Solicit jokes that can be changed into people's names

in a primary school, two students were quarreling. A said, "You ... scream again, and I can call someone!"!

b said, "you ... you fight! I don't believe it ... "

Then A really went to make a phone call, and when he came back, he put a cruel sentence:" You will know how to die in 3 minutes! ! !

At this time, B was extremely nervous, but there was nothing he could do. After 3 minutes, the school broadcast: "A classmate of B, you have a visitor, please go to the academic affairs office.

"wow! "Although B is very scared, but think about it is in the student affairs office, it should be fine.

So he went to the academic affairs office, and a teenager with blond hair came up to him and said, "Are you B?

B: "I am ..." ... sorry to have kept you waiting. Here are 1 Hawaiian pizza with drenched chicken, 53 yuan. "

b Order songs for the teacher.

Late at night, after correcting the last test paper, Mr. Wang turned on the radio wearily and wanted to listen to music to relax. The DJ's voice came from the radio: "All the students in Class X, Grade Three, XX Middle School dedicated this song to their beloved teacher Wang XX, thanking him for giving them countless exercises over the years (especially this year), which gave them valuable practice opportunities ..." Hearing this, Mr. Wang's eyes were moist and a comforting smile appeared on his exhausted face. The DJ went on to say, "... let's listen to this song together now, Li Huimin's" You will have no good result "..." His eyes turned white, foaming at the mouth, and he fell to the ground ... < P > C misused idioms < P > One day, Xiaojun wrote a composition in the classroom: "My Home".

Xiao Jun wrote: "There are three people in my family, my parents and me. Every morning when we go out, the three of us will ... show our darts and go our separate ways, and at night we will reach the same goal by different routes. Dad is an architect, pointing fingers at the construction site every day; My mother is a shop assistant, and every day she comes to the store. I am a student, and I am stupefied in the classroom every day. Three members of my family have the same stink, and the family is in harmony, but when my grades are not good, my father also fights with each other and cruelly beats me to the ground, while my mother stands by and never acts righteously. "

D healthy baby

… After doing homework for a long time, I turned on the radio conveniently, and a gentle voice came out: "… If the skin color pays dividends and the fluff on my face is tender and soft, it means that I am healthy …"

When I heard this, I couldn't help touching my face, looking at the mirror and smiling again, looking healthy and lovely.

At this moment, I heard the announcer say, "OK, listeners, that's all for our lecture on pig-raising knowledge ..."

e Whole person expert

When we were in high school, some teachers were very bad to our students. A group of students have been oppressed for a long time, so they discuss how to punish the teacher. One day, the teacher was lecturing in class, and a boy sitting in the back row showed pain and groaned gently with his hand over his stomach. The teacher didn't take a reason, and continued to preach. In the middle, the teacher just turned to write notes on the blackboard, and the boy suddenly "concave ... wow ...! ! ！” (Vomiting sound) A boy at the same table poured a bottle of eight-treasure porridge on the boy's desk at a very fast speed. When the teacher turned around, he saw that the desk was covered with yellow and white things. At this time, another boy took out a small spoon, scooped up the things on the desk one by one, and said while chewing, "Hey, this guy ate peanuts at noon." When the teacher saw this, he said, "Wow ... concave ...", and then he vomited wildly. < P > A police dog saw an ordinary dog coming on the road and ran fiercely to ask it, "I'm a police dog. What are you?" The ordinary dog looked at it dismissively and said, idiot, look more clearly, I'm in plain clothes!

The latest report of Xinhua News Agency: On your way to xishuangbanna tourism, Yunnan, you were besieged by a group of wild boars. All the tourists took out food and money, and the wild boars were unmoved. You took out your only ID card, and the wild boars knelt down and cried, "Boss, we found you."

You drank too much, and you accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over: What happened? You said: I don't know, I just arrived!

You have indigestion recently, and you complain to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. How can I get back to normal if I eat cucumbers and eat watermelons? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

someone keeps a pig at home, which is annoying! So he abandoned it, but it failed several times. However, he knew the way home, drove away the pig for several days, and called in the evening. His husband said, Will the pig return? Wife: Go home! Her husband was furious: put it on the phone, I'm lost!