Su Dongpo's Ten Humorous Stories

1, tit for tat Su Shi lived in Huangzhou for several years. One night, he and his good friend monk Fo Yin went boating on the Yangtze River. When Su Dongpo raised his glass, he suddenly pointed to the riverbank and smiled without a word. Fo Yin looked around and saw a yellow dog gnawing at a bone. He realized something and threw a fan engraved with Su Dongpo's poems into the water. The two men looked at each other and couldn't help laughing. It turns out that this is a dumb couplet. Su Dongpo's first couplet is: Dogs gnaw at the bones (monks) in the river. Fo Yin's bottom line is: Liu Shui Dongpo's body (Dongpo's poems). 2. One day at noon, Su Dongpo visited Fo Yin. Fo Yin is busy cooking. Just as he brought the cooked fish to the table, he heard the young monk report that Dongpo lay man was visiting. Fo Yin was afraid to reveal the secret of eating fish, so he was in a hurry. He put the fish in his mouth and hurried out to meet the guests. Both of them went to the meditation room for tea. When Su Dongpo was drinking tea, he smelled the smell of fish and saw the upside-down chin on the table. Because Qing is a percussion instrument used by monks to do Buddhism. Usually, the mouth is up, but today it is buckled backwards. There must be something wrong. Fo Yin said, "The layman is here today. What do you think? " Su Dongpo deliberately played a joke on the old monk, pretending to be serious, and said, "I have a problem today, so I'll ask my predecessors." Fo Yin quickly put his hands together and said, "Amitabha, how dare you?" Su Dongpo said with a smile: "Today, my friend wrote a couplet. The first couplet is: The first spring is always at Xiangyang Gate. If you can't get the next couplet, please advise. " Fo Yin didn't know what the plan was, and blurted out, "A very talented person, a layman, has learned a lot. Why are you so forgetful today? This is an old couplet, and the bottom line is: gather good people to celebrate the rest. " Su Dongpo couldn't help laughing: "Since the predecessors made it clear that there are fish in Qing (Qing), please let me feast my eyes!" It is said that Su Dongpo once walked with Wang Anshi, and occasionally saw a house with a moving wall and an east wall. Wang Anshi hit Dongpo's last sentence: "The Dongpo of this wall is inclined!" Su Dongpo looked up and laughed, that is, recited couplets and retorted Wang Anshi: "It's too much, taking stone as the key link!" Ingenious names are clever, and puns are especially wonderful. When Qin Shaoyou secretly helped the groom marry Su Xiaomei, he met with many difficulties. Arriving at the door of the new house, Su Xiaomei made another couplet: close the door to launch the window and the moon. Qin Guan thought for a long time, but he couldn't write couplets. Su Dongpo helped each other, picked up a stone in the distance and threw it into the lake. Qin Shaoyou was inspired and blurted out: Throw a stone to break the underwater sky. 5. There is no end to learning. When Su Shi was young, he was brilliant. He widely read poetry books, studied classics and history, and was good at writing, so he was appreciated by people and his self-esteem sprouted. One day, Su Shi wrote a couplet in front of the door: "Know all the words of the world; Read all the books on the earth. " Both "doing" and "times" are right, vividly drawing Su Shi's pride at that time. Unexpectedly, a few days later, an old man with a childish face made a special trip to Su Zhai to ask Su Shi for advice. He asked Su Shi to recognize the book he brought. Su Shi didn't care either. He took a look, and his heart suddenly froze. He didn't know any words in the book. Su Shi, who is so proud, can't help but feel ashamed. He has to say no to the old man again and again, and the old man laughs and floats away. Su Shi was ashamed and ran to the door and added two words to the couplet. The realm is new, and all the neighbors scratch their eyes: "I know the words of the world when I am angry; Determined to read all the books on earth. " 6. The temple is very cold. When Su Dongpo visited Mogan Mountain, he sat in a small temple. The host monk in the temple met a stranger and simply said, "Sit down." He shouted to the young monk, "tea." After the two sat down to talk, the host monk found the words blurted out by the other party, expecting this person to be extraordinary, so he invited the guests into the wing to talk. After entering the room, the host monk said politely; "Please sit down!" He also called the young monk, "Tea!" Upon further inquiry, it was found that this tourist was the famous Su Dongpo. The host monk bowed quickly, respectfully led him into the living room and repeatedly said, "Please sit down!" " And commanded the young monk: "To fragrant teas!" When Su Dongpo left, the host monk asked him to write a couplet. Su Dongpo had answers and smiled and waved. In an instant, he wrote: Please sit down, please sit down, please serve tea, offer tea, and offer fragrant tea. 7. A Bright Lamp One day, Su Dongpo and his brother-in-law went out of town to play in the suburbs and saw a "thunder bridge" made of three stones on the path. Su Dongpo kicked the stone bridge and sang a couplet at the same time: he kicked three stones of Leiqiao, looked back and asked him to make a couplet. Qin Shaoyou thought for a long time, but he didn't get the bottom line, so he went home glumly. Su Xiaomei looked at her husband's displeasure and only knew what had happened. I didn't know it was a couplet until I asked. Without saying anything, she wrote the word "Chu" on a piece of paper and cut it in half with scissors. Qin Shaoyou suddenly realized, and revealed the bottom line: Cut out the word Shuang Shan. Note: The title of the previous article was "Cold Temple", and he laughed and thought it was not bad. The title of this article, "A Bright Lamp", refers to something that Qin Shaoyou didn't know, but he still understood it after clicking it. Smile. 