What are some fun jokes?

1. I got a short haircut yesterday. Because I have a flat chest, my male colleagues said that I look like a man. I cried aggrievedly. At this time, the courier boy came in. When he saw me crying, he asked in surprise: "Why?" Are you crying like a girl?"

2. Question: What was the first 3D surround music you heard?

Answer: "Throwing the Handkerchief"

3. The woman skipped dinner for a month and exercised every day. Unexpectedly, she had not lost a pound after a month. Unable to accept the reality, she borrowed alcohol. When he fell drunk on the roadside, the police came to warm his heart and sent him to the canteen to borrow some rice to sober up.

4. It is said on the Internet that egg white can maintain hair. I poured an egg on my head after taking a shower, but the water was too hot and I had egg droplets all over my head.

5. "How much do you and your wife earn per month?"

"My monthly income is 10,000, and with my wife, it can reach 2,000."

6. "When doing a question, you must first think about the intention of the questioner"

"He wants me to die"

7. Going to work is too miserable. If you go to jail, you will get a reduced sentence. Go to work. Only overtime.

8. When it rains, I like to walk in the rain with an umbrella, covering my head with an umbrella. It feels so comfortable, as if you are the only one in the world. Until I was hit by a motorcycle rider...

There are many fun and funny jokes, I will share a few with you below

1. A friend started stock trading with only 10,000 yuan, and made 380,000 yuan after one month. When asked how he made his money, he said that if he recommended stocks to someone, his leg would be broken, and the other party would pay for it.

2. Today, a few friends went out to have a big meal. After eating, I asked who was ugly and who should pay the bill. The waiter on the side happened to hear it, then looked at us and said: "You are still AA Let's make it..."

3. A roommate's dad gave him 20,000 for living expenses, with an extra zero, and then his dad asked him to pay 18,000 back. The weird thing happened, he gave him Dad blocked me. . . The enemy has been blocked! Then he came home from vacation and found that his dad had moved!

4. The boy said to the girl: "There is a lip mark on your face." The girl quickly took out a small mirror: "Let me see. There is no one. The boy took the opportunity to kiss her." "Now there is "The girl was stunned for two seconds, and then smiled, "There is a slap mark on your face." I...

5. My sister just came out of the operating room, her face was bloodless, and I was so angry. Asked her: "Do you need anything?" Sister: "Take some photos for me." Me: "Why are you taking photos like this?" Sister: "Take them and save them for sick leave later." Me. . .

6. The girl bumped into her father at the school gate. She was surprised: "Dad, why are you here?" The father pulled her aside and said: "You are a loser, you can pay me for it." You come to school to study hard, but you have children with others! Do you think you are worthy of your mother?" Girl: "Dad, I didn't, who did you listen to?" Father: "You still want to hide it from me! I You and your mother have both seen it. You posted in the circle of friends that the baby is suffering and has a fever. The doctor said that he needs an injection. It scared the baby. I came here overnight! Tell me where my grandson is? Take me to see him. Look!

7.

I passed by a Roujiamo shop after get off work today, and a banner was displayed at the door: after 5 o'clock, Roujiamo is 4 yuan a piece. I waited decisively at the door for half an hour. I went in after 5 o'clock and ordered two. When I was paying, I asked the cashier: "Why does the Roujiamo cost 4 yuan after 5 o'clock?" How much is it before 5 o'clock? Cashier: "5 yuan for two." "

8. I am 22 years old and I met a 16-year-old girlfriend online. She suddenly asked me: "How old are you?" I thought for a moment and said: "16. She asked me again: "How old are you?" I thought she must know my real age, so she said: "22." She replied immediately: "I am determined to follow you for the rest of my life."

Thank you all for your support

Every word is a divine comment!

Life is full of jokes, here are some jokes from Little R:

1. At a company department gathering, the singing in the KTV private room was so loud! I was half drunk and half awake. I didn't know which colleague was singing, so I cut it off decisively. There was silence for a moment. It turned out to be our boss.

It was almost over now, and he had a flash of inspiration and said: Mr. I couldn't finish the work, so I was copying my deskmate's paper when suddenly a voice from behind asked: Have you finished copying? Me: Copied. When I saw it was the class teacher, he copied it and stood behind me...

3. I was immersed in work and felt a little thirsty, so I said to the person next to me: Get me a glass of water. I looked up and saw that it was me, Mr. I took the water, took a calm sip, and then said: The boss is the boss, and the water he receives tastes better than the water I receive. Looking at the smile slowly appearing on the boss's face, I knew that the job was saved.

4. Perform hemorrhoid surgery. Doctor: Have you been here before? Me: Yes, I came here once two years ago and you were the surgeon. Doctor: No wonder, I didn’t recognize you when I saw your face, but I recognized you when I saw your butt.

5. Dad: I asked you to download Yuanfang for me yesterday. Is it ready?

Me:...(looks confused)

Mom: That’s called youth...

1. Some people say that salary is like a woman’s aunt , once a month, then gone in a few days. My salary has not been paid for several months. Could it be that I am pregnant?

2. A hunter was hunting and saw two birds on the tree. He raised his gun and shot down one. He found that it was a hairless one. The hunter was wondering when another bird flew down and cursed the hunter, "You Tmd, I just stripped her naked and you took it off.

