Why should women bother women, and why should mother-in-law treat her daughter-in-law as an enemy?

I don't know what it's like abroad, but the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is definitely an eternal problem in China. There is a Yuefu poem "Peacock Flying Southeast" in junior high school textbooks, which should be the first article about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. According to the book, Liu, the wife of a small official in Lujiang Prefecture, was sent by Zhong Qing's mother and vowed not to marry. His family forced him to drown. When Zhong Qing heard about it, he hanged himself in the courtyard tree.

This Jiaomu is probably the earliest and most famous image of a wicked mother-in-law. Her daughter-in-law "can weave vegetarian dishes at the age of thirteen, learn to tailor at the age of fourteen, play the piano at the age of fifteen and recite poems at the age of sixteen". She starts knitting every day when the rooster crows, and she can knit five horses in three days. As a result, she became an adult too late and had to give up her daughter-in-law. The son knows his daughter-in-law's kindness and wants to persuade his mother. The mother Jiao actually pulled up the media for her son and said, "The master has a virtuous daughter who calls herself Qin Luofu. She is extremely pitiful, and her mother begs you. " The reason why she doesn't like her daughter-in-law is that "this woman has no manners and goes her own way", which is "she doesn't take me seriously" in modern vernacular. People can play the piano and read poems, which is a rare intellectual woman at that time. She has her own independent personality and thoughts. Jiao Mu, who has a strong feudal ideology, naturally dislikes it. No matter how well she does, she can't become a "virtuous woman" in her mother-in-law's heart. Finally, the couple threw themselves into the river, and one followed the "self-hanging southeast branch" and became a pair of bad karma mandarin ducks. However, such an eternal tragedy is still being staged until now, and the absurd things caused by the disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will always be exposed in the news from time to time. Mother-in-law drama has also become one of the most popular types of TV series. There are always some hit dramas such as Double-sided Adhesive and Beautiful Times of Daughter-in-law. Nowadays, all family ethics dramas are about fighting for a mistress and a mother-in-law. It seems that marriage life is so outrageous. Therefore, after years of TV drama baptism, the concept of "the world is a bad mother-in-law" is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. How many girls are most worried about getting along with their mother-in-law before getting married? It seems that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are inherently contradictory and will never stand together. Now even comedy shows are beginning to interpret this absurd concept and phenomenon.

Recently, the "Live Tonight" broadcast by Oriental TV at 22 o'clock every Friday staged a "special session on the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law", which interpreted different aspects of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and even broke the contradiction of "disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law" at the beginning. In this program, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can have fun together "Ge You paralysis" and lie down and eat melon seeds and other daughter-in-law to come to the door. As a result, my granddaughter Diamond, who came to the door for the first time, didn't know where to get a copy of "Looking at my mother-in-law" and said, "My mother-in-law said not to bother me, so I quit. I don't deserve the word daughter-in-law." "There is no picky mother-in-law. If a wife is not stabbed, she is not a good wife. " "If a daughter-in-law never kneels for her mother-in-law in her life, then she is not a good daughter-in-law. Seriously, she is not a person! " This set of "Raiders of Lovely Daughter-in-law" came down, but Mary couldn't help but start urging her mother-in-law to trouble herself, begging her mother-in-law to be picky and kneeling down. But are those so-called "raiders" familiar to everyone? Probably watching the oldest mother-in-law drama, write it from the perspective of a bad mother-in-law. As a result, this version of Raiders not only failed to please people, but also directly stunned Jin Jing, a "good mother-in-law". Just after waking up, Jin Jing said: "The raiders used to deal with the poisonous mother-in-law are all TV dramas used to deceive people. In our family, we pay attention to being ourselves and only being ourselves. In a blink of an eye, Jin Jing, who just finished playing Good Mother-in-law, presented another Bad Mother-in-law. This evil mother-in-law is probably familiar to the audience. She not only asked the woman who bought the house to pay the full amount, but also could not write the woman's name on the real estate license. She also asked to live together, to "practice" before getting married, and to sing and dance, which can please the elderly. And diamond actually did it one by one! Of course, comedy is exaggerated, and both examples are a bit extreme. But is there such a mother-in-law reality? There are indeed, and there are many more, otherwise it is impossible to make the audience feel substituted. The significance of the program is obvious. You can't just look at the problem from one side. There are good and bad mothers-in-law. You can't substitute each other for the image of a bad mother-in-law at the beginning, otherwise it's easy to wronged good people. Of course, you can't fall into the trap of a bad mother-in-law You have to have your own ideas. In fact, when it comes to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, most people think it is a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but some psychologists have analyzed that "the word relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a lie in itself, because it sounds like a binary relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but it ignores the essence-this is a triangular relationship between mother-in-law, daughter-in-law and son. "Moreover, the core of this triangle is the son, and the son is the key to solving the problem. If he does nothing, then the so-called relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can hardly be good. In addition to the confrontation between mother-in-law and mother-in-law, there is also a wife complaining to her husband about her mother-in-law. " Why does mother-in-law always spoil her son? ""what about the money I spent myself? " "Why should my mother-in-law take care of everything I wear? "These are the contradictions that are most likely to arise between independent women in the new era and old people with outdated concepts in the old era. They manage a lot, which is "good" from the starting point and even from some aspects. It can only be said that the concept conflicts in different times are too great. At this time, if the husband stands in the middle and makes a detour as a bridge to persuade and communicate, in fact, many problems can be solved. In fact, the biggest myth of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that one day, "a wife will become a woman" and one day I will become you. So I hope we can put ourselves in the other's shoes a little. Our understanding of each other may not be so simple and one-sided. Don't let the victim become a more vicious perpetrator. Maybe if we see through this, we can be better to each other. Life can be easier after marriage.