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Is it a good or bad habit to use emoticons when chatting?
In those days, when chasing girls, youth in every era was inseparable from various expressions. Of course, only people born in the 1980s can realize how interesting it is to draw a few expressions by hand to entertain girls. This emoticon package is undoubtedly exclusive to the younger generation. Are the emoticon packages in QQ and WeChat so vivid?
-01-
Identify situations
As a teacher of interpersonal relations, people always ask me questions
"Teacher, why is he ignoring me? Did I say something wrong that made him hate me? What should I say to win his favor?"
For this series of questions, I would like to reiterate my point that the emotion behind the chat is far more important than the content of the chat itself.
Compared with face-to-face interviews, text-only communication such as WeChat chat has shortcomings in expressing emotions. Fortunately, the emergence of WeChat emoticons has overcome this obstacle and partially made up for this shortcoming.
So a real chat master, whether in life or on WeChat, pays more attention to expressions than language or text
A reader sent the following chat content, he does not I know why my good friend has been cold to me recently.
In this conversation, if you put aside the expressions, there is nothing wrong with it. But obviously the sentence "I injured myself by exercising too hard last night" offended the other party.
Classmate W said aggrievedly: What I said is correct. Can't friends still joke?
If you look at it outside of the context of chatting, either sentence alone may be correct. Girls and best friends sometimes call each other "little bitch", and boys who are particularly close friends also call each other "stupid".
Most people understand that a sentence has different effects in different situations. So how to identify the scene? Look at the WeChat emoticons.
Classmate W’s joke was wrong because he failed to pay attention to classmate M’s emotional needs. When a friend says that he has back pain, it is not impossible to complain about him. If he uses the expression after the word "back pain" like [smirk], [smirk], etc., then it is okay to complain
Because Self-deprecation is also a way to reduce stress and satisfy him.
But when the other party uses [sad], it means that he is in a low mood. At this time, if he wants to step on him with complaints, it will definitely destroy the relationship.
Sometimes, we spend a few years falling in love with someone, and then forget about this person with a WeChat emoticon.
-02-
It can only be understood, not expressed in words
There are many smiling faces in WeChat, but you have to understand that their meanings are different Yes, sometimes it’s even a huge difference!
For example, in the face of high housing prices, a doctor from Tsinghua University wrote an article, the general content of which is "House is not important, love is important"
A good friend of mine, Mr. Chen, He also graduated from Tsinghua University. He shared this article and the text in his circle of friends was.
“A doctor from Tsinghua University put forward the idea of ??using love to fight against high housing prices. Many people in the comments were moved to tears. They said that this is the feeling that a top 2 person should have [smile][smile] [Smile]"
A friend commented: The article is really well shared. Mr. Chen, you are a loving person. Both you and the author will live up to the reputation of Tsinghua University.
Mr. Chen’s reply to this comment was: [cover face][cover face][cover face]
Another friend commented: Lao Chen, you have such rotten chicken soup I also believe that using love to move house prices, is there anything more retarded than this?
Mr. Chen replied: There are really not many mentally retarded people [sweating]
I commented: Those in the comments must have been moved to tears by their own IQ!
Mr. Chen’s reply: It’s true that psychology is different, you still understand me.
Obviously, Mr. Chen completely disagrees with the idea of ??"fighting housing prices with love". He is very surprised why so many people support this absurd idea.
But due to his status and cultivation, he was unable to say it clearly, so he used a slightly ironic tone.
Sometimes, you will lament that communication is really something that “can only be understood but cannot be expressed in words.” In the end, I could understand Mr. Chen’s meaning, not his words, but the last three words of his words. [Smile]
In daily communication, the surface meaning of [Smile] is happiness, but the deeper meaning may be: contempt, ridicule or even disgust.
Because according to microexpression psychology, [smile] is a fake smile.
If you look carefully at the eyes with this expression, you will find that the muscles near the corners of the eyes are not moving. However, the muscles at the corners of the mouth are raised and the eyes are lowered.
This is an unfriendly or even hostile attitude. In popular terms, this is called a skinny smile.
In fact, the emoticon designer did not have such profound meaning at the beginning. But obviously many people have brought their life experience to WeChat emoticons, and eventually the meaning of this emoticon became: Damn, retarded.
So I suggest you, in a smile chat, if you want to express happiness, please use [呑ya] [smirk] [hanxiao].
-03-
"Pseudo-context" theory
As long as two people start to communicate, the surrounding atmosphere will change accordingly.
If the other party sends a positive message, you need to continue the current topic
If the other party sends an uncertain message, you must avoid it in time, otherwise the relationship will become unstable. Friendly and even defensive.
Postman once proposed the "pseudo-context" theory. He believes that any online communication has some kind of symbol to ensure the "legitimacy" of the communication.
In layman’s terms, because there is no way to “hang up the phone” in online communication to clearly indicate the end of the conversation. Terminators such as "Good night" and "I'm going to work" don't apply in all situations, so people use context to encourage or stop a conversation.
For example, when you see [Manual Goodbye], you need to change the topic or stop talking. Of course, if you also want to ridicule the other person or break off friendship with others, you can respond to him with these two expressions.
[Manual goodbye] superficially means: say goodbye with a smile.
The actual meaning is: I am too lazy to care about you!
Sometimes, your conversational style should change with people using different expressions.
For example, the Shiba Inu expression [doge face] which was once very popular on the Internet
On the surface, this expression means just a dog, but the actual meaning is "I am very cute and cute, you don't want it" Bully me!”
When you find a boy or girl who likes to use this expression, please avoid some dirty topics
If you want to judge whether a person is easy to get along with , then people who like to use this type of expression, because this type of expression reveals a message, that is, even if you encounter something very speechless, you still have to remain funny. This will make the overall evaluation of the information more positive and more conducive to harmony. The formation of atmosphere.
Of course, I don’t like people who like to use [picking their nose] in chat. I felt that the other person was looking down on me because of this expression, his eyes were looking to the right and half-open.
In today’s era of fragmented text, WeChat emoticons are no longer just an aid to language description
Although it cannot fully describe human emotions, the emergence of WeChat emoticons , but it makes online communication a little more humane.
Because of the fanatical worship of money, we disdain poetry and songs, so the language is tired when chatting, and naturally we gradually lose the ability to express emotions.
As a result, WeChat emoticons have taken on a responsibility that it should not have undertaken - to achieve mutual understanding through emotional communication.
This is an era with the richest expressions, and it is also an era with the thinnest expressions; with mobile phones, people seem to have everything and nothing.
So when it comes to chatting, I hope you can "show" more "emotion", and I also hope you can understand more about the turbulent emotions behind every simple symbol
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