8, perfunctory giants It is said that in order to find Mr. Right, Su Xiaomei once used literary works to choose her husband. As soon as the news came out, there were countless suitors. One of them is a rich boy named Fang, who has admired his little sister for a long time. After hearing the news, he quickly made a choice. He presented many proud poems, but when my little sister saw them, they were as light as white water, so she picked up a pen and approved a pair of couplets on it: the pen is short of talent, but she has no idea. Su Dongpo was worried when he saw the couplets of Miss Sister. In order to avoid right and wrong, I quietly added a sentence to my sister's couplet and changed it to: a little talent at the bottom of the pen has infinite strategies in my heart. Fang was ecstatic after reading it. He is eager to meet Su Xiaomei to express his heart. Su Dongpo knew that his little sister didn't like him at all, and he was afraid that the joke would be bad. He quickly found an excuse to stop him and said, "My little sister is a little literary, but she is ugly, with a long face and a prominent forehead. If you don't believe me, you will know that a tear of acacia has not reached her cheek since last year. Before going out, I went to the picture gallery on my forehead. How did Fang know that Su Dongpo was lying to himself? He really thought Su Xiaomei was ugly, so he went away disgruntled. One day, Su Xun came to the back garden and saw the clear water flowing between the rocks, and the breeze brought flowers. As the sun sets, the trees are swaying and the crescent moon hangs for a long time. The old gentleman was very excited about poetry. He called Su Shi and his little sister. The three of them rubbed stones and sat down. Su Xun said, "Such a beautiful place doesn't need poetry. what do you think? My brothers and sisters said in unison, "Dad said it well." . "Su Xun is glad to see his children agree with him. First of all, he recited two poems: water cools and rocks flow, and wind comes from flowers. Su Shi has always been famous for his poems. After listening to his father's poem, he felt that it was too plain, but it was not good. Who knows, while he was meditating, the naughty little sister said, "My brother writes poems on weekdays and thinks so fast. I thought I laughed at my sister's high forehead. How did the poem "three or five steps before appearing in court, the forehead goes to the painting hall first" come from? Why is it blocked today? " Hearing this, Su Dongpo knew that his little sister was naughty again. He just smiled and recited two poems: painting stones and sitting in cold clothes, stepping on flowers and returning to horseshoes. Su Xiaomei's poems, songs, piano, chess and calligraphy are all exquisite. After listening to the poems of my father and brother, I feel that my brother is slightly better. I thought to myself, "Big Brother's poems are good, but they are unsightly." Little sister thought for a moment, just in the distance came the cuckoo's cry. When she heard the voice, she was filled with emotion, so she also said: Tell Du Fu to have a cold throat and stay in China and have a dream. My little sister's poem had just been sung, and my father and brother couldn't help praising it in unison. 10, Miao Hao scolded Su Dongpo for being demoted to Lingnan as an official. After a day's shopping, it was strange to see a young monk kneeling at the gate of the temple and crying. I asked the young monk why. The little monk cried because he accidentally knocked over and broke the lamp when he was lighting it. The old monk not only beat him, but also knelt at the gate of the temple for three days. Su Dongpo was very angry and went into the temple to see the abbot. The abbot of the temple was overjoyed when he heard that Su, a talented scholar in the Tang Dynasty, was visiting. As soon as Su Dongpo entered the temple gate, the old monk flattered and begged Su Dongpo to leave his handwriting. Su Dongpo hated the abbot's guts, but in order to make the young monk at the temple gate stop suffering, he agreed to the old monk's request, saying, "Writing is ok, but I must ask the young monk kneeling at the temple gate to come and polish and show me paper." Hearing this, the old monk smiled at once and repeatedly promised, "Amitabha, I'll do it. The young monk polished the ink and unfolded the paper. Su Dongpo wrote a pair of couplets with a wave of his hand and said, "The reincarnation went home overnight, and 8,000 ordinary people didn't leave at all. Soon, Fo Yin came to this mountain and smiled when he saw this couplet. He asked the old monk, "This couplet was originally a crossword puzzle, didn't you guess it correctly?" The old monk quickly asked what this meant. Fo Yin asked for a pen and paper, wrote two words at once, and then left me. . Got it. . Duojia Me. . Personal. . chat