ocean liner were very crowded. It is difficult to find a shipping space. No matter where the ship's staff find you, you have to make do. You can't find a single cabin. I am lucky to live in a small room with only two beds. But as soon as I heard the name of my companion, I immediately felt a chill in my heart. This immediately reminded me of the closed window and the small room that was strictly closed all night. I went to Yokohama from San Francisco, and it was enough to stay in a cabin with anyone for fourteen days and fourteen nights, but if my fellow traveler's name was Smith or Brown or something, my mood would not be so heavy. As soon as I got on the boat, I saw Mr. Klada's luggage stand in the lower berth. I hate it at first sight: several handbags are covered with various small brands, and the suitcase for clothes is too big. He has opened the toilet, and I can see that he is obviously an old customer of first-class "Mr. Huang Fengying Cosmetics", because I saw his perfume, shampoo and hair oil beside the washbasin. Mr. Kelada's ebony brush with his name engraved with a gold pattern really needs scrubbing. I really don't like this Mr. Kelada at all. So I ran to the smoking room. I went to the counter and asked for a deck of cards to play by myself. Almost as soon as I picked up the card, suddenly someone came up to me and said, he thinks my name must be something, and I don't know if it's right. "I'm Mr. Kelada," he added with a smile, showing a row of shiny teeth, and then he sat down. "Oh, yes, I think we can share a cabin." "I regard this as a very lucky thing. You never know who you will live with. I was very happy when I heard that you were English. I agree that when we English people are abroad, we always crowd together. Of course you know what I mean. " I blinked. "Are you English?" I may have asked a little inappropriate. "That's right. Do you think I look American? I am an Englishman to the core. " To prove this point, Mr. Kelada took out a passport from his pocket and waved it under my nose. What strange subjects really existed under King George? Mr. Kelada is short, but strong, with a clean black face, a big aquiline nose and big watery eyes. His long black hair is bright and curly. He speaks fluently, but he has no English accent at all, and he keeps gesturing. I am almost sure that if I look at his British passport carefully, I will find that Mr. Kelada was actually born in a bluer sky that Britain can't see. "What do you want?" He asked me. I looked at him suspiciously. At that time, the prohibition had not been lifted, and it was obvious that there would not be a drop of wine on this ship. When I am not thirsty, I can't tell what I hate most, whether it is ginger ale or lemonade. However, Mr. Kelada gave me an oriental smile. "Whiskey soda, or a martini without anything, all you have to do is say." Then he took a bottle of wine from two pockets behind him and put it on the table in front of me. I like to drink martinis, so he asked the waiter for a plate of ice and two glass cups. "This is a good cocktail." I said. "You see, I have plenty of this stuff. If you want to have any friends on the boat, you can tell them that you met a buddy who has all the wine in the world. " Mr. Kelada likes chatting very much. He talked about new york and San Francisco. He likes to discuss drama, painting and politics. He is very patriotic. The British flag is an awe-inspiring piece of cloth, but if I let a gentleman from Alexandria or Beirut wave it, I can't help but feel that it has lost its original majesty. Mr. Kelada is very easygoing. I don't like pretending, but I still think it is necessary for a complete stranger to add a name like Mr before my name when talking to him. Mr. Kelada is undoubtedly trying to make me feel strange. He didn't give me this gift. I really don't like Mr. Kelada. When he sat down, I had put my card aside, but now, I think this is only the first time we met. This conversation should be long enough, so I started playing my cards again. "Three should be put on four," Mr. Kelada said. When you play cards alone, you don't know what you think when you turn over a card, but someone next to you tells you where to put the card. Nothing is more boring than this. "Soon, soon," he shouted. "This 10 should be put on J." I finished the card in anger and disgust. He grabbed the card at once. "Do you like to do tricks with cards?" "No, I hate playing cards." I replied. "Come on, I'll show you this skill." He gave me three moves in a row. I told him that I would sit in the restaurant for a while. "Oh, don't worry," he said. "I left a seat for you. I think since we live in the same cabin, we can have dinner together. " I really don't like Mr. Kelada. I not only share a room with him, but also eat at the same table three times a day. I can't get rid of him if I want to walk on the deck. Nothing you can do can make him feel better. It never occurred to him that others would not want to be with him. He always thinks that you must like him as much as he likes you. If you want to be in your own home, you can kick him downstairs and slam the door in front of him, but he has no idea that he is an unwelcome guest. He hit it off with everyone, and within three days, he knew everyone on board. He is in charge of everything. He helps clean boats, he handles auctions, he collects money for competitions as bonuses, he organizes throwing rings and golf competitions, organizes concerts and arranges masquerade parties. You can see him anytime, anywhere. He must be hated on the boat. We all call him Mr. Know-it-all, even in front of him. He thought it was a compliment. And the most unbearable thing for him is when he is eating. For almost a whole hour, he always made us listen to him. He is enthusiastic, likes joking and is really eloquent. No matter what the problem is, he knows better than anyone, and anyone who disagrees with him will dampen his arrogant vanity. No matter what you talk about, even if it is extremely unimportant, he won't give up until he completely convinces you of his statement. It never occurred to him that he would make mistakes. He seems to know everything. We sat at the same table with a doctor. Of course, Mr. Klada can arrange everything according to his own wishes, because the doctor is lazy and I don't care about anything, but only one person named Nancy is sitting at that table, which is more troublesome. He is as arbitrary as Mr. Kelada, and he hates that self-righteous attitude. The intermittent argument between the two of them became very fierce. Nancy works in the American Embassy in Kobe. He is a big boy born in the midwest of the United States. The extra fat makes his skin tight, and because he is wearing