Do you know: Yuan Wenshao, "One knows the importance of a wife in middle age": Yu Xiaoxiao, should we wait?

Of the four girls in the Sheng family, Sheng Hualan is the one who suffers the most from marriage. She has an eccentric mother-in-law who still cares about dowry, and a husband who is too ignorant to care about his wife and children. When I read the original "Know No", I thought, I must write about Yuan Wenshao, such a foolish and filial person, because it is really educational. This is also the place where I disagree with the author most in this book: I always think that Yuan Wenshao, a foolish and filial person, is unacceptable. In a big family, most of the foolish filial piety men are unattractive children. Yuan Wenshao is the second son of the Yuan family. He is Shengji's son-in-law. Shengji is attractive to him because Yuan's family is left out in the cold, so his descendants are more capable and sensible than ordinary people. Only those who have suffered hardships know that it is not easy to start a business.

Shengji is right. Yuan Wenshao is really a good young man. He found a good job at an early age with his own skills. Moreover, in order to satisfy his mother and let his brother not be wary of him, Yuan Wenshao repeatedly said that if he wants to work hard for his future, he can get less points or ignore Yuan's property. Very sensible, very motivated. But what is sensible and enterprising? It means that the second son, Yuan Wenshao, is not favored by Yuan Jia. Because I was not loved since I was a child, I knew from an early age that I had to rely on myself, be sensible and make progress, so that I could have a way out and a future.

This eccentricity of parents is a double-edged sword for children. Like Gu and Yuan Wenshao, because they were not loved since childhood, they exercised their skills since childhood, which made them smart and capable and easy to fight for themselves. But there is still a bad side. It is because of this eccentricity of their parents that they are extremely lacking in love and have a deep attachment to their parents. The difference is that Gu rebelled in every way because of the eccentricity of the old duke, while Yuan Wenshao was extremely foolish and filial because of his mother's eccentricity. Because he couldn't get more love from his mother, Yuan Wenshao learned to be sensible, to make progress, and to constantly meet his mother's unreasonable demands, just to be seen and recognized by her mother.

After Sheng Hualan married Yuan Jia, her mother-in-law Mrs. Yuan just didn't like her. Because Mrs. Yuan's eldest daughter-in-law is her niece, she prefers her eldest son, but the second son is capable and married a daughter-in-law, which is also very good. Sheng once praised her beautiful and majestic big sister: "She is a real favored child with good looks, family background and courage." Mother Kong couldn't help but look at Sheng Hualan for the first time. It is really bright and colorful. Even a foreigner like Gu knows: "Yuan's second wife is sociable and quite good at housekeeping." In the face of such an excellent daughter-in-law, Mrs. Yuan's partiality is somewhat due to women's jealousy.

She misses Sheng Hualan's dowry and wants to take it all and make it up for her eldest son and daughter-in-law. She is embarrassed by Sheng Hualan everywhere. Yuan Jia's eldest brother brought a concubine. She loves her niece and will stop her. But for Sheng Hualan, instead of stopping her, she gave a room full of concubines to her ambitious little son in order to make trouble for Sheng Hualan. What is even more unacceptable is that every time Sheng Hualan is pregnant, she will have some moths, either making Sheng Hualan stand outside the door with a big belly and make rules, or forcing Sheng Hualan to help her keep house. Anyway, her only purpose is to plunder Sheng Hualan's money and make Sheng Hualan feel uncomfortable everywhere. Didn't Yuan Wenshao know that his mother was so cruel to his wife? As Sheng said, "Brother-in-law naturally knows that his sister is having a hard time, but he thinks it is more important to obey his mother. A man with three wives and four concubines pretends that his family is harmonious. It's not that they don't know that their wives are sad, but that their happiness is better than their wives' sadness. "

Sheng Rulan also has a mother-in-law who wants to rob her of her money. But because Wen Yanjing can carry it clearly, Sheng Rulan rarely suffers. But Yuan Wenshao, until his mother hurt his children, only dismissed his concubines angrily, but never thought about how to protect his wife. If it weren't for Sheng Minglan's "bad idea", then Sheng Hualan's hard life would still be headless. Yuan Wenshao, is it really filial piety? I once studied the psychology of a foolish and filial person. People who are ignorant of filial piety are not really filial, but extremely selfish. Most of their filial piety is generosity to others, which really involves their own reputation and status. They may not be as filial as advertised.

