Super funny 20 classic sentences

1. Looking back on my work for more than ten years, I have tasted the bitterness and hardships of society. From nothing at the beginning to 300,000, from 300,000 to 2 million, from 2 million to 10 million. I'm not showing off. I just want to tell my friends through my own experience: the higher the pixel of the mobile phone, the clearer the photos taken!

2. The sun sets and the breeze blows gently. On the roof of a building, there is a couple snuggling together. The man said, honey, your mother must be a thief. The woman said: Why! The man said: Because she stole the brightest star in the sky and hid it in your eyes. The woman said: well, disgusting! I pushed the boy, and then an ambulance appeared in the silent sky, forcing him to push it down!

Let me tell you about the gap between brothers and girlfriends. A woman spent the night outside, saying she slept at a friend's house. Her husband called ten of her friends, and none of them knew about it. Another man spent the night outside, saying that he was sleeping at his brother's house. His daughter-in-law called his ten brothers, eight said he was sleeping in his own house, and two said he was not awake. Ask him to call you back when he wakes up.

Accompany my girlfriend to see her parents today. Her parents don't agree with me anyway, and insist that I give 50 thousand bride price. When I was angry, a big mouth hit his father in the face. I also told her father that this is a fucking marriage. I want to give you money. Isn't this a fucking whore? That was when we broke up.

If you meet this kind of girl, her family is not very good and she has no job, but she is dressed in fashion, enchanting figure, wearing brand-name luxury goods and holding the latest iphone, then you must cherish it. She can do anything!

6. I saw a dozen people beating my brother two days ago. Do you think I can stand it? I can't! I rushed up and solved half of it. Five people hit me and five people hit him.

7. Brother, I haven't been able to contact you recently. Listen to me. Your father asked me to give you a message: don't mess around in big cities, or you will come back to infect your daughter-in-law and hurt your brother. But if your sister-in-law infects your father and makes something happen to your mother, the whole village will be finished!

8. Do you have any friends who know about sports cars? Please recommend a sports car of 4 million to 8 million, which requires good performance, fast start, high horsepower, high comfort, fashion and beauty. I regard it as a paper wall of my mobile phone.

9. Don't wait for my tears, you will understand my sadness. Don't wait for me to disappear before you know I exist. Don't wait for me to get angry before you know I'm going to slap you in the mouth.

10, why did the 90-year-old woman die naked in the street? Why do hundreds of donkeys scream at midnight? Why are condoms repeatedly attacked by black hands in the canteen? Why are girls' dormitory underwear often stolen? Who did the serial rape of sows? The old nun's door is knocked at every night. Are you a spirit or a human? What is hidden behind the accidental death of hundreds of little bitches? Behind all this, is it the distortion of human nature or the decline of morality? Is it a sexual outburst or despair? Please pay attention to the lecture room at 8 o'clock tonight and follow the camera into the inner world of "exploding your big chrysanthemum"!

1 1. Today, I went to the Internet cafe to surf the Internet. I sit next to a pupil who plays League of Legends. Suddenly, his phone rang. He answered the phone with a mouse in one hand and a phone in the other. He said, "Dad, I am studying in the remedial class today. I will go to the teacher's house for dinner and go home later! " At this time, I shouted: "stationmaster, come to the bucket to make instant noodles!" " "Mama of, I can still remember his deep eyes.

12, yesterday morning, I met a sister who was going to commit suicide by jumping off a building, so I called her and walked beside her. I said, sister, you are going to die anyway. Let me do it before you die, okay? At that time, the girl was so angry that she called me a pervert and refused. I said ok, then you jump, I'll wait for you downstairs, and we'll do the same in the future. So call me to save her, pass positive energy, don't ask me my name, my name is Lei.

13, just came home from dinner. I saw a man and a woman in a car. I don't know who locked their car door and shut it in. It looked so hot that she took off all her clothes. The woman's expression was particularly uncomfortable, as if she were dying of lack of oxygen, so I picked up the stone on the ground and smashed it at the window, leaving without looking back. Don't thank me.

14, one day my wife asked me, what am I to you? Honey. I said that you are my Youlemei, and I will interfere with you every day.

15, dear, you are like the brightest star in the night sky in my heart. It doesn't matter if one is more or less.

