Want a super funny joke?

(1) A village head drank too much and went home by mistake in the pigsty. He lay beside the sow and said, Wife: Give me a glass of water, and the sow snorted. The village chief said, if you don't fall, you won't fall, and you won't scatter. Feel casually and say: buy leather clothes, or double-breasted ones.

(2) When the old couple went to take pictures, the photographer asked, "Do you want to measure light, backlight or full light?" Grandpa said shyly, "I don't care." Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? "

(3) One day, a barber beat a candied haws seller and went to the police station to ask the barber: Why do you sell candied haws? The barber said, * * *, I was perming my hair in the house, and he shouted "burn it" outside.

(4) A man is constipated when he goes to the toilet. Suddenly, he saw a man rushing in, and suddenly it was stormy. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast." "I envy you, I haven't had time to take off my pants yet!"

(5) When a foreigner was playing in Laiwu, he met an old lady teasing the cat and asked: What are you doing? The old lady replied: ancient cat! Foreigners are frightened, even the old people can speak foreign languages! Give it chocolate, and the old lady thinks it's dried sweet potatoes and says, I have it in Laiwu! Foreigners are dizzy!

(6) The butterfly said to the bee: You are so stingy. You pretend to be full of sweet words, but you won't give me a word. The bee said: Hum! Still talking about me, why didn't you text me with two antennas on your head?

(7) {Peer} dung beetles fell in love with mosquitoes. Dung beetles: "What is your occupation?" Mosquito: "What about you, nurse?" Dung beetles smiled: "Fate, peer, I am a Chinese medicine pinch pill."

Husband: What time is it? Wife: Ten o'clock. Husband: Is it sharp? Wife: It's too early. No one else is sleeping! I mean, ten o'clock sharp? Wife: Eleven o'clock sharp.

(9) The young couple fought and threw pillows downstairs. A beggar happened to pass by and was very happy. Then he flew away from the quilt. The beggar was ecstatic and cried upstairs with tears: Eldest brother, please throw that woman down.

Wife: Do you want to exercise in the evening? Husband: I've been thinking, wife: Then don't say you're tired from work, but you can't fool around at night. Husband: Of course, wife: I washed all my clothes that night.

(1 1) A young woman took out the garbage, accidentally slipped in the garbage and was about to get up. She was held in her arms by an old rag-picker. The old man said with emotion: people in the city just can't live, and such a good daughter-in-law said no.

(12) A big toe suddenly turned green. The doctor diagnosed it as cancer and removed it. A few days later, his second toe turned green. After taking it out, three days later, his soles turned green and he had to be transferred to a big hospital. The final expert consultation diagnosis is: socks fade.

A farmer drove a donkey into the city, and the donkey ran a red light and was fined 10 yuan. The old farmer drank the donkey: "You think you are a military vehicle! Dare to smash the red light. " After a few steps, the donkey knocked down a fruit stall and lost 200 yuan. The old farmer was even more angry: "Do you think you are an industrial and commercial city manager? You can lift whoever you want. " The old farmer led the donkey home and passed a meadow. The donkey chewed the grass and was punished in 30 yuan. The old farmer was very angry and scolded, "Do you think you are an inspection team going to the countryside? You can eat anywhere! " After the old farmer scolded him, he took the donkey to the river to drink water, but the donkey was stubborn and refused to drink. The old farmer was angry: "You think you are rich and don't drink without a young lady." The donkey turned and ran, drying a fishing net on the shore, and the donkey broke it. Fishermen claim compensation from 500 yuan. Tears welled up in the old farmer's eyes. "Do you think this is China Telecom? It costs so much money to surf the internet. " The donkey turned and kicked the old farmer. The old farmer scolded 1 helplessly, "Do you think you are a group owner? Kick whoever you want. " The donkey was very angry. He ignored the old farmer and became very silent. The old farmer said, "Do you think this is a QQ group? You can stop talking all day!

The boss calls his secretary: I will accompany you to Beijing to play these days. Please get ready.

The secretary called her husband: I'm going to Beijing to have a meeting with my boss these days.

Husband calls his lover: My wife is not at home these days, so she is with me.

The lover called the tutor: the teacher has something to do these days, and classes are suspended.

The student called grandpa: there will be no class these days, so you can play with me.

Grandpa called his secretary: I can't go to Beijing, but my grandson wants me to accompany him.

The secretary called her husband: the boss suddenly had something to do and didn't go to Beijing for a meeting.

Husband calls his lover: My wife is not leaving, let's talk about it next time.

The lover called the tutor: classes will be held as usual these days! ! !

The student called grandpa: the teacher said that classes would be held as usual these days.

Grandpa telephoned his secretary: Let's go to Beijing. Are you ready?