Classic joke

Q: Where do users like to turn off their phones?

Attendant: Ningbo

Q: Why?

A:? Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is power off.

There is a Grenade. One day, after eating, it cleaned its teeth. Suddenly, it found a thorn between its teeth. It exploded when it was pulled hard?

A reporter interviewed 100 penguins and asked them what they do all day.

The first one said: Eat and sleep to fight peas, and the second one said: Eat and sleep to fight peas. I have been asking 99 of them. When I asked100th, I said: Eat and sleep.

The reporter asked: Why not fight peas? Penguin said: I'm fucking peas, your grandmother.

I went to change my driver's license today, and the red light stopped at an intersection. As a result, a mother was stopped. She had a child on her back and an older child in front of her. Say, "Miss, even if your child doesn't wear a helmet, why don't you wear it yourself?" This doesn't make sense! "Mother said," you can't buy such a small child! ！” Said, "but you have to bring it yourself!" ！” Mother said, "Why should I take it? If anything happens to my child, I don't want to live! ! 」

A wolf came to the North Pole, accidentally fell into the sea of ice, and what became after being fished out? .. betel nut ...........

Xiaoying borrowed a pen from Xiaoming, but Xiaoming didn't. Xiaoying: Will it kill you to borrow it? So Xiaoming lent her pen to Xiaoying? After a while, Xiaoming died?

The teacher asked Xiaoming:? Why did you pour a basin of water on Xiao Qiang's head? Xiao Ming replied:? He hung the clothes out of the window, then wrung them out and dripped them on my head. ? Is it worth getting back at him like this? Is this revenge? Father said, the grace of dripping water deserves a spring! ?

Xiaoming was going to the university campus and got lost. Meet a gentle professor. Xiaoming: Excuse me, how can I get to the university? . Professor: Only by studying hard can you go to college.

Xiao Ming asked his mother, "Where am I from? My mother thought for a moment before answering, "It's from songbirds. That night, Xiao Ming wrote in his diary: "My parents have no sex life. 」

Six-year-old Fangfang is very cute and is often proposed by boys in her class. One day, Fangfang came home and said to her mother, Mom, Xiaoming from our class proposed to me again. Mother asked helplessly: Does Xiaoming have a regular job? Fangfang thought for a moment and said, is he the blackboard cleaner in our class?

A woman went to apply for a job, and the boss asked, How many children do you have? She replied: five. Boss: Then what are their names? She replied: Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming. The boss asked: Everyone is Xiao Ming. What should I do if I invite them to dinner? She said: As long as I call Xiao Ming, they will all come. The boss asked again: What if you only call a child? She said it was easier. I just need to call him by his last name.

Xiaoming:? Dad, why does the emperor call himself the son of heaven? Dad:? Because the emperor thinks he is the son of heaven? Xiaoming:? Then you are grandma's son, why don't you call yourself grandson? Dad:?

Xiaoming asked his father to tell him a story. Dad said do you want to listen to the long one or the short one? Xiaoming: Dragon! Dad:? Once upon a time, there was a fly. Hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum. Xiaoming: Dad, you'd better make a long story short! Dad: Once upon a time, there was a fly, hum, bang! ?

Xiaoming's grandfather died,

Because there is a public sacrifice, the body is frozen, and then please come out during the public sacrifice.

It happened to be hot at that time,

Thawed water drops appeared on my body.

Xiao Ming saw it next to him and shouted nervously:

? Grandma, grandma? Grandpa is sweating?

Grandma replied:

? Shh? Grandpa died for the first time, so nervous! ?

Xiao Ming said:? Mom, when I was on the bus with my father this morning, he asked me to give up my seat to a lady. ? Mom said:? You did the right thing. ? But, mom, I'm sitting on dad's lap. ?

Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher, "There are many ants in the toilet." The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiaoming. "What did ants say?" Xiao Ming has a blank face? Say, "ants? Didn't say anything?

One day, Xiao Ming went to a pigeon racing competition, and so did Xiao Ming on the day of the competition?

Teacher:? Iron will rust if it is placed outside and exposed to air frequently. Where's Kim Xiaoming:? Will be stolen. ?

Xiao Ming wrote an article entitled? Visit the zoo? The composition says:? The zoo is called a zoo because the garden is full of animals. Animals are kept in pens, and only a few people often stop in front of them. There are always more people watching in front of the orangutan area, because people have a sense of belonging there.

Math problem: Xiaoming has 32 pieces of sugar. . He ate 28 pieces of sugar in one sitting. . So now Xiaoming has it. . . Diabetes?

Xiaoming is waiting for the bus at the station.

A girl kept staring at him and laughing.

Xiaoming knows that he is handsome.

Attracted the girl's attention,

So I walked around a few times,

In this way, the girl opposite smiled more and more brightly.

When Xiao Ming saw it, he began to pace more vigorously in the same place.

An aunt on the side said to Xiaoming, Young man, will you stop stepping on shit?

The teacher asked Xiaoming:? What is the shape of the earth? Xiao Ming replied:? It is round. ? The teacher asked again:? How do you know it's round? Xiao Ming said:? Let's call it a square You are a teacher. I don't want to cause an argument about it.

Xiao Ming and Xiao Hong are deskmates. One day Xiaohong found Xiaoming staring at herself. So Xiaohong narcissistically shook her hair and said, have you never seen a beautiful woman? Xiao Ming shook his head and said, no, I just watch too many beautiful women and want to change my taste. ? .

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