16, everyone knows that Dongguan is the sex capital. I have only one question about this behavior in Dongguan, which is harmful to social corruption, China tradition, the country and the people. How much is a prostitute?

17, rape if you like, what's the use of confession? Do it if you can't catch it, drug it if you can't catch it, and send nude photos when you break up.

18, drank too much last night, and then drove home. The traffic police stopped me at the intersection and took out a machine to tell me, blow. So I started blowing. I said that my family has a fortune of 100 million, more than 500 houses, 6 Lamborghini cars and 8 Maserati cars. The traffic police yelled at me at that time. He said, I want you to blow, rabbit. It dawned on me, and then I began to brag about the equipment in the hands of the traffic police, which was special equipment for fucking American agents. It's an imported product, which is awesome and expensive! Later, I recorded a confession at the police station for one night.

19. Just now I saw a man driving a Porsche Cayenne in the parking lot, and he couldn't stop for a fucking long time. He couldn't get into the parking place, so I parked my car and wanted to help him. He still refused. I said, look at my parking skills. I said I won't shave you. He simply rolled up the fucking windows, and now the mutual trust between people in this society is so low! Angry at me, I got in the car and left, and the chain of the car was fucking kicked off.

20. I had a drink with the goddess who had a secret crush for a long time yesterday. I watched her lying in my bed drunk. I looked at her sexy thighs and sexy high heels. Two little people appeared in my heart. The little man on the left said that you should fuck her quickly. Fuck her! The little man on the right says, yeah, yeah, fuck her!

20 excellent classic love quotations

1. The cruelest thing in the world is not that you didn't meet the person you love, but that you met and finally missed it. The saddest thing in the world is not that the person you love doesn't love you, but that he doesn't love you after he loves you.

2, love for a long time, is the real fate. People who like you want your gift. People who love you want your future. True love is not love at first sight, but long-term love; The real fate is not the arrangement of heaven, but your initiative; The real concern is not that you ask her to change what you think is good, but that you first discover her change; The real contradiction is not that she doesn't understand you, but that you refuse to tolerate her.

3. Everyone who doesn't understand love. You will meet someone who understands love. And then experience a heartbreaking love. People who don't understand love gradually understand. I know how to love people, but I dare not love them again.

4. The love that truly belongs to you will not make you suffer, and the person who loves you will not make you suffer. Some people won the first prize with one vote, and some people were famous for writing books. Anyone who feels hard is demanding. True love makes people happy. If you feel pain, you must have made a mistake and need to end it immediately and start over.

5. I love you, it has nothing to do with you. Even endless thoughts at night only belong to me and will not bring it to dawn. I love you, it has nothing to do with you. Even if I stand by and stand by you at this moment, I still hide my eyes behind my back and don't want you to see them. I love you, it has nothing to do with you, so why can't I remember your smiling face, but I can see your sadness infinitely? I love you, which has nothing to do with you, but belongs to my heart.

6. I don't want to be rich, I don't want to be comfortable and enjoy. I only hope that people around me can care about me subtly and sincerely, and love and cherish me selflessly and sincerely. So what about facing difficulties and going through hardships together? As long as you give me this confidence, let me believe that I can rely on it for a lifetime, then what am I afraid of! Love is simple to say, but selfless and sincere love is not easy!

7. Forgetting a lost relationship and someone who no longer loves you is as painful as quitting drug addiction. When you are addicted to drugs, your whole body is shaking, your body is twisted and your insides are tumbling. You want to hit the wall, you fall to the ground and struggle, crying and losing your dignity as a human being. But who told you to take drugs? Everything has a price? You should have known from the beginning.

8. McDull's view of love 1. Love is like poop; You can't stop when you come. 2. Love is like poop; Once the water is washed away, it will never come back. 3. Love is like poop; It's the same every time, but it's different. 4. Love is like poop; Sometimes it takes a long time to work hard but it's just a fart! (-McDull, this pig knows too much.

9. Love is sometimes like second-hand smoke. Once it just goes out and spreads, it will be regarded as a passing cloud and will only make your eyes red. Smoke that spreads too easily makes people have no courage. Sometimes, love is like sex, just pouring but still, just like an illusion, just wet with thoughts. The hatred for cool thin is so fragile that people can't bear to leave.

