What jokes make you laugh your head off?

A few small jokes collected from the internet are super funny.

1, a man in Chu crossed the river by boat and accidentally dropped his sword into the river. He quickly carved it on the boat with a knife. The boatman asked strangely, "What are you doing?" The man replied, "The sword fell from this place. I made a mark so that I could find it when I landed. " The boatman said, "Sir, are you going to dig such a big hole?" ? It's all leaked "

2. My friend is great. I remember in junior high school, my buddy smoked in the toilet during his lunch break at noon. Buddy took the last bite. He jerked and the dean suddenly came in. Seeing us leaning against the window, I asked, "What are you two doing?" I panicked and turned to look at my buddy. I remember his performance! He blew a lot of smoke from his nose and said, "I'm angry."

3. I remember that after the college entrance examination that year, I knew that I didn't do well in the exam, so I told my father truthfully that my exam results were not ideal and so on.

The father said helplessly, "If you don't, just repeat it."

At this time, the grandfather sitting on the side said angrily: "If you don't take the exam, you won't take the exam. What poison should I take? " ! " .

4. A group of engineering male discussed their graduation trip, so they talked about Phoenix in western Hunan and Shen Congwen and his Border Town. At this time, a 2 cargo said puzzled: "Nani, can Shen Congwen still say C?"

One day, while walking on the road, a person accidentally dropped his mobile phone, and several coins also fell to the ground. The phone broke in half, and the person next to it saw it and said, "Hey, look at others, the phone bill has dropped."

6. The English teacher asked Xiaoming, "Why didn't you hand in your homework today?" Xiao Ming said, "I brought it, but I forgot to bring it." The teacher said, "If you don't do it, say you didn't bring it! Do you know how to say this behavior in English? " Xiao Ming thought for a moment and said, "If you don't die, you won't die!" " ?