Humorous and funny quotes

Humorous words will make people feel funny. Please enjoy what I have compiled for you below.

Classic

1 True love is that he can look past thousands of big-breasted, long-legged beauties and see you at a glance, rough, wild and meaningless.

2 Just now I was reaching for food on the bed, and my head accidentally touched my knees. I broke out in a cold sweat. If I were a greedy snake, I would die.

3 It’s not that I stay up late, it’s that the night needs my bright star.

4 When I saw you falling down on the street that day, I was so anxious that I wished reality could be like the Internet, where you can tap a like in the lower right corner.

5 A boy who warms only one girl is called a warm man, and a boy who warms all girls is called a boiler.

6 I used to be a thin person, until a sentence changed me. You eat, eat, but you are not fat. I mistakenly thought that I was really not fat.

7 I finally understand why "friendship" in English is friendship, because the boat of friendship can capsize easily.

8 Don’t be too envious of your friends who have more steps than you in the sports rankings. They may not have walked very far, they just have short legs.

9 For a kind-hearted person like me, I usually negotiate with each grain of rice before slowly putting it into my mouth with embarrassment.ツ

10 As long as you want it, as long as I have it, I won’t give it to you no matter what.

Selected articles

1 Never fight with the wind. Even if you are good at martial arts and the wind does not hurt you, you will still catch a cold if you catch a cold.

2 When I was a child, I always thought that Cao Xueqin was a woman! Li Qingzhao was a man! The driver and the conductor were both married...

3 Don’t ask me why I did so poorly in the exam, I was hiding it Strength, have you ever seen someone in Doudizhu drop a bomb as soon as he comes?

4 When I fall down on the street and people around me laugh at me, I get up and fall a few more times to make them laugh to death.

5 In ancient times, the nine-tailed fox had nine lives, and they died in different ways: language, foreign affairs, history, geography, etc. ￣～￣

6 Be sure to use your right ear when listening to results, because the left ear is close to the heart and may lead to sudden death.

7 Boys are so simple. No matter what help we need, there is only one simple request, "Call daddy."

8 I often remind myself that I must be more mature, but grab I still have to kill the person who gives me snacks!

9 My bed is dragging me hard every morning to prevent me from leaving. It’s really annoying. No, I have to find a way to cure it.

10 People with big faces usually have good tempers, because it is really hard to fall out with a big face.

11 I also had the seeds of infatuation, but a light rain wiped them out.

12 ╰' Before I become a legend, come and chase my sister.√

13 ゛〆~Please don’t look up at me at 45°, or don’t blame me for using 90° Looking down at you≈

14 I held hands last summer, waved my hands this summer

15 You said your leaving was my loss, but I’m sorry, I bought insurance.

16 The sorrow of every short-sighted person: the world is flat when you take off your glasses. Hermaphrodites are seen 30 meters away, and humans and animals are indistinguishable 50 meters away. . .

17 Before I drank, I belonged to Shenyang. After drinking, Shenyang belonged to me.

18 Since you can’t afford to drive a bicycle, then drive a Mercedes!

19 The ocean-like murderous intention comes from the ant-like jealousy.

20 Mom doesn’t let me make bad friends, no wonder all my friends are so bad.

Popular articles

1 These days, it’s not Sohu is Sogou, and I can never search for you.

2 No matter how good the chain is, it cannot tie up a running dog

3 Rejoice has made a difficult decision. If it is found that the user has used Head and Shoulders on their head, it will be automatically converted. As a hair loss agent.

4 A true warrior is a glutton for being fat, staying up late even if he is sleepy, star-chasing for being poor, and controlling his appearance even if he is ugly.

5 I’ve even given up spicy strips, so what else can I be reluctant to part with?

6 Silly boy, low IQ. I just blame your mother for giving you Sanlu.

7 Your neighbor's name is "***", and you are *** next door.

8 Most fools are driven stupid by themselves, so they are also called "***".

9 What a terrible *** an educated *** is.

10 No matter it is a white hat or a black hat, a hat that turns green is definitely not a good hat

11 Don’t call me crazy, because I have never been normal. Don’t argue with the insane

12 I wish all lovers in the world are long-lost brothers and sisters

13 It’s another boring day, whose dad has time? Make an appointment to chat. . .

14 I want to study more. Even if I become a gangster in the future, I will still be an educated gangster.

15 Although I am not a horse, I am not an ordinary donkey either.

16 Don’t they all come from the first number? Why did that woman say that her number only comes from the traffic? You Do you understand?

17 Every time I’m in a bad mood, I can’t eat, and I feel like I’m sorry for myself.

18 ◇◆丶The exam will be held tomorrow. I will definitely miss every question and will never be lazy〃

19 There are few people in the world who can truly achieve happiness. , have become myths for people to commemorate.

20 こThe farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but that I am on Sina Weibo and you are on Tencent Weibo.

People who read it also read