10, if you love someone, you will be inexplicably lost together. Like a person, it is always joy; If you love someone, you will often cry. If you like someone, you will smile when you think of him. Love a person, when you think of him, you will look at the sky blankly. Like a person, is to see his advantages; To love someone is to tolerate his shortcomings. Like, is a kind of mood; Love is an emotion.

1 1, there is a kind of love, obviously deep love, but the expression is not perfect. There is a kind of love that knows to give up, but is unwilling to leave. There is a kind of love, knowing that it is suffering, but it cannot be avoided. There is a kind of love, knowing that there is no way out, but the heart can't be redeemed.

12, after breaking up, you can't be friends because you hurt each other and you can't be enemies because you love each other deeply! So we became the most familiar strangers! Feelings in fact, I really can't afford to lose! If one day in the future, you say you want to leave me, I won't keep you, I know you have your reasons! If one day, you say you still love me, I will tell you that I am still waiting for you!

13, don't think that you can get married late when you are still young. Love is different in age; Don't give up because the distance is too far, love can accompany you by train; Don't give up because the other person is not rich, as long as you are not incompetent, hard work will make you rich; Don't give up because your parents object, you will find that giving up love for this reason will be a lifelong regret.

14, love doesn't need to be grasped deliberately. The more you want to grasp your love, the easier it is to lose yourself. You should keep tolerance and understanding, and love will become a form without beauty. Everyone wants to have a happy love forever, so learn to treat love as a handful of sand, cherish it and grasp it well, and love will be perfect.

15, in fact, love is a stage of self-improvement. We are experiencing our own life. You have loved others, been loved by others, been hurt, hurt others, been happy, depressed, disappointed, missed, waited, suffered, and then suddenly realized that gains and losses are not important. The most important thing is that when you grow up, become smart and brilliant, your life will never be the same again. When you are in love, you don't have to be so realistic. After falling in love, you must be realistic.

16, some people will never be together in this life, but there is a feeling that they can hide in their hearts for a lifetime; It takes two people to make a decision when we are together, and only one person when we are apart; Marriage is not a milestone, but a process of getting along and the beginning of another life; Because of the wind and rain, happiness is more worth cherishing. People will always find a way to wait for their happiness.

17, the biggest fear for feelings is doubt. The most worrying thing about feelings is losing trust in each other, so you begin to alienate each other until there is a potential crisis in your relationship. You don't understand, it's not that she is too realistic, but that the love you gave her is unrealistic.

18, like a person, will be very happy together; Love a person, together will be inexplicably lost. Like a person, it is always joy; If you love someone, you will often cry. Like a person, is to see his advantages; To love someone is to tolerate his shortcomings. Like, is a kind of mood; Love is an emotion.

19, at that moment, you finally found that the person who once loved deeply had disappeared in this world as early as the day of farewell. Love and yearning in my heart are just memories. I think, some things can be forgotten, some things can be remembered, some things can be willingly, and some things are powerless. I love you, and this is my disaster.

I love you for no purpose. Just love you. Just be yourself once in your life. This time, I want to give you the world. This time, it doesn't matter if you are black and blue. This time, use all your courage. This time, you can care nothing. But this time is enough. Because life can't bear such a heavy love.

Healing is 20 super classic love quotations.

Selected 20 Super Classic Love Quotations from Healing Department

1, the past is like water, like an ignorant black sheep, I squandered all the way until the end of that day, only to find that I had no money.

2. A woman always has to fall in love once in her life, neither early nor late. It's better to come early than late. Love comes early, it is enjoyment; Love comes late, which is trouble. Young girls should not be frightened by the "lovelorn" pursuit of love. You know, it's not terrible to be lovelorn at the age of 20, but it's terrible to start lovelorn after the age of 30.

You always like to put things off until the next day. You can't always procrastinate like this. One day, you will have a lot to do, and the rest of your life will not be enough for you.

Time heals sadness and disputes, because we are changing, and we will no longer be the same person. Small things can comfort us, because a small thing can sting us.

5, lost things, in fact, never really belong to you, there is no need to regret.

6. When you miss someone, miss them as much as possible. Maybe one day, you won't miss him so much. On that day, you will miss the feeling of missing someone very much. When you love someone, try to love them and let them know how much you love them. Maybe one day, when you grow up, you will never love someone so warmly again after you have suffered too many injuries, too many disappointments and too many thoughts.

