It's up to you to laugh or not! If you laugh, tell me the humorous jokes you know.

The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, backlight or full light?" "My uncle said shyly," I don't care. Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? "

Four mice brag: a: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: it itches if you don't step on a mouse for a day; C: Don't go to the streets several times a day. D: it's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat.

A little dog climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You are furious and say, if you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. As a result, the dog licked the chicken's ass and you fainted. The dog said, look who is cruel.

All the teachers resigned themselves to their fate and laughed until their stomachs ached.

Chinese teacher: during class, a classmate was reading a magazine, so I confiscated his magazine and hit him on the head ... but when I turned to continue the class, his deskmate actually burst out laughing, and the class couldn't go on, so I asked him, what are you laughing at? Do you know what he answered me? The boy took out a book from the drawer and said to me, "Teacher, it's a good thing you didn't find me reading, or you would have killed me."

Math teacher: how many students in a unit exam can actually use high school knowledge in the homework they handed in ... I asked him if he did this homework himself, and the classmate actually replied that I didn't know. Tell me, this is ridiculous. I continued to ask him who helped him. Well, he had reason to answer me: "Teacher, I really don't know who did this homework."

Physics teacher: Do you know how many classes I have taught, one clockwise and the other counterclockwise? Five classes! !

Yes, that's what I told them. I told them to look at their watches if they didn't understand. Clockwise hands are clockwise wherever they go, and vice versa. However, if the whole class counts, it's either a mobile phone or an electronic watch ... I will teach them these two words for a semester unless I resign.

PE teacher: Why don't I quit? Those boys gave me presents! ! No, it's right to give gifts. I'm not saying that they gave me a wrong gift, but that they gave me a wrong gift.

I'm getting confused. Let's just say that although I'm a little thin and my skin is a little white, I'm still a male teacher, right? But a few days ago, on March 8th Women's Day, those boys gave me a box of depilatory cream ... and told me not to wear woolen pants in summer. Shit, that's my leg hair!

Biology teacher: I really don't want to go, but ... you know, I have a heart attack and can't stand being excited, but can I not be excited? Yesterday's unit exam, according to the requirements of the syllabus, I asked the students to look at the bird legs in the teaching pictures and write down the names and living habits of birds. But as soon as I said I wanted the content of the exam, a classmate stood up and walked outside, muttering, "Shit, there are such questions, too." I won't take the exam. " Do you think such students need education? I stopped him and asked him his name. He actually pulled his trouser leg and exposed his leg and said to me, "Come, look at my leg and write my name ..."

Art teacher: You know, I have just been assigned to this class. Yesterday in class, I heard several students shouting "beauty" as soon as I entered the door. Do you find it irritating? I am a teacher. How can they be so rude? ..... Yes, it was wrong for me to resign because they called me "Beauty", but when I wanted someone to call me "Beauty", those classmates shouted to me again ... "What are you looking at? I'm not calling you! "

History teacher: Those students really can't teach. In class, I asked a question: "Do you know who Wu Zetian is?" The first classmate replied that he was not familiar with her, the second classmate replied that it was one of his netizens, the third classmate said that he had her QQ number and could ask after class ... Another classmate even took out his mobile phone and said to ask her out immediately!

Geography teacher: Look at their papers yourself. The top of the five famous mountains in China is Zhao Benshan, and the most famous river is Pan Changjiang. The coal in China is black, and the iron in China is hard. How can I attend class?

English teacher: When I was talking about independent structure, I specially taught them an example according to the requirements of the textbook: "Our teacher came into the classroom with a book under his arm" (our teacher came into the classroom with a book under his arm), but during the exam, all the students translated it as "The teacher came into the classroom with a book under his crotch" ...

Music teacher: I was in class, demonstrating a song ... After singing, all the students applauded. I am very happy. I was thinking that other teachers might have wrong teaching methods ... but they gave me a negative answer before I finished thinking about it. They shouted, "Teacher, that's great. You are the best ventriloquist among all the teachers. This is the first time we have heard such a duckling! "

Chemistry teacher: Me? Are you asking me? I haven't started class yet, and other teachers have been forced to resign. I'm waiting to bear their pain, if I don't quit.