Wisdom, humor and philosophical jokes (post a few philosophical humorous jokes)

01

A rich woman was taking her dog for a walk when she met a beggar on the road. She taunted the beggar arrogantly: "You don't care how my dog ??barks, Dad, I'll give you one hundred yuan!"

The beggar said, "What if I bark ten times?" The rich woman happily said, "I'll give you 100 yuan!" One thousand!" The beggar immediately shouted "Dad" to the dog ten times, attracting a crowd of spectators.

In full view of everyone, the rich woman had no choice but to pay him. The beggar took the money and shouted repeatedly: "Thank you, Mom! Thank you, Mom..."

Comment: Every time you act smart, you have to pay the price. If you are arrogant and face up to the sky, sooner or later you will fall to pieces.

02

A couple had a fight on the street, and the girl slapped her boyfriend hard.

In order to save face, the man shouted to the girl: "Slap me again if you can!"

His girlfriend slapped him again without hesitation. The man paused and said: "Since you are so obedient, I will spare you.

Comments: Self-humiliation and self-disgrace will never be effective in directly fighting back. Don't talk about things you are not sure of easily. No matter how you exit, you will hurt yourself in the end.

03

A black man was trapped in the desert for three days without water. When he was about to die, he made three promises to God.

The first is to have clean water to drink every day in the next life, the second is to be a Caucasian in the next life, and the third is to see beautiful women every day in the next life. God promised him, so he became a toilet in his next life!

Comment: Blindly pursuing what you want may not be a good result, and you will eventually have to pay the price for your greed. >

04

When I entered the house, I found a hundred-dollar bill on the table.

My mother usually doesn’t give me any pocket money. Oh my god! Is she showing mercy this time? I couldn't help but feel happy.

When I picked up the banknote, I found a note underneath. I picked it up and looked at it. It said: "Today is your grandma's birthday. Wait for me at home. We will." Let’s go together to celebrate my grandma’s birthday.

Attention - the one hundred yuan is not for you, it is to get your attention! ”

Comments: The snake is seven inches long, and you can hit it with just one hit.

05

Once, I asked my four-year-old daughter as a joke :

"We are going to raise a pig, but we need to arrange work. We need to choose one person to feed the pig delicious food every day, one person to clean the pig's room every day, and one person to bathe the pig every day. Choose someone to play with the pig every day. What do you do? "

The daughter replied without hesitation: "Be a pig! ”

Comments: There is no established answer in life. The choices you give others are often just what you want others to choose, but it does not mean that others will definitely choose according to your wishes.

06

A leader became so angry that he became a vegetative state after being dismissed.

The doctor said: "Maybe it would be better to read him a notice of reinstatement. . "

His wife thought that since she wanted to recite, she might as well recite the highest one to make him happy.

Unexpectedly, after reciting, the leader stood up and laughed loudly. The doctor sighed and said, “I didn’t follow the doctor’s advice and increased the dose without authorization! ”

Comments: There is only a thin line between life and death. Some people kill themselves with desire, some people kill themselves with hope, and some people kill themselves with ignorance.

07

An old man went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables. He picked three tomatoes and put them on the scale. The stall owner weighed them: "One and a half pounds is 3 yuan and 7." ”

Uncle: “You don’t need so much to make soup.” "The biggest tomatoes were removed.

Stall owner: "One catty and two taels, 3 yuan.

"

Just when the people around him wanted to remind the uncle to pay attention to the scale, the uncle calmly took out 70 cents, picked up the big tomato that had just been removed, and walked away gracefully.

Comment: Change the algorithm and find a new way, and you will find another way to solve the problem