7. If I have seen the world you have seen and walked the road you have traveled, will I be closer to you?

8. Not all dreams can be realized in time, and not all words can be told to you in time. Regret is always deeply rooted in the heart after parting, although they say that all kinds of things in the world will eventually become empty. I didn't mean to miss it, but I kept doing it, missed yesterday, which was full of flowers, and missed today.

9. If I had never tasted the warm feeling, maybe I wouldn't be so cold; If I had never felt the sweetness of love, I might not be so painful; If I had never left my room, I wouldn't have known I was so lonely.

10, I believe that people who really care about me will not be taken away by others. Whether it is friendship or love.

1 1. When people are around, they think there will always be opportunities. In fact, life is subtraction, with one side missing.

12, I promised myself that if he turned back, I would hug him and end it, but he never turned back and there was nothing I could do. I want to tell him that I love him. I want to say I love him, but I know my tears will flow before I speak, so I still didn't say anything.

13, there is such a thing in life: you have met someone every day for several months, so your relationship with him has become very close. At that time, you even thought about how to live without this person. Later they separated, but everything went on as before. The partner you once thought you could not live without is now dispensable. Day after day, over time, you don't even think about him.

14, I believe that people who really care about me will not be taken away by others. Whether it is friendship or love.

15, the beginning of love is casual-it is extremely natural for a person to have a good impression on a person; Unfortunately, there are so few people willing to fall in love without the encouragement of the other party.

16, we must gradually mature, see this flashy world more clearly, see through the disguised truth, see the hidden falsehood, and make many things that we originally believed no longer believe. However, believe that there is more beauty than darkness, more joy than suffering in this world, and there are still many things worth continuing to believe.

17, there is such a thing in life: you have met someone every day for several months, so your relationship with him has become very close. At that time, you even thought about how to live without this person. Later they separated, but everything went on as before. The partner you once thought you could not live without is now dispensable. Day after day, over time, you don't even think about him.

18, once upon a time, a man suddenly walked into your life, taught you what love is, and then he left. The two luckiest things in my life, one is that time has finally exhausted my love for you, and the other is that I met you one day a long time ago.

19, partner, you don't have to go to the end. On a certain road, the laughter brought by the other party is enough.

20. I always thought I won. I didn't know I lost until I looked in the mirror one day. At my best, my favorite person is not with me.

A selection of 20 funny quotations from the classic dry rice man (selected 20 sentences)

1. I want to have a good meal on that smelly and decadent day.

Don't call me single dog, I'm not like them, I'm the lightning wolf in the canteen.

Working hard as a migrant worker may not make you rich, but working hard as a freeloader will definitely make you look rich.

Baby, why do I miss you so much? No dry food? roll

5. Eat well, sleep well and live well. I hope my past efforts can realize my ideals and wishes.

6. Today, I am running for the canteen king. I suddenly forgot the words at the back of my manuscript. After a while, I said, don't forget Ling Yunzhi when I was young. I once promised the canteen king.

7. I visit myself three times a day. What do I have for lunch? What to eat at night? When shall we eat?

8. Nothing can't be solved by a dry meal. If yes, do it twice.

9. There are two dazzling lights in the world, one is the sun and the other is the way you work hard.

10. People who eat rice should eat in a pot.

1 1. Some people are worried about exams, others are worried about elections, and only I am worried about what to eat every day.

12. A person washes a piece of meat for a long time, and when he sees two things sticking together, he should separate them.

13. Dry food runs ahead and work runs behind.

14. Migrant workers are also dry people, but only by eating well can they grow well.

15. Dry all the meals in the canteen and let others have nothing to do.

16. Don't plant seedlings upside down with youth. Love doesn't smell good, it's over.

17. The sleeping king in the classroom, the rice king in the canteen, the lonely king in the school and the ham Wang Zhongwang are getting stronger and stronger. I want Mujiro to make jelly.

18. 80% of the pain in life comes from dry food, but I know that if there is no dry food, 100% of the pain comes from lack of money, so I choose dry food between dry food and lack of money.

19. If you come to my house for dinner, I will poison myself.

20. Don't call me single dog, I'm a lightning wolf.