Three elements of listening in communication

Today, I played werewolf killing with a group of netizens. This is a board game that I like very much. This puzzle game exercises logical expression and comprehensive thinking ability very much.

At the beginning of the game, 1 is a beautiful girl, and 6 is a handsome boy. Number three was killed on the first day. Without waiting for No.6 to speak, No.6 was in a hurry to express his position, and his logic was intermittent. Moreover, the beauty No.1, who likes performing, is a little stubborn and begins to spoil Barabara and No.6. The meaning is very simple: "No.3 is the first to kill, and No.6 infers that No.3 is a witch. How can a witch not save herself if she has an antidote? " However, the sixth person repeatedly explained and expressed his opinions, which led to the omission of a lot of effective information. The ninth true prophet killed the fourth werewolf, and the limited information was covered up. Another werewolf, No.8, leads to No.6, whose identity is in doubt, and can be started on the first day. On the 7th, I have been mediating with a logical uncle at 10, but time has run out and we can't continue. We entered the voting stage, and finally No.6 was wronged.

I thought it would be much quieter when I came out on the 6th, but No.1 spoke very strongly and would analyze her logic very strongly. I also followed up emotionally, "No.6 is out, and there is no evidence against him. The key moment is to find the remaining three wolves. Now that the 9 th has been killed, the clergy can lead the team. " 1 began to interrupt again. "Your logic is yours, and my logic is mine. You don't have to listen, but I have to say it." Then Barabara said.

In this way, many people on the field asked, "Where is your wolf pit?" I was surprised, 1 was forced to go out and died.

In the end, two wolves, five wolves and eight wolves won completely.

Through such a game, let me review the communication skills again, the core of which is listening. I remember a sharing meeting on "How to Improve Effective Communication" organized by Xiaoyou and me at 17.

Among them, Kelly shared that a real communicator is good at listening. The three elements of listening, the first is the tone of expression.

Take "We're Going Home" for example. Expressed in three tones. Let's experience it

The first kind of rising tone, I feel very excited, just like the kind of happiness that children finally stay at home after school and want to go home.

The second kind of falling tone, I feel that I am having a good time in a game, and my family is calling you home.

The third level is the feeling of nature, a normal time node has arrived, and it's time for us to go home.

Why give this example? Being too happy and angry in expression will affect the lack of effective information in communication, so the first element in communication is to listen to the speaker's tone and modality. If the other person is in an emotion, first of all, we should feel empathy, deal with the emotion first, and then deal with the problem.

The second is to understand the meaning expressed by the other party. This is actually a very embodiment of a person's logical expression ability. It also reflects the listener's listening ability. For example, everyone will understand.

I remember climbing a mountain when I was a child and making a joke. I rolled up my sleeves because I was very hot when I climbed halfway up the mountain. My brother said I can fold pants, too. Then I later told my mother, "My brother was so hot that he broke his feet when climbing the mountain." My mother asked, "How can I climb the mountain when my feet are broken?" I immediately realized that my expression mistake was corrected in time. But it also became a family joke.

It's not a joke. The key point is that when the subject is unclear or puns appear in many expressions, it is the most important way to listen carefully and understand each other's expressions.

The third and most difficult thing to practice is to listen to each other's implication. This is that listeners need some life experience and social experience.

I can't trust you with your attitude.

The implication is that you are so strong and unreasonable. How can I trust you?

Or you can change your attitude and listen to me carefully, and I may believe you.

Finally, to sum up, the key to communication is listening. There are three elements in listening: listening to the emotion expressed, understanding the meaning expressed and understanding the meaning behind it. When you learn to listen to the core of communication, you can basically be regarded as a communication expert.

Finally, I also made a summary of the expressions that communication experts should pay attention to. For your reference.

Urgent, speak slowly; Major events: think clearly; Small things, humor; Don't say what you can't do; Other people's business: caution; Do your own thing, frankly; What should be done, do well; The future, and then say; Happy things, depending on the occasion; Don't tell everyone about the sad things; Hate things, don't tell people things; Don't talk nonsense about things that don't exist; Hurt people, stop it.