Interesting story of the three kingdoms

Liu guanzhang The three men knelt down and shouted, "Today, three brothers swore allegiance to Jin Lan. Share the happiness of the future. Share joys and sorrows.

Each has his own ideas. ...

Liu: (I won't sell straw sandals in the future. Change the protection fee. Ha ha laugh ...)

Guan: (Shit, er ... drunk again. )-{can't blame blushing}

Zhang: (These hooligans, when will you pay me back? Shit. )

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Grass boat borrows arrows:

Zhou Yu said, "I wonder where Zhu borrowed the arrow."

"Sergeant. Go and see if the strategist has come back? "

a little while ...

Sergeant: "Report to the Governor. Zhuge Liang is recovering ... "

Zhou: "Where is the arrow? ……。"

Sergeant: "The division has 654.38 million arrows."

Zhou Xi said, "Sure enough, there are doorways. How did he do it? "

Sergeant: "Yes ... so ... so ... so ... so ..."

Zhou: "Oh! Where did the strategist get hurt? "

Sergeant: "Oh. That's all. Cao Jun launched a rocket. ……"

Zhou: "..."

Quench thirst by thinking of plum-masturbating with illusory hope

"Master. Sergeant door thirsty "

After thinking about Cao Cao.

"Brother door. The MM in Xiangyang City in front is very watery ... "

The saliva flows into a river. Historically speaking, I hope M can quench my thirst.

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Yang xiuzhi's death

Fuck, Xiaguan has been angry for too long.

Just then, the chef brought chicken soup. So I wrote a military order tonight. "Chicken ribs."

After Yang knew it, he immediately packed his bags. Xia Houdun asked him why.

Yang said, "Your master thinks chicken breast is not delicious. Not to the taste. After a long time, you will be homesick. Why didn't you pack your clothes earlier? Go home. "

Xiahou sighed. "I really understand Wang Wei's heart." So I packed my bags.

My brother Xia saw it. Ask why. "It was Yang Xiugan," Dunn said. It's not good to hate chickens. Why don't you look after your clothes? Go home. "Yuan feel right. I did it.

See Li Dian. Ask why. Yuan Dao said, "Your lordship doesn't think the chickens here are good. Why aren't you dressed? Go home. " Li has some doubts. So I packed my bags.

Be forbidden to watch. Ask why. Li Dao: "I heard that your master thinks prostitutes here are not good. Not as good as home. Why aren't you dressed? Go back. "

"Why do you want to go back?" I'm confused. I didn't ask any more questions. I also went to pack.

Zhang Liao saw it. Ask why. Yu Dao: "I don't know if I should say it. I heard that the host is not satisfied with the prostitutes here. Might as well go back to my hometown to play. I heard that the prostitute was kicked out by the master without even wearing clothes. " Zhang Liao was stunned. "Really."

"There is nothing wrong. So be prepared. " Zhang Sui office.

See Huang Xu. Ask why. Zhang Yue said, "The night before yesterday, your master called a prostitute. However, I don't know what happened. Adults seem very dissatisfied. Kicked the prostitute out. Not even wearing clothes. Just launched. What a tragedy! He also said it was not as good as his hometown. Let's go home now. "

Xu see, then go back to pack.

I was met by prosthodontic and asked why. Xu said: "A few days ago. My Lord found a prostitute. Adults seem to be out of their depth. I ran out when I felt sick. I heard I was kicked out by a prostitute. Not even wearing clothes. That's hilarious. The master also said. Not as good as the women at home. Want to go home. Really, it's hard for your master to fuck so much for us. Of course, the body will not get better ... "

Xu frightened. Master, take care. ...

Fuck it. Patrol the camp with an axe. See Xu packing. Ask why.

Xu Gaohu wept bitterly: "Master, we are sorry for you. You did it for us. Fuck broke his heart and thinned his mouth. The body plate is also used up. (wiping tears) It doesn't matter. My family has ancestral medicine.

—————— Emoko. Just eat Tiger Brother and want to be happy every night. It is an essential medicine for traveling to kill people. Try it. Be the groom every night. Just lick it. Race against the immortal. Master, take it. "

Cao Cao was angry: "Shit, you big watermelon. What do you think is wrong with me? Which bastard said that Laozi can't. "

Xu dui Xu Ask. Zhang Nai said. Ask. That is to say. Ask Yu. Nelly said. Ask Li. Naiyuan said. Ask. Knighton said. Ask. Naixiu said.

Cao Cao was furious and killed him. (unfair ...)

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Three old villas

1. "Son, is Mr. Zhuge there?" Liu Bei asked.

"The tutor went to see Feng Shui when he was buried."

"……。"

2. "Son, is Mr. Zhuge there?" Liu Bei asked.

"My tutor went to Lincun to collect bad debts."

"Hi, Zhuge is busy." Liu Bei sighed.

3. "This brother is Mr. Zhuge?"

"Bright bucai. This big-eared brother is Liu Huangshu? "

"It's the next one." Liu Bei clung to Zhuge Liang's hand and could not speak for a long time.

"Uncle Huang speaks slowly."

Liu Bei is hot and tired. Zhang looked back and said, "Brothers. We can finally get rid of the three missing people. "

"……"

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Zhuge liang scold array:

Cao and Shu confronted each other, and the two sides scolded each other before starting work. Cao Jun sent Jiang Gan forward, but before he could speak, Zhuge Liang asked him loudly, "Fuck! How is your mother? In addition to answering: "Good! The Shu army laughed and the Cao army was in chaos. Cao Cao was furious and hurried to get on the horse. Before he could speak, Zhuge Liang called out, "Fuck! How is your mother? " Cao Cao had no choice but to take the lead in retreating.

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Second, the inside story of history

Zhongjun's big client-

Zhuge Liang (puts on his glasses and opens his name book): "Zhang Yimou!"

Person: "..........."

Zhuge Liang (holding glasses and looking at the name book carefully): "Where is Zhang Yimou!"

Person: "..........."

Wei Yan: "Strategist ... Zhang Yide, right? Is Zhang Yide ... "

Zhuge Liang: "........"

-Zhuge Liang hated Wei Yan all his life and secretly told Ma Dai to assassinate him before he died.

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Changbanpo-

Cao Hong: "Look, Prime Minister! That enemy general is back! "

Xia Houdun: "Today is the seventh time. Isn't he tired?"

Cao Cao: "Shit ... I have to kill all my troops before I stop!" " ! ? "

Zhao Yun, who fought in the chaotic army, said, "Zhang Fei is XXXX! Let me not give me the map at the back of the house ~ ~ ~ Where is Changban Bridge?

Yes ~ ~ ~ "

-Zhao Yun, word dragon, number, one of the five generals of Shu.

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Zhou Yu: "Born in ~ ~ He Shengliang ~ ~ Born in ~ ~ He Shengliang ~ ~"

Reader: "Are you kidding? ~ ~ As the commander-in-chief of the Dongwu armed forces, how could he say such petty things on his deathbed? " ! "

Luo Guanzhong: "Small? ~ ~ ~"

-So, in some lost versions of the Three Kingdoms, Zhou Yu shouted before he died-

"Eighteen years later ~ ~ ~ Lao Tzu is still a hero ~ ~"

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Wuzhangyuan-

Jiang Wei: "Teacher, I'm back! Today, I bought three pence a cart of celery and four pence five barrels of rice. ...

Huh? Why are there seven lights on in the room? Lamp oil is very expensive now, and military grain and oil subsidies do not contain kerosene ~ ~ ... what! ? Three days and three nights! Still not going out? You can't live! ? Wow ~ Look at the big one in the middle ~ ~ Take it out quickly. Well, you see, a light is already on ~ ~:) Oh, by the way, what did you want to say to me just now, teacher? "

The superstar fell down. ...

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Cao Cao: "Chicken ribs! Chicken ribs! "

Yang Xiu: "Come ~ ~! Please enjoy your meal, Prime Minister. "

Cao Cao: "Push ... Push it out and kill it!" "

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Cao Pi: "Cao Zhi! I'll kill you if you can't write a poem in seven steps! Hey, did you hear that ~ ~ Stop ~ ~ Don't go ~ ~ I'm talking to you, come back ~ ~ "

-When I meet my brother who is spoiled by my father, my brother is usually embarrassed.

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The story of diusim: "............."

Dong Zhuo: "........."

Lu Bu: "I just want to hear your truth. Which one do you love more?" ! ? "

The story of diusim: "............."

Dong Zhuo: "........."

Lu Bu: "Answer me!"

Dong Zhuo: "It's really hard to decide ~ ~ I like both ~ ~".

Lu bu: "scum ~ ~ ~! ! "

-According to research, the first BL murder case in China history occurred in the late Eastern Han Dynasty. ...

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Silent historical articles

Zhang Fei: "Stop, old thief!"

Yan Yan: "Ring-eyed thief! Dismount and die! "

Police car: "Listen, two thieves ~ ~ ~ You are surrounded ~ ~ ~ Drop your weapons ..."

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Sanjiangkou

Sun Shangxiang: "It's Ding Feng and Xu Sheng's people. My brother must have sent them to kill us! What should I do, husband? "

Liu Bei: "Oh, when I left Jingzhou, the military adviser gave me three tricks, and I have already used two. Now it's time to use the third one, Zilong. Open the prompt! "

Zhao Yun: "Yes. (opens) Oh? There is a blue tights and a red cloak in it? ! "

Liu Bei: "Don't ..."

Zhao Yun: "There is also a note ... If you become Superman, you can repel enemy soldiers ..."

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Too loud:

Zhuge Liang is a master of eight stunts, one of which is ventriloquism. It is said that Zhuge Liang discussed with Liu Bei in his account this day. Zhuge Liang suddenly wanted to fart, but he was afraid of being heard by Liu Bei. I'm really sorry. He had a brainwave and said, "Master, how about I call you a woodpecker to adjust the atmosphere?" Liu Bei nodded. Zhuge Liang barked twice in imitation of a woodpecker and took the opportunity to fart. Then he asked, "What's the matter, master? Is that how I learned it?

"Liu Bei said," learn it again. You farted too loudly just now. I didn't hear that.

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Tryst:

One day, Wang Yun invited Dong Zhuo to drink at home. During the dinner, The Story Of Diu Sim, Yun3' s daughter, was in charge of pouring wine. Dong zhuohe

The two men flirt with each other, but they both have desires for each other. When he left, The Story Of Diu Sim knocked on Dong Zhuo's head three times, and then left behind his back.

It's gone. In the middle of the night, Dong Zhuo entered from the back door of Wang Yungu's house and came to The Story Of Diu Sim's door. The door opened automatically and Dong Zhuo went in and left.

After a while, I saw two doors. It says "married" on one side and "unmarried" on the other. Dong Zhuo walked into the door of "unmarried".

Go inside. After a short walk, there are two more doors at the end of the corridor, which say "experienced" and "inexperienced" Dong zhuocong

The door of "inexperience" continued to walk and walked until it came to the end of the corridor, where there were also two doors. It says ".

Over10cm and less than10cm, Dong Zhuo opened the door of "less than10cm" and went out on the road.

Last/better/previous/last name ...

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Sinus:

After Mrs. Mi gave birth to Dou, she was troubled by Dou's stool problem all day. I'll ask Hua Tuo. Mrs. rice asked, "Dr. Hua, my peas have to shit n times a day." Is there a better way than using diapers? " Hua Tuo thought for a moment and replied, "Yes! You can raise a few dung beetles. "

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Pectoral muscles:

One day, Liu Bei visited the military camp. Liu Bei said, "Hello, soldiers!" The soldiers said, "Good Chief!"

Liu Bei patted the chest of a soldier beside him and praised: "Look at this chest muscle, how well it is trained!" The soldier replied: "report to the chief, I am a female soldier!" " "

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Comparison:

A brave general said that Cao Cao and other governors fought against Dong Zhuo. Let's eat together During the dinner, Kong Rong, the magistrate of Beihai, took out a box of pears and distributed them to everyone. The remaining pears were thrown out of the window. Seeing this, Liu Bei asked, "What a pity?" Kong Rong said, "Never mind, we have many pears there!" After a while, Yuan Shao took out a box of gold and gave it to everyone. The rest were thrown out of the window. Seeing this, Liu Bei asked, "What a pity?" Yuan Shao said, "Never mind, we have a lot of gold there!" Liu Bei bowed his head, thought for a moment, stood up and threw Zhang Fei around him out of the window without saying anything.

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Ma Chao VS Cao Cao

It's your turn to say that Ma Chao revenged his father and attacked Cao Cao. Cao Cao was defeated by Ma Chao in the battle of Tongguan and fled hastily. Ma Chao chased after him. Chasing Cao Cao took off his robe and cut a long beard. Two people, one running in front and the other chasing after. Finally, Cao Cao was overtaken by Ma Chao. Cao Cao got off the horse in despair, knelt on the ground feebly and waited for Ma Chao. After hearing Ma Chao laugh a few times, he said, "Ha ha ha ha! I finally caught you! Okay, now it's your turn to arrest me. Don't peek. "