When I was reading this part of Yuan Wenshao's original work, I specially found the relevant part of Yuan Wenshao to read it again and again. When his mother proposed to Zhuangzi of Sheng Hualan, Yuan Wenshao resisted. What is the reason for his resistance? It's not like it's Sheng Hualan's dowry. He loves his wife deeply and wants to protect her interests. But "Mom, it's right next to it. You will ask Hualan to marry Zhuangzi. Zhuangzi has more than ten acres of fertile land in the suburbs of Beijing. Besides, Shengjia is nearby now. If there is any change in this field, don't they know? After you asked your son, why did you look up at Yue's house? " When it comes to filial piety, it does not involve one's own interests. You are naturally willing to turn a blind eye, but once your reputation is involved, this "filial piety" can be saved.

Yuan Wenshao, a middle-aged man, was cold-hearted by his mother and warm-hearted by his wife and turned over a new leaf. Sheng gave a bad idea and gave her father-in-law an aunt Zhang. Mother-in-law Sheng Hualan finally separated part of her strength to fight for wives and concubines, instead of focusing all her energy on the mean kannika nimtragol. Under the influence of Sheng Hualan, Yuan Wenshao suddenly realized: "My parents are brothers and sisters, and my brothers all have their own families. Only his wife and children are sincere for him. " I put the word "influence" out because I really think it is not worthwhile and risky to persuade a foolish filial person for ten years.

What if Yuan Wenshao hasn't changed his mind? What if Sheng Hualan's family doesn't suddenly become famous? What should Sheng Hualan's son Shi Ge do if one eye is completely blind because of his mother-in-law's negligence? In other words, Sheng Minglan didn't have that "bad idea", so how painful Sheng Hualan's life should be. Sheng Minglan looked at Sheng Hualan's victory like this: "In this long history of struggle, Ms. Hualan was indomitable and consistent, never psychopathic, and finally defeated her evil mother-in-law. Really touching. " But the victory of this battle is not only the participation of Sheng Hualan, but also the participation of the whole Sheng family. The old lady of Shengjia married Sheng Hualan with a powerful maid Cui Chan, and she also found the old lady of Hejia, so that Sheng Hualan gave birth to her first son. After Shengjia moved to Beijing, Shengji also communicated with Sheng Hualan's father-in-law many times, hoping that Yuan Jia would not mistreat his daughter.

Sheng offered suggestions and gave her elder sister Sheng Hualan a breathing space. Sheng Hualan endured for ten years. During these ten years, she didn't suffer from psychopathy. She thanked the old lady of Shengjia for giving her Cuichan: "Fortunately, the old lady gave you to me before she got married. In the most difficult time, I spent every day with your encouragement and relief. " Yuan Wenshao turned over a new leaf under the influence of his wife when he reached middle age. However, there are several women who have such a good family background, such a good grandmother and such a good wrist, like Sheng Hualan, a favored son of heaven. But without all this, Sheng Hualan may be childless, mean by her mother-in-law and have no future all her life. In another ten years, even if she is not dead, she will have become a withered yellow flower, leaving only bitterness.

Yuan Wenshao, a foolish and filial man, should he wait? Is it worth marrying? I am glad that we were born in modern times, and we don't have to obey our parents' orders or matchmakers' words. Our marriage is not smooth, so we can stop loss in time. If we really meet such a filial person as Yuan Wenshao in real life, then we should do two things: First, Xue Shenghua keeps wooing her husband and making him change. I don't want to kill those stupid dutiful sons with a stick. It's really that they are stupid and filial, and most of them have the shadow of a family. Because of the lack of love, I desperately want love, so I want to get more recognition from my parents through ignorance. We have really met this kind of foolish filial piety, so we can communicate with them and tell them that this kind of foolish filial piety not only hurts the interests of his wife and children, but also connives at his mother. Once the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not in harmony, it is not only the daughter-in-law who suffers, but also the mother-in-law in her later years.

Second, if the advice is invalid and has seriously hurt the interests of you and your child, then stop the loss in time. After reading the original work, I have a feeling that a person's strength is insignificant. Whether Sheng Rulan or Sheng Hualan, including Sheng Minglan, their good days in her husband's family have a lot to do with the reliability of her family. If we meet a person who is ignorant of filial piety in real life, the dissuasion is ineffective, the parents are not strong externally, and the psychological quality inside is not good, then stop loss in time. The most important thing is not stop loss, but timeliness. Because once you have children, it becomes difficult. I sincerely suggest that unmarried men and women spend more time together before getting married. You should at least know what kind of man you are married to, what kind of family your husband is, and you want to remarry.