ready-made clothes, he is obviously bulging everywhere. He went back to the embassy, because his wife went home for a year, and he flew back to new york not long ago to meet her. Mrs. Nancy is a short woman with a kind attitude and a humorous speech. The salary of the embassy is not much, and her clothes are always simple; But she knows how to dress herself. She always makes you look at it and feel an unusual taste. If it weren't for her temperament, I might not have noticed her at all. Perhaps most women have this temperament, but it is not common in their words and deeds now. Whenever you look at her, you can't help but be deeply moved by her modesty. That look is like a flower embroidered on her coat. One night, I accidentally talked about pearls at the dinner table. At that time, the newspaper talked about the clever Japanese cultivating pearls artificially. The doctor said that this will inevitably reduce the price of natural pearls. Artificial pearls look good now, and it won't be long before they are completely confused. Mr. Kelada, like any other problem, immediately talked about this new problem. He told us all about pearls. I'm sure Nancy knows nothing about that, but she couldn't help stabbing him as soon as she seized the opportunity. In this way, in less than five minutes, a heated debate began among us. In the past, I have seen Mr. Kelada express his views with intense emotions, but I have never seen him so intense. Finally, Nancy said something that angered him. He patted the table and shouted:

"Listen, what I said is well-founded. Now I'm going to Japan to study the reasons for Japanese pearl culture. I'm in this business. If you ask any insider, he will tell you that what I said is not true. I know all the best pearls in the world. Regarding pearls, if there are problems I don't know, those problems must be trivial. " This is news to us, because although Mr. Kelada is very talkative, he has never told anyone what he does. We only vaguely know that he is going to Japan for some kind of business activities. He looked at all the people on the table with great pride. "No matter how they are cultivated, experts like me can always see at a glance that they are artificially cultivated." He held the necklace worn by Mrs. Sese with his hand. "Listen to me, you can rest assured, Mrs. Nancy, that necklace you are wearing will never lose a penny." Mrs Nancy, who was modest by nature, blushed and stuffed the necklace into her clothes. Nancy leaned forward. He gave us all a smiling look. "Mrs. Nancy's necklace is really beautiful, isn't it?" "I noticed it as soon as I saw it," Mr. Kelada replied. "Hey, I thought, these pearls are really good." "Of course, I didn't buy this necklace. But I want to know how much you think this necklace is worth. " "Oh, according to the official price is about fifteen thousand dollars. But if you bought it on Wuma Road, I wouldn't be surprised if you said you wanted 30 thousand yuan. " Nancy smiled with a frown. "I want to say, you may feel strange. Mrs Nancy bought this necklace in a department store the day before we left new york, and it only cost 18 dollars. " Mr. Kelada couldn't help blushing. "Nonsense. This is not only true, but also among pearls of this size, this string of pearls is the best I have ever seen. " "Would you like to bet? I bet you a hundred dollars that it's fake. " "It's a deal." "Oh, Aylmer, you can't bet a gun," said Mrs. Nancy. There was a faint smile on her face, and although her voice was gentle, she obviously didn't want him to do that. "Why not? Since I have a chance to pick up a sum of money for nothing, if I don't, I will be the biggest fool in the world. " "But how can this be proved?" She continued. "You can't just listen to me, or just listen to Mr. Rada." "Let me take a closer look at this necklace. If it's false, I'll tell you right away. I don't care about losing a hundred dollars, "Mr. Kelada said. "Take it off, dear. Let this gentleman have a good look. " Mrs Nancy hesitated for a moment. She put her hand on the clasp of the necklace. "I can't open this clip," she said. "Mr. Kelada should believe everything I say." I suddenly feel afraid that something very unfortunate will happen soon, but I can't think of anything to say at the moment. Nancy jumped up and stood up. "I'll open it for you." He gave the chain to Mr. Kelada. The self-righteous gentleman took out a magnifying glass from his pocket and looked at it carefully for a while. A triumphant smile slowly appeared on his smooth and dark face. He handed over the necklace. He was about to speak. Suddenly, he saw Mrs Nancy's face. His face was livid and he seemed to faint soon. She looked at him with a pair of big eyes of fear, completely pleading; That look is so obvious that I can only wonder why her husband didn't notice it. Mr. Kelada froze with his mouth open. He blushed. You can almost see the fierce struggle inside him. "I made a mistake," he said. "This is a very delicate imitation, but of course, I immediately knew it was not true with a magnifying glass. I think this stupid thing is worth about eighteen dollars at most. " He took out his wallet and took out a hundred-dollar bill from it. He gave the money to Nancy without saying a word. "This may teach you a lesson to stop being so self-righteous in the future, my young friend." Nancy said that when she took the money. I noticed that Mr. Kelada's hand was shaking. It is conceivable that this incident spread all over the ship at once, and he had to endure the cynicism of many people that night. Mr. Know-it-all finally appeared, which was a big joke. But Mrs Nancy returned to the hut with a headache. The next morning, I got up and began to shave. Mr. Kelada was lying in bed, smoking a cigarette. Suddenly, I heard a slight friction, and then I saw someone cramming a letter through the door that was stuck to the ground. I opened the door and went out to have a look. There is no one outside the door. I picked up the letter and saw that it said Mr. Kelada. The name is written in printed letters. I gave him the letter. "Who is it?" He opened the letter. "Oh!" What he took out of the envelope was not a letter, but a hundred-dollar bill. He looked at me and turned red again. He tore the envelope into pieces and gave it to me. "Would you please throw it out of the window?" I threw it away for him and looked at him with a smile. "Nobody wants people to look like complete fools." He said. "Are those pearls real?" I want to have a beautiful wife. I will never live in Kobe alone and let her stay in new york for a year. " He said. By this time, I don't like Mr. Kelada so much. He reached for his wallet and carefully put the hundred-dollar bill in.

Translated by Huang Yushi