3. When I was sleeping, my body suddenly shook and I woke up. So I went to Baidu to find out "The reason why my body suddenly shakes while sleeping", and the answer was: the sudden shaking while sleeping is caused by nerves. The system found that you suddenly fell into sleep and had no activity for a long time. It thought you were dead, so it moved to see if you were dead?

4. A woman went to have her fortune told. The fortune teller said, Miss, something bad is going to happen to you recently because you have a bad omen. When the woman heard about it, she said, Well, I will take off my bra. Isn’t that good?

5. The difference between me and my foodie girlfriend is probably that I am very artistic. For example, I said: "Do you know? Missing is a disease!" She asked me: "How did missing become a pancake? I remember it used to be dumplings."

A child is 5 years old. He wets the bed all the time, and gets a beating from his mother every time. The child wet the bed again the next day, so the child went to the drawer to find a pair of scissors and prepared to cut off his little brother. But his mother was so frightened that she grabbed the scissors and asked: What do you want to do? The child said: It's not a big deal if you keep it. Sooner or later it will be beaten to death. It's better to cut it off and be done with it.

It’s hot, go to the supermarket to buy ice cream. I happened to see a female colleague’s cute baby playing in front of the supermarket, so I went to tease him and said: Come on, come on, call me daddy, and I’ll buy you an ice cream. The child looked up at me, thinking deeply. Just when I was lamenting that it’s hard to fool children nowadays, this naughty kid said something that made me collapse on the spot: Two! !

In order to lose weight, my wife applied for a fitness card, took weight loss pills, and skipped weight loss exercises, but it had no effect at all. As a result, I lost 3,000 yuan last month. I haven’t eaten much for half a month now and I have lost three pounds.

Please note that a group of organizations that blatantly sell popular human organs have become active recently. Everyone must be vigilant and avoid contact with strangers. Just now, I was standing by the flower bed in the park peeing, and someone came over and asked me: Are you shameless? I didn't dare to buy it.

It is not appropriate for Sun Bao to be allowed only to Xing Kuan

During the reign of Emperor Chengzu of the Ming Dynasty, one year there was an examination, and both Sun Yue Gong and Xing Kuan participated. The examiner repeatedly reviewed the test paper and unanimously believed that Sun Yueggong's article was the best, so he ranked first. .

The form of writing at that time was vertical. Chengzu of the Ming Dynasty was old and his vision was a bit blurry. He picked up the memorial sent by the examiner and took a look at it. Seen as one word. Adding the word "gong" under the word "曰" is like the word "violent" for cruelty. ‘Why do you choose such a name? ’ Emperor Ming Chengzu felt very uncomfortable. When he saw that the second place was Xing Kuan, he couldn’t help but feel happy: “Okay! Kuan, and it’s Xing Kuan, which is a homophone for Xing Kuan.

It’s good to be kind to the people without harsh punishment.” So he picked up the red pen and named Xing Kuan as the number one scholar, and wrote a large line of words on the imperial list: “This dynasty only allows Xing Kuan, how can it be appropriate for Sun Yat-sen to do so?” Violent"

In this way, Sun Yue Gong lost the top prize!

He lost the top prize by just one stroke

The story took place in the Yimao year of Renzong in the Northern Song Dynasty. One year after the exam started, Zhao Xu, a student from Jiangyou, Sichuan, came to Beijing (today's Kaifeng City) to take the exam. After the exam, Zhao Xu was full of confidence and felt good about himself. He felt that he had not won the top prize. After reviewing it, the examiner also felt that he could be considered the number one scholar, so he reported it to Emperor Renzong for approval. After reading it, Renzong said: "This person's article is well written and logical, and his methods and strategies are applicable, but his writing is a bit inappropriate. I will go to the palace tomorrow." I need to give him another oral interview.

The next day, Zhao Xu met the emperor in the palace. Renzong said: "I have read all your papers. In your article, the word 'although' is written incorrectly. The word 'although' is 'mouth insect beijia', but you wrote '厶 insect beijia'." "Zhao Xu replied: "Your Majesty, '厶' and '口' can be used interchangeably." Renzong was displeased. He casually wrote down the words "Quji, Wu Yue, Lutai", then handed it to Zhao Xu and said: "Write the word '和', and the mouth is written as 厶, then doesn't it become the word 'private'? Write the word '台', When the word "kou" is used above, it becomes the word "LV". When writing the word "kou", it becomes "厶". Xu was speechless. As a result, Zhao Xu failed to be selected as the number one pick. After going back, he sighed: "Although the words are different, the fame has been achieved."

In ancient times, in the evening. A man fell drunk in front of the nunnery. A nun helped him into the monastery, washed him in rows, and slept. Others laughed. The nun didn't reply. Write two lines and hang them on the door. The nun's uncle is an intoxicating wife and brother, and the nun's uncle is an intoxicating wife. The others were speechless. Guess who the drunkard is.

Be sure to read it together with the picture!

A buddy named Wang Genji went to meet his girlfriend’s parents for the first time one day. My girlfriend’s father: “You are Xiao Wang!” After thinking about it, he felt something was wrong, so he quickly changed his words and said, “You are Xiao Ji!” Seeing that the atmosphere was becoming more and more embarrassing, his girlfriend’s mother quickly came out to smooth things over, “You are the foundation! ”