What are some funny workplace jokes?

The complete list of workplace jokes is as follows.

1, professional habits:

There are two mosquitoes in the mosquito net. One is full and the other is empty. The wife asked her husband, a prosecutor, to fight mosquitoes. The husband made an extraordinary move, killing the fat mosquito with one hand, but holding it back with the other. The wife asked him why he didn't fight, and the husband said, "There is not enough evidence."

2. I put my foot in my mouth:

One day, I sent materials to another company. Xiao Zhang of that company received me warmly. Xiao Zhang thanked me very much and said thank you directly to me. I said, "You're welcome, you're welcome."

When he left, Xiao Zhang said thank you to me again. I opened the door and said, "Nothing, nothing, take care, don't send it." "A go out, I that call a regret. I hope they didn't hear me.

3. Breakfast:

I got up late again in the morning and went to work hungry. When it came to work, I quickly got rid of the work I didn't finish last night, and then began to rummage through the drawers. Luckily, I found my favorite biscuit. So, while eating cookies, I sat in front of the computer and worked.

Not long after I finished eating cookies, Xiao Qiao came in and asked me for a piece of information. I was just about to fetch water, so I asked her to look for it from my computer. After drinking water, Xiao Qiao asked me while looking for information, "Did you eat chocolate biscuits this morning?" I asked her in surprise, "How do you know? I threw away all my bags. " Xiao Qiao said, "Hum, what have you eaten? I just need to ask your keyboard. " When she finished, she turned my keyboard upside down. Spilled biscuit crumbs all over the table.

Step 4 present

Recently, Cai Xiao jumped ship. Usually everyone gets along well, and her colleagues are reluctant to leave. Everyone began to give gifts to each other as souvenirs. I gave her my beloved hero pen and said, "Think of me with this pen in the future." Deeply moved, Cai Xiao turned and picked up a dog-face cushion from his chair and said, "This is for you, so that you can see things and think of people in the future." I took it and said, "All right." Then everyone laughed.

5. Fried prawns:

When I went out to eat that day, I just got a bonus. As soon as I was happy, I ordered a fried shrimp from 50 yuan. After ordering, my phone rang. It's Xiao Hu He said, "Where are you? Come to XX Hotel, Lao Zhao will treat you today. " "Ha ha, that's great." I quickly called the waiter and said, "Help me pack the prawns and I'll take them back to my wife."

I take shrimp to a restaurant. Lao Zhao has a sharp eye. As soon as I entered the private room, he saw the prawn in my hand. "Ha ha, Xiao Duan, it's very kind of you. Come when you come, add a dish. " I didn't want to give them food, and I was embarrassed to say it, so I had to smile and say, "Nothing, nothing." I put the fried shrimp on the table. Lao Zhao called the waiter and said, "My friend bought me a fried shrimp. Please return the prawns I originally ordered. " The waiter said politely, "Sorry, it's already cooked." Lao Zhao said, "Well, then help me pack it and I'll take it back to my wife." I was very angry, so I stood up and said, "My wife likes this dish. How's this? Just give me this fried prawn. " Hearing this, Lao Zhao said happily, "Great, you can eat this fried prawn, but you have to pay for it yourself." Well, I can't take back what I said.

6. One-yuan welfare:

I went on a business trip during the Mid-Autumn Festival. On the day I came back to work, Lao Liu from the accounting office called me: "Let me tell you something. The Mid-Autumn Festival unit paid 100 yuan." In our poor and small unit, it is a pioneering thing to give 100 yuan in the Mid-Autumn Festival. In previous years, we always distributed two boxes of moon cakes or a few Jin of grapes. So I said happily, "This year's leadership is really good. Our family just ran out of oil, so I will use this money to buy barrels of oil in the future. "

Lao Liu said, "What are you happy about? I have not finished my words yet. The day before yesterday, I received a notice from my superiors that I would launch a "one-day employment donation" activity throughout the system. In proportion to your donation, you just donated to 99 yuan. You still have 100 yuan, and 1 yuan. " After that, Liu took out 1 yuan from the drawer and handed it to me.

7. Empathy:

On rainy days, there is traffic jam on the road. It was already late at work 10 minutes. I thought I would be scolded by the manager, but the manager kindly said to me, "Xiao Li, hurry up and work." I was a little overjoyed and asked Lao Zhou, "What delicious beans did the manager eat today? If someone was late as usual, he would have been chattering. " Lao Zhou said with a smile: "Because he can feel the same now." I asked curiously, "Is the manager late today, too?" Lao Zhou shook his head and said, "It's all his daughter who is always late for school. As a result, our manager was called to school for training. "