Jokes at work

1: The workshop is isolated from it, and no one can be seen in two places, two computers in the back room and two computers in the outer room.

Suddenly one day, at the end of work, the client was still standing and the computer died. I only heard the newcomer in the back room shouting at the old master in the outhouse: XXX, I'm dead!

The master in the outer room also quickly responded: I am dead, too! Everyone next to him was dumbfounded: Xiaoshan dialect is really interesting. Obviously, the computer died, but the exit itself died. It's ugly.

However, when it crashed, everyone still shouted "I'm dead!" " "

2. Another female colleague, a foreign client, came over. After reading it, she said in half dialect and half Mandarin: Master, you need an operation (the words "hand thread" and "operation" in Xiaoshan dialect are homophonic). We laughed and said to her, Do you think you are a doctor? Cut or cut? ! She died laughing.

A young man is always all thumbs, so he is always unemployed. This time, he found another job, working in an antique shop. On his first day at work, he broke an expensive glass bottle in the shop.

The boss is very angry: "I want to deduct the price of this bottle of wine from your monthly salary."

Hearing this, the young man breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Thank God, I finally found a longer job."

4. A man opened a restaurant in America, which was called "Unity Hotel".

As a result, one day, a hurricane came and blew down the signboard.

The boss thought that the hotel would still be open no matter what the wind and rain, so he found a worker to hang the signboard back.

Because Americans don't know Chinese characters, the boss almost fainted when he saw the signboard.

Because American workers put up the signboard as .......... S's "one-store big meal system"!

5: One night ... A Fei suddenly had a stomachache ... He hurried to the toilet.

After he closed the door ... he saw the words on the door ... Please look left ... He looked left ... As a result, it said on the left ... Please look right ... On the right ... After reading it ... it said ... Please look at the back. ...

The fat man doubted whether he would meet a ghost. As a result, he got up the courage to look back. ...

What are you looking at without shitting? ...

6:>； There is a pupil who has had a crush on his teacher for a long time.

& gt One day I finally got up the courage to confess to my teacher.

& gt teacher has been enlightening him, saying that he is wrong and so on.

& gt But primary school students are stubborn. They just won't listen! ! ! !

& gt also said that love is regardless of age! ! !

& gt At last, the teacher couldn't stand it. He said, I don't want children! ! ! !

& gt I saw a satisfied smile on the students' faces.

& gt said: Teacher, one of my colleagues often tells me: Fuck, fuck. So you know, he is a boy, haha, what's the matter? Please let me tell you.

7: The place where I work is a compound with many units and manufacturers. Because I was afraid of being stolen, I raised a big dog after the study, which was very fierce. On this day, the gentleman passed by the door after work and accidentally took a look at the big dog. He is very good. The big dog suddenly went crazy and jumped on it and took a bite. The gentleman was scared out of his wits. He just wanted to beat his legs and run, only to find that the dog was chained. Seeing this gentleman's heavy eyebrows, he blurted out: I depend on your mother to get up, how dare you scare me! Break your leg. . .

Will be very careful! ! ! !