A collection of classic English jokes?

Cold jokes have their own unique style and characteristics, and there must be certain reasons for their emergence and spread. Below I have compiled a collection of classic English jokes, I hope you all like it!

Excerpts from a collection of classic English jokes

Leave early ***Chinese and English***

These two construction workers always noticed that their boss always left early on Fridays. So one asked the other that if the boss left early next Friday if he would want to also. The other man agreed.

Two construction workers discovered Their boss always leaves work early on Fridays. So, one worker asked another if the boss would leave early next Friday, if they could leave early too. Another person agreed.

Sure enough, when Friday came, the boss left early. Therefore, the two men left also. The one offered the other to join him down at the bar, but he decided to just head on home. When he arrived home, he heard a noise from upstairs. When he reached the top of the stairs, he noticed that the noise was ing from the bedroom. He opened the door and saw his boss sleeping with his wife, so he quietly closed the door and headed back down the stairs and out the front door.

As expected, the boss left early again on Friday, so the two of them left too. One worker invites another to a bar, but the other decides to go straight home. When he got home he heard noises coming from upstairs. When he walked upstairs he realized the sound was coming from the bedroom. He opened the bedroom door and saw his boss and his wife together, so he closed the door gently, then went downstairs and rushed out the door.

He made his way down to the bar to see if his friend was still there and he was. His friend asked, "I thought you were headed home." The man replied, "I did, but this is the last time I ever leave work early again." His friend asked, "Why's that?" The man replied, "The boss almost caught me."

He came to the bar and saw his friend Still there. His friend asked him: "I thought you went home directly." The man replied: "I did go home, but this is the last time I leave early, and I will never do that again.

"His friend asked: "Why?" The man replied: "The boss almost caught me. ”

Appreciation of Classic English Jokes

Price ***Chinese and English***

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I' m afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

Relatives in the hospital waiting room, a member of their family is sick Very heavy. Finally, the doctor came in. He looked a little tired and worried. "I'm afraid I brought bad news." He looked at the worried faces and said, "Save your dearest ones." A person's only chance is a brain transplant. The surgery is still experimental and has only a half chance of success. You have to pay for the transplanted brain. "

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "hell, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and X200 for a female brain.” The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to ***ile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually looked.

Family members After hearing this news, everyone sat there in silence for a long time. Someone asked: "Oh my God, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor immediately replied: "A male brain costs five thousand dollars and a female brain costs two hundred dollars." . "The atmosphere became awkward at this point. The men in the room were trying not to laugh and avoid eye contact with the women, but some people still looked at them.

A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?" The doctor *** iled at the childish innocence and so to the The entire group said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've been used."

A man finally couldn't control his curiosity, Asked a question that everyone wanted to know: "Why are male brains so valuable?" The doctor smiled at the naive and ignorant man and said to everyone: "This is the standard price. We have to reduce the cost of female brains." Price, because their brains are used."

Appreciation of Classic English Jokes

Magic Mirror***Chinese-English***

One late. night, a blonde was traveling when she passed a hotel and decided to stop for the night. When she entered the hotel, she rented a room for the night and on her way up, she heard some ladies talking in the hall about a secret mirror in the girl's washroom on the bottom floor.

Late one night, a traveling blonde passed by a hotel where she decided to stop and stay overnight. She went into the hotel and rented a room to stay for one night. As she went upstairs, she heard some women in the hall talking about the mysterious mirror in the women's bathroom on the first floor.

The blonde became so curious that she had to check it out. So, that night the blonde went to the girls' washroom on the bottom floor. When she got there she saw a line in front of a mirror in which she joined.

The blonde was very curious about this and decided to take a look. Late that night, she came to the women's bathroom on the first floor. When she got there, she saw a group of people queuing in front of the mirror, so she joined them.

Now the rule with this magic mirror was that she who told the truth in this mirror would be granted any wish she desired, but she who told a lie in this mirror would be sucked up into the mirror and never seen again.

The person standing in front of the mirror must tell the truth, in that case, the magic mirror can fulfill a wish of the speaker. However, if you don’t tell the truth in front of the mirror, you will be sucked in by the mirror and never come out.

So the blonde watched, the first lady looked in the mirror and said, "I think I' m the most beautiful woman in the world..." sssssshhhhhhhuuuuuuuupppp, she was sucked into the mirror and never seen again. The next lady in line went up to the mirror and said, "I think I'm the sexiest woman in the world. . ." ssssshhhhhhhuuuuuuuupppp, she was sucked into the mirror and never seen again. Next the blonde went up to the mirror with total confidence and said, "I think. . ."ssssssssshhhhhhhhuuuuuuuppppp, she was sucked up into the mirror and never seen again!

Just like that the blonde looked at the first woman looking into the mirror Said: "I think I am the most beautiful woman in the world." "Hiss hiss..." She was sucked in by the mirror and never came out. The second woman walked up to the mirror and said, "I think I am the sexiest woman in the world." "Hiss, hiss, hiss..." She was also sucked in by the mirror and never came out. Then the blonde girl confidently walked to the mirror and said: "I think..." "Hiss, hiss, secluded..." She was also sucked in by the magic mirror and never came out!