Baby, you are a blessing to your mother if you grow up healthily.

01

After my son was born, I often lay next to him while he was sleeping and stared at him quietly.

The chubby little face, the pink little mouth, the coquettish look at the corners of the eyes and eyebrows, and the cuteness of every frown, all made my maternal love overflow in an instant, and I couldn’t help but kiss him, I swear. He won't be harmed even in the world.

However, I often blame myself, because even though I was extremely careful and walked on thin ice when I grew up with him, I still couldn't shield him from all the pain and helplessness in the world.

On the third day after his son was born, he was diagnosed with severe jaundice.

When the pediatrician solemnly and solemnly asked me to make a choice, whether to send the child to the intensive care unit for round-the-clock monitoring or to send the child to the blue light room for blue light exposure, I experienced something for the first time in the hospital bed. It's called "a hundred claws scratching the heart".

Being sent to the intensive care unit will mean that mother and child will be separated for 24 hours, and being exposed to blue light will mean that the child will have to suffer some hardships.

First-time parents often cannot withstand all the "what if" doctors talk about, because no one can afford to bet on a delicate baby.

I felt sad, wronged, and distressed, especially when I saw that the children in the same ward could recover from jaundice just by taking medicine, but my child had to be taken away by the doctor to take a blue light, I had tears in my eyes. She was spinning, and the forced smile was uglier than crying.

But as a mother, I have no choice. After careful consideration, my son was taken to the blue light for three days. From morning to evening, he was kept alone in the small device. Sometimes he would cry out of hunger.

Those days were the most difficult time for me as a first-time mother. I didn’t think about food or food and cried in tears. Whenever he was sent back from the blue light room, I would hold him tightly in my arms. Here, kissing him is like hugging the whole world tightly.

02

The road to raising a child is like fighting monsters and leveling up. There will always be some small hardships along the way. Often, after climbing over this mountain, we will meet that river again.

The jaundice subsided, but there was still colic. The colic disappeared, but the fever returned. On the journey of raising children, every mother inevitably experiences worries mixed with joy, and feels the happiness and sweetness of being a first-time mother amidst the worries.

It is said that women are weak by nature, but mothers are strong. However, after I became a mother, I turned into a coward.

When he was still in my belly, a seed of love, I was worried in every possible way, lest he was an unhealthy baby and would face a rough fate in the future. And when he really became such a pink baby in my arms, I became more and more afraid that he would be cold, afraid that he would be hungry, afraid that he would be unhappy, and afraid that he would be unwell.

And I know that in the long years to come, my worries will not diminish at all. I will be more and more worried about him, nervous about him, and afraid that he will not be able to face the thick world of mortals calmly. In the wind and rain, I am afraid that he will toss and turn in the difficult situation, lonely and depressed, and I am even more afraid that no one in this world will be as attached to him and love him as deeply as I am.

Women are naturally weak, prone to overthinking, and gentle in nature. Since having children, I, who was originally sentimental, have become timid and thoughtful, and my mind is filled with all kinds of things. All kinds of assumptions.

If a child has a lot of eye mucus, could it be that the tear ducts are blocked? It must be painful to clear it, right?

The child choked on a mouthful of milk. He might have pneumonia. Hurry and lie on his chest to listen to his breathing. If he is hospitalized for infusion, he will definitely suffer a lot, right?

The child is used to sleeping with his head tilted, so he quickly bought a shaped pillow. He always stared at the back of his head like a lunatic. He always felt that the more he looked at it, the more he looked at it, and a surge of sadness came. In the future, the child will definitely go to school. Are you being laughed at by the kids?

I know it is an assumption, but for a mother, such an assumption is really heartbreaking.

I know that since I had my son, I have become the most timid and vulnerable mother in the world.

03

Every timid mother is the guardian angel of her children. After years of training, they all have unique skills and are comparable to excellent family doctors.

They are proficient in the properties of various children's medicines and have unique experience in treating pediatric diseases such as fever and diarrhea. They can identify a child's physical condition just by looking and smelling it.

Are they talented? No, in fact, it’s just that every mother has a deep maternal love in her heart.

If you have never experienced it, you certainly don’t understand what kind of suffering it is for a mother to have her baby fall ill. It is an unforgettable pain that is more painful than burning one’s body and cutting off one’s flesh.

After becoming a mother, I am very thoughtful and have a keen eye. Every subtle change in my son’s body cannot escape my observation, such as the slow growth of his hair, a red bump on his arm, or a cracked toenail. A small fine line.

I read various parenting materials, taught myself pediatric massage, and spent a long time in the hospital’s infant care group, asking doctors for advice. Because I don’t want to be an anxious mother who is helpless when my child gets sick.

But even so, whenever my son has minor symptoms, besides active treatment, I will still be anxious and even superstitiously pray to Bodhisattva, asking Bodhisattva to bless my child. If there is one person to bear the pain, then I am willing to bear everything for him.

It sounds a little ridiculous. In 2018, literary young women should be independent and self-sufficient, right? Isn’t it time to distinguish boundaries and live for yourself? Isn’t it time to put yourself first and your relationship as a couple? How did you learn the tricks of women in the old feudal society?

But let me ask, which mother has never had such anxiety and prayer?

04

Nowadays, the most unpalatable thing to me is the topic of maternal love and harm to children.

I felt sad when I listened to the melancholy tune "If the Wine Is Sold for Nothing"; when I saw a mother losing her life trying to save her child in the news, I burst into tears; when I watched a scene where a child was lost and parents grieved I was devastated by the movie about finding my loved one.

I went back to my hometown for a wedding during the holidays and heard by chance that a cousin’s child had been living in the hospital since he was born. His throat was cut open and he had to have a tube inserted to breathe.

As I listened, I felt so heartbroken that I couldn’t breathe. When I closed my eyes and thought about that scene, I felt like my heart was being cut by a knife.

Mothers all over the world have different looks, ages, abilities and circumstances, but they all have the same sincere heart for their children. The so-called maternal love is probably what all women have in common.

Sometimes it is unavoidable to imagine that the child will become a great person in the future, a person who changes the world, a wealthy and proud young man, and be admired by thousands of people with every gesture, including my old mother. Be revered.

But as long as the child sneezes and cries twice, my wild fantasy will instantly fall into place and become simple and ordinary.

Baby, baby, wealth is like clouds and status is like smoke. As a mother who loves you, I have only one humble thought, that is, that you grow up healthily and live a peaceful life.

If you are healthy and safe, even if you have no talent or talent, you are destined to be just the most ordinary ordinary person among all living beings, living an ordinary life and having ordinary little joys, then I will be content. .

Because you grew up healthy and safe, which is the greatest blessing for your mother.