Who will tell a joke?

1. A mother took a taxi to pick up her daughter from junior high school. When the mother and daughter passed a certain section, they saw a group of coquettish girls standing on the side of the road "doing business". The adolescent daughter asked curiously, mom, what are those women doing standing by the road? In order not to affect her daughter's innocent mind, the mother replied, those women are waiting for their husbands. The talkative taxi driver replied: It's so funny. Everyone knows that those women are prostitutes. Mother was angry and took a look at the driver. The daughter then asked: mom, will that J girl have a baby? Mom said coldly, of course, otherwise who will drive a taxi! 2. One day, a lady went to buy meatballs. Miss: Boss, I want two small ones to go! Because business was good, after a while, the boss was afraid of making mistakes in his busy schedule and asked, miss? Are those two small? The young lady blushed and replied bitterly, Boss, your two pills are small! There is a young lady with a long face. I'm sorry ... even if she's ugly, it's even more rude ... once ... she was arranged to go on a blind date ... but the hero didn't show up ... This woman didn't wait patiently ... and began to swear ... Wow, Lill ... how dare you keep your mother waiting for so long ..&; % $ & amp^$%#@! $! % ... At this time, the hero appeared ... It was a fat man ... This woman was even more angry after seeing it ... So she scolded a bunch of ... pointing at the hero and cursing ... The fat man ...% $ @ #&... The hero finally went crazy ... Strike the table ... and said loudly ... Even called me fat ... At least I lost weight ... It happened that three children passed by. President Li said to them: If you help me stand up, I will give each of you a wish. The first child said that he wanted a bike. The second child said that he wanted a baseball glove. The third child thought for a long time and said that he wanted a wheelchair. President Li felt very strange in his heart. Why do you need a wheelchair when your hands and feet are ready? He asked the third child, "Why do you want a wheelchair? The third child said, "My father will break my leg if he knows that I saved you. "5. Three people went to the breakfast shop to buy breakfast. The first man said to the boss, "Boss, I want an fried egg, but no yolk." "The boss fried an egg. The second man also said to the boss, "Boss, I want an fried egg, but no egg whites." The boss is the same, just a little impatient. When it was the third person's turn, the boss asked him rudely, "What about you? What don't you want for your eggs? The third person said timidly, "I ... I don't want eggshells ..." 6. Buying underwear One day, a gentleman went to buy underwear for his wife, because he never bought underwear for his wife, so he didn't know which size to buy! After chatting with the clerk for a long time, the clerk had to describe the fruit! Shop assistant: papaya? ! Sir: No! Don't! Shop assistant: apples? ! Sir: no, no,no. Shop assistant: Lotus mist? ! Sir: smaller! Shop assistant: eggs? ! Mr. Wang said happily: Yes! Yes! Yes! When the clerk understood and turned to get the underwear, the man suddenly shouted, Miss, wait a minute! It's bombing 7. What is the quarrel between Komori and Xiaohao ... Komori disdainfully said, "Hum! Your mother should have strangled you when she gave birth to you! " Xiao Hao said with an extremely contemptuous look, "Really? I think your dad should just shoot at the wall! "komori:"? . ? 8. A 70-year-old mother was driving slowly on the provincial road with three old people who were also mothers. The traffic police stopped him and said, "Mom, if you drive so slowly, it will affect the traffic." Mother said, "Doesn't that sign say 20?" The traffic police said, "That's Highway 20! The mother who was driving said, "Oh! Oh! What is that highway, not the speed limit! " The traffic police said: "Yes, doubt ~? Why are the other three mothers behind you so ugly? The mother who was driving replied, "We just drove from Highway 245! 9. wet dream! In the bookstore, suddenly Ah Zhu's eyes lit up, and she saw a book called Dreams on the Grassland. "wet dream" actually landed, which is amazing! Call jen to see it quickly. Ahua also opened it excitedly and took a closer look. Only then did I suddenly find that the directory said, "Dream of staying on the grassland. Arjun was disappointed and said unhappily, I want to publish a book called The Moon Always Hanging in the Sky 10. Two caterpillars are crawling on the grass. The male caterpillar said to the female caterpillar, Let's go home. How's it going? The female caterpillar said, OK! When the pair of caterpillars returned to the mother's house, the male caterpillar found that the mother caterpillar was wearing a wedding ring. The male caterpillar said, I don't do this with the married female caterpillar. The female caterpillar said, Don't worry! My husband won't come back, said the male caterpillar. How can you be so sure? The mother caterpillar said: He got up early today and went fishing. 1 1. When a man passed a house, a used condom suddenly flew down from the second floor window and landed on his head. The man felt sick and upset, so he went to the door of the house and knocked hard at the door. An old man opened the door and asked him why he knocked so hard. Someone asked, "Who lives on the second floor?" The old man replied, "What does this have to do with you? My daughter and her fiance live in it. "The man handed the condom to the old man and said," Well, I just want to tell you that your grandson fell from the 12 window. One day, a certain gentleman's wife gave birth to a baby. He hurried to the hospital to visit, waited for N hours, and there was crying in the delivery room. He shouted happily, I'm dad! At this time, the doctor came out with a sad face and told him that the child was born deformed. A gentleman stayed there and didn't understand why. Suddenly, his wife's crying came from the delivery room: it was all because of the murder that day. If you don't reply